HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

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DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Friday, February 02, 2007

Links (HowTo)

HI: I WANTED to say hello pretty randomly but having no specific thing to say did not ... but here's one thing that has been bugging me and I know that some of you out there do have the answer ...

When I refer in my post to something else on the internet, how to I make it so just the name appears (maybe in slightly different-looking writing) and all the reader needs do is click on that and wahey!! they're straight there ... I know this must be easy to achieve. Something, I expect to do with those spiky brackets I only ever use to depict myself dribbling rum punch (;->...). But other people use this facility frequently.

Please, somebody, explain how ...

... I would be most sincerely grateful ...

Many thanks.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's very simple, in Blogger particularly. See the little tool on the interface that looks like a sideways paperclip? That's a hyper link tool. You highlight text in your post, click the "paperclip" and a dialog box opens. Enter the URL you want to link to, say OK (or whatever the box is) and wa.la.la.

Jim said...

What Jennifer said.
Plus the address of the site goes after the href =" and the name the user sees in your post goes just before the left angle bracket, /A, right angle bracket sequence.

Jim said...

Oh yeah, you should click on the "Edit HTML" tab when editing a post before what I said will make sense :)

Anonymous said...

Like they said. And if you want to add an email address, you have to use mailto:(appropriate email-address) in that hyper link tool thing.

RUTH said...

I do the same as Jennifer. I go to the page I want the link to go to and copy the URL (highlight and control C), then highlight the word in my blog that I want people to click on, change the font, colour or size and then (while still highlighted) click the little paperclick thing, then hit contol V to paste the URL in. It works on pictures too.

Deb said...
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Deb said...
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Deb said...
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Deb said...

sorry gleds, that was me. i'm trying to give you the actual code to type, but it keeps creating a link, even though I'm omitting some of it.

The way the others describe didn't work for me...I was using Safari/Mac and those steps weren't applicable. I have to use actual code to link. I'll get it to you somehow ;)

Anonymous said...

Yeah, it keeps doing the same for me. I'll try again. You can cut & paste your own content into this code. Here's a link to my page from its name (omit the exclamation points and double dashes):

!--
Playing With Fire
--!

That should link you to my page but display the page name.

Anonymous said...

Sheesh, I didn't want it to do that!! Grrrr ...

Anonymous said...

Hey, thanks for dropping by my blog. :)

The HTML code for a hyperlink is this: < a href="http://yourlink.com" target="_blank">Your Link< /a >. (Just remove the spaces between the "<", "a", "/a", and ">"). The target="_blank" makes the link open in a new window.

I use CSS to make the links different colors/styles (by changing the a:link property in "Edit HTML"), but you can also change the link color by going to "Fonts and Colors".

Deb said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Deb said...

To add to Amanda's great advice...where she's got "yourlink.com"......you'd replace that with the actual address/URL of the place you're wanting to link to instead. Type or paste it right in there, in place of the your link.com.

then, where Amanda has "Your Link" the second time, you replace that with the word/text that you want people to "click" on. Type it right in there, between the ><.

this all happens in your post, as one line, exactly like she's got it. You just take out the parts we've stated and replace them with the address/text.

and the entire address (including the http part) must be in quotation marks.

the <<<>>>>'s and the a have to stay as part of the code, in exactly the order A has it, as does the /a

am i confusing things more, or helping?

Gledwood said...

Tomorrow I'm going to have a "let's put lots of links in" session so don't worry I'll sort it all out then. I'd rather have TMI than not enough, not enough can=lost ...

I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

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