HI! IT'S AFTER 3:30 in the morning. Beth Ditto, Yoko Ono and Scissor Sisters' Anna Matronic are sharing the Channel 4 sofa. Matran and Laundretta (hey - they could start a pop duo with those names) have been watching The Good the Bad and the Ugly. Its whistles and humming choruses boom through this house's cardboard construction.
When I was a kid, my brother and I watched that film with Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef and the other one about fifty times on Brian's old VCR. So old was it that the "remote control" was indeed "remote" but controlled the video via a fully trip-up-over-able wire!! How old-skool is that!!?
Hey - wow! I just had a dream I was "embedding" Swedish Youtube screens. How strange. I don't recall ever dreaming about blogging before ...
I don't know all of a sudden - why?? - but the lack of colour here or, most specifically, my want of photographs are bringing my blog down. I do believe.
In the early days of "web-logging", daily journals in styles similar to my own were the norm. Nowadays, however, I find myself very much in the minority of bloggers - because I'm blogging without photographs. Now my pages feel kind of stark and compromising ...
Or have I just cluttered up my sidebars so much that my actual blog seems disappointingly bland?
Well it ought not to be bland, when you read it. Surely ...? Hopefully...?
No?
One of these days I am planning to launch a brand new blog and this one shall be fully photo'd up.
But now I had better go. Because I've just been in the clinic and that makes me more depressed: being interrogated on how down I feel. I don't know... I've appointments every week because I'm such a headcase in their eyes. But the situation is this: I can either be getting weekly appointments but at least there's more chance I might get rehoused or at least some supposed benefit comes out of it. Or I can just get overlooked and then when I come out of the low - as I always eventually do - shall end up feeling angry at having been ignored when there was obviously something wrong and it's these people's job to do something about it.
I've still not got round to seeing my own doctor (at another place) and getting antidepressants. I was too depressed to move myself down there. Wah-waaahh! "Sad" indeed, but unfortunately true ...
OK I'm off now. It's mid-afternoon and the weather's perked from yesterday's miseries. Edyta said it was even hotter in Lithuania than it has been here! The sun is shining, fresh minty trees are swaying. Dappling sparklings and shadows all over ... OK I'll go before it gets too poetic. You'll all want anaesthetic to cleanse yourselves of it. OK I'm gone ...
!
pop !!
(gone)
whoooooohoooo! poetic! me likes!
ReplyDeletebtw, i was singing 'London Bridge' during eng lessons in primary school!
wish me luck, i have my english exam tomorrow!!!
i thought ALL your exams were finished you said SCHOOL'S OUT 4EVA!!!
ReplyDeleteWell best of luck
why am i saying this?
u don't NEED IT you are an INTELLECTUAL LITHUANIAN don't u c ?!?
muy buena pagina amigo de habla inglesa lo felicito me encantas los topicos que usted meciona felicidades.
ReplyDeletewhich means, according to Babelfish:
ReplyDeletevery good pagina English friend of speech I congratulate it you enchant the topicos to me that you meciona congratulations.
btw:
ReplyDeleteAcajutla Bendita Ciudad has some FANTASTIC photos posted
It would be great to see some photos on your blog. I've been trying macro photography...got a bit hooked on it...nothing great but if you fancy a look I started a blog of them
ReplyDeleteRx
I've blogged about dreaming, but I have never dreamt about blogging.
ReplyDeleteAnd now here you are blogging about dreaming about blogging. I'm getting a headache just thinking about it! :)
Hello!
ReplyDeleteI don't think your blog is boring...I love the color - it's cool and appealing to me. I don't care for most warm colors. After all, aren't we depressed folk supposed to be blue?
I know what you mean about being too depressed to go get antidepressants. Don't want to leave the house for anything or anyone! Just leave me alone...Too bad that attitude stinks but it's just where we are at times...
You don't need pics, I find your writing very interesting...
ReplyDeletesandy
i'm going to try and save this conversation from gabbly
ReplyDeleteGledwood: c
u
l
a
t
r
Paterfamilias: hello
Gledwood: Can't sleep
is someone out there?
Gledwood: Hello who is that?
say hi or forever hold your peas ...
ok sorry I gotta go ...
Gledwood: hi
anyone wanna talk
?
if not i'm going to
http://debsbox.blogspot.com
ok laters
Welcome to Gabbly!
Learn how to make money from hosting a chat by registering your name here!
gabber639 has joined.
gabber639 is now Gledwood
Gledwood: edyta
Edyta: heeeeey
:)
Gledwood: Edyta I'm back!!hey hows it going
?
Edyta: it's not too good
Gledwood: why?
Edyta: my friend's been attacked by a knife
Gledwood: OMG
shit
Edyta: got he lung cut a bit :|
gonna visit him tomorrow
Gledwood: has he got a drain on it
?
you know what I mean
Edyta: hmm, didnt actually get u
Gledwood: they have to drain the fluid off
Edyta: yeaaaaaaaah
thats right
Gledwood: so they open a hole about 2cms wide to the L or R of your bellyunder the ribs ... ok
Edyta: oh, btw my exam isnt tomorrow
Gledwood: he will be ok though
i know
Edyta: its on wednesday
he will!
u r soooo sweet for ur concern
Gledwood: what can i say
Edyta: how's it been going on there?
rain came here!
Gledwood: i mean.... right well not a lot it got cold
Edyta: btw, i was on the placebo concert yesterday
Gledwood: now it's warmer the English weather's v variable.... Placebo I know the name but I cannot place their music
have they got a famous song?
Edyta: yeah
bitter end
meds
emm
infrared
u can google for 'em on youtube
Gledwood: i will have to call up youtubes of them.... bet I know the tunes when I hear them...
Edyta: their british
Gledwood: just wot i was saying
!!
Ever heard of a band called BUSH
they are really famous
in America
Edyta: SUREEEE
Gledwood: but not here
they're British
are they big chez vous?
Edyta: hmmmm not so
ya know
Gledwood: haha! btw is it one last xam now
then all over??
Edyta: there r ppl called emo
u know them?
Gledwood: no! I've been quite out of touch with music
don't have a cd player
have radio
Edyta: a mix of goth & punk & i dunno what
they like cutting themselves
Gledwood: oh! I'm getting too old for that!!!
Edyta: haha!
so am i
yet
Gledwood: do you know what
i think back to when i was 16
Edyta: there were a lot of these "emos" on the concert
Gledwood: in the 1980s
Edyta: yeah?
Gledwood: ok... and the 1960s
were as far away then
as the 80s are now
only i don't think fashions have changed as much (musically/visually)
in the same number of years
bc you hear young girls
talking about Madonna
Edyta: thats right
Gledwood: whereas Marianne Faithfull
&
other 60s singers seemed from another PLANET almost to me then
also we wore drainpipe jeans
really tight
Edyta: woah :)
Gledwood: the 60s baggy clothes
Edyta: yup yup
Gledwood: seemed well bizarre yeah i remember
climbing a f******
mountain
well a big hill
in tight jeans
never again!!
also if they got wet
Edyta: hahahhahahah :D
Gledwood: u could HARDLY GET THEM OFF!!
you could always spot French people and Germans
in the 80s
bc they wore
Edyta: haahhahahahahha :D
Gledwood: bright colours
and baggier jeans
not flares
Edyta: U CRACK ME UP!
Gledwood: but they well stoood out!!!
Edyta: aaah
Gledwood: hahaha!!
Edyta: my dad looked like a hippie
guess he was one
Gledwood: Long hair?
Edyta: when i saw his pics
i was like OMG!
ya know
he reminded me of...
SHAGGY
Gledwood: ha-haaar!!
Edyta: fromk scooby doo
Gledwood: o yeah he's a real stoner
Edyta: from*
Gledwood: from what? what's * ... ?
Edyta: i loooove that cartoon btw
oh
when i make a mistake
Gledwood: o
ok
Edyta: i correct myself
like this
hmmm
Gledwood: it took me ages to realize what :D meant
Edyta: deyta
edyta*
:D
hahhahahahahaha
Gledwood: i use ...
gabber958 has joined.
Gledwood: ;->...
that is me winking
and dribbling
Edyta: i noticed
gabber958 has left.
Edyta: anywho
Gledwood: wow there's 4 people on at once that's loads more than usual
Edyta: heeey, how come only we r talking?
i use
:)
Gledwood: i know
Edyta: smiling
Gledwood: because may be
they not
gabber442 has joined.
Edyta: :| as sad
or :(
Gledwood: sorry
Edyta: also sad
Gledwood: I forget to use them most of the time
Edyta: then :D grinning
Gledwood: I'm too used to oldfashioned Words!!
is :D
someone with a big grin surely
and :O
Edyta: yep
Gledwood: is shocked
Edyta: yeah :)
Gledwood: hang on i'm thinking
for others
...
i think u said them all!
Edyta: hmmmz
:]
Gledwood: oH!!!
what about this one...
Edyta: is like another smiley
Gledwood: let me get it
Edyta: oh wait
i forgot my fave one
!!!
:P
tongue
:D
Gledwood: %-> that is me drunk
Edyta: LOL :D
Gledwood: i never saw the P one before!!
Edyta: imagine a tongue
:P
something like that
Gledwood: yeah
hang on isn't there one like
...
*-> = someone with a black eye
gabber442 has left.
Edyta: ahaaa
yup
oh wait
@)--->---
flower
Gledwood: WOW!!
&:-) an old lady's hairdo
or something
Edyta: :DDD
oooh
:)~~~
&
someone's drooling
:D
Gledwood: o no!!
there's one that means a humungous beard
canot think of it
maybe ;->>>>>
or something
Edyta: may haps :D
Gledwood: £:-) that's a designer hat ok i'll stop now
Edyta: hahahahah :D
Gledwood: what plans have you got
for the summer?
Edyta: Gleds, u always have so many things to say
i just wanna sit & listen listen listen
:D
hmmm, nothing coherent yet!
Gledwood: travelling? working? ...
Edyta: i'd love to travel
!!
Gledwood: o when i was about your age
i did a thing called
Jeunesse et Reconstruction
it's a french charity
you camp for 3 weeks
Edyta: aha & its abt?
Gledwood: and work every day
5 days a week but only mid morning till mid afternoon
either excavating ruins or repairing buildings or clearing the countryside
type of thing
you only pay your ticket there
& i met zillions of people
from all over europe
(I so am glad at times like that
that I am European not American, know what I mean?)
Edyta: hmmm
tell me why?
Gledwood: well America is one culture
Edyta: ahaaaa
Gledwood: the DIFFERENCES
are more of CLASS
and money things
Edyta: yeah got it
:)
Gledwood: whereas in Europe everyone has their own ... ok
Edyta: tell me gleds, to what countires have u travelled?
Gledwood: ok when I was about 11 Malta
then Holland about 13
France
did that work camp thing
also Spain
and Morocco i went to morocco by train and boat via spain from Wales!
flew to India in 2000
Edyta: U LUCKY LUCKY FELLOW
Gledwood: that's it but I'm so glad i went esp morocco & india
Edyta: time to use this emotion: :O
Gledwood: morocco is v like india
you should definitely go
somewhere
bc i tell you
Edyta: guess what
Gledwood: a stereo or something
Edyta: Dan said the same thing!
Gledwood: ... sorry?
oh!
Edyta: he said india was magical
!
Gledwood: basically things you can hold in your hand are nice but if you can get totally away you never forget it
the stars are amazing
the atmosphere is kind of magic as well
having said that
Edyta: yeah...
Gledwood: i think back
and was well not TOTALLY unaware
but
Edyta: awww! i wish i could travel :)
Gledwood: you can!
Edyta: yeah, but its not for my pocket :)
Gledwood: you already have English better than a lot of English people
no what I'm saying is
you can go to London/Paris did you do French I can't remember?
you could go to somewhere like that
and work
and travel on THAT money
Edyta: :)
sounds fascinating
however i dont know french
Gledwood: you wil meat so many people in places like London paris
what is the other language
apart fromRussian
Edyta: i know only 4 languages
polish
Gledwood: Lithuanian
Edyta: & lithuanian
Gledwood: Oh Polish
Edyta: thats right
Gledwood: How come Polish?
o
you've polish blood?
Edyta: i am polish myself
Gledwood: oh! i bet it's a long story
how you came to be in lithuania
Edyta: t'is
Gledwood: then!
Edyta: well
Gledwood: haha
yes
?
Edyta: r u sure u wanna hear this?
okie
Gledwood: ok
Edyta: the history
of lithuania
!
dum dum dum dum
!
soa, back in the 1920's
vilnius, the capital of LT
Gledwood: yep
Edyta: didnt belong to lt at all
cuz the polish came
Gledwood: ok
Edyta: & kinda occupied it
Gledwood: ok
Edyta: soa, it belonged to poland
then during the world war 2
Gledwood: i think i know what ur gonna say
did the borders all move
to the west
Edyta: it was also occupied by the natzis & polsih &
everyone else, who wasnt lazy
:D
but then
as the natzis lost
the borders were set
during the postdam conference
in 1945 i think
Gledwood: yep they cut right into Germany
Gdansk/Danzig
used to be German
Edyta: THATS RIGHT!
Gledwood: didn't there used to be 2 bits of Germany
with Poland in the middle?
Edyta: so lithuania took vilnius again
Gledwood: Is Vilnius a v old place?
Edyta: & poland had a larger teritory in the end
so u see
there was this mixture of culture
in vln
germans
Gledwood: u must not remember the USSR
Edyta: the polish
Gledwood: surely you're too young?
Edyta: russians
Gledwood: weren't you about 2 when the wall came down
?
Edyta: USSR!
i was born in the ussr!
Gledwood: yeah there#s loads of russians
Edyta: i was born in a country
Gledwood: there weren't they
Edyta: that does not exist!
Gledwood: and they don't speak Lithuanian
?
oh i see
somehow the former ussr government
let you keep the latin alphabet
i remember reading that bc that's well unusual
Cyrillic became the badge of Communism.
Edyta: well u see
artists couldnt paint
singers couldnt sing
writers couldnt write
cuz they were just banned
cuz of the censorship
Gledwood: i remember seeing this clip of moscow/somewhere in the 1960s
this guy was dancing in the street
Edyta: OH!
Gledwood: the commentator said something really telling
bc midway through the dance
Edyta: now dont get fooled!!!!
Gledwood: the guy LOOKED OVER HIS SHOULDER
see what i mean?
Edyta: let me tell ya
Gledwood: what do you mean don't get fooled
Edyta: when a troup from london
or paris
was comming to the ussr
they had this programme called
cleaning time
during this time
they would gather all homeless ppl
or bandits
Gledwood: shove them away?
Edyta: & drive them
somewhere
further
& then the foregners
Gledwood: oh! i see...
Edyta: see this pompastic
idyllic place
Gledwood: yep
Edyta: so, it was all an illusion, this ussr
communism
etc
Gledwood: i didnt know they had homeless
and bandits
i thought
that after the wall came down
the black marketeers
from ussr times
took over
& became mafia
but i didn't realize there was already any underclass
didn't everyone get a job?
i heard about people
working in factories
basically employed
to lock the doors at 5pm
Edyta: well
they died bc of overwork...
Gledwood: sitting all day doing nothing bc their job was basically made up
oh the OPPOSITE
Edyta: yeah...
Gledwood: i heard there were jobs
basically with nothing much to do
Edyta: noooo
Gledwood: just so 100% employment cold be claimed
Edyta: mostly there was physical work
carrying stones
& heavy things
& working a non humane work
& no difference who r u
Gledwood: like slavery
?
Edyta: a professor or a thief
u have to do it
Gledwood: it sounds almost as bad
Edyta: or be shot
SLAVERY!
Gledwood: as the Cultural Revolution
gabber132 has left.
Gledwood: in China
Edyta: exactly!
noooo
its worse
gabber26 has joined.
Edyta: China was just a follower
of the ussr regime
Gledwood: really? but Mao sounded like a NUTTER!
Edyta: it was awful!
he was
Gledwood: OK STALIN WAS FAR WORSE
Edyta: but mao admired stalin
& kinda copied him
Gledwood: he was on a level with hitler
Edyta: however stalin
Gledwood: stalin
i mean
Edyta: was just laughing at him
Gledwood: yeah? at mao
?
Edyta: thats right!
Gledwood: the way I see it
since communism came down
nearly everywhere
the world is unified
Edyta: yeah
Gledwood: and trading one country with another
Edyta: but on the other hand
it broke ppl's lives
there r different ppl
some r more conservative
they couldnt deal this new laws
cuz they got used to communism
Gledwood: it's not fair
i understand that
Edyta: a lot of them even finished their own lives
by suicide
Gledwood: i'm one of those peole
Edyta: so, its an awful thing, in general
Gledwood: i could have either been a model citizen
or
i would have gone contrary
and said
this system of ours (communism) is
too RIGHT WING
DISPOSE OF THE NUCLEAR FAMILY
GET RID OF MONEY
COMMUNAL LIVING
IN GYMNASIUMS ON THE FLOOR
NO INDIVIDUALITY
NO INDIVIDUAL HOMES
!!
Edyta: sounds disgusting, doesnt it?
it changed the mentality of so many ppl!
Gledwood: really it's like orwell
Edyta: for example
lets play pretend
i am ur naighbour
Gledwood: yeah
Edyta: right?
Gledwood: ok
Edyta: neighbour*
& i see that u bought a new car
Gledwood: yep
Edyta: so i automatically think
that u have more than me
u live a btter life
gabber26 has left.
Edyta: u should be get ridden of
what do i do?
i call the KGB
Gledwood: oh you grass me up to
Edyta: tell on u
Gledwood: yes
i see
Edyta: a black car comes
they get u
torture u
make u admit to crimes u ahve never done
Gledwood: yes
Edyta: & voila
u r :
Gledwood: of course
Edyta: a) in prison
b) shot
c) a slave worker
so this is how it all was working
Gledwood: or didn't they used to say people were insane?
Edyta: i've read books abt it
how they made soap out of human fat left overs
ropes from human hair
Gledwood: and pump them full of antipsychotics just bc they disagreed with the system?
oh that
is dusgusting
i heard that as well
Edyta: its awful
even
Gledwood: hitler
Edyta: worjkers were eating
Gledwood: or natzis making human leather
Edyta: bodies
Gledwood: gross
Edyta: of their own dead friends
Gledwood: it's easy to say this now
Edyta: yeah...
Gledwood: but i don't think
Edyta: these were not ppl anymore
Gledwood: i could ever eat another person
Edyta: these were animals
Gledwood: i see what you mean
Edyta: & when freedome came
Gledwood: did you ever read George Orwell
Edyta: & these animals were free
Gledwood: Animal Farm 1984
Edyta: they just commited suicide
Gledwood: i don't blame them
Edyta: or killed other ppl
Gledwood: do you know
we still don't hear that much
Edyta: cuz their mentality was forever changed
Gledwood: about this stuff over here
Edyta: THATS RIGHT
Gledwood: that#s why i'm glad
i did german
bc it gave me access to 2 worlds
but the wall came down between
starting the A level course
and finishing it!
Edyta: oh yeah
:)
Gledwood: it was weird
Edyta: scary world we live in
Gledwood: i was fascinated by east
berlin etc
...
u mean now?
o
Edyta: in general
Gledwood: i see what you're saying HUMAN NARUEW
nature
Edyta: look at history
Gledwood: sorry
Edyta: all ppl do is hate
Gledwood: history is full of repetitions
Edyta: & by hate we kill
murder
etc
:|
oh GOSH! LOOK AT THE TIME
Gledwood: i know
i have to go
as well
Edyta: i've gotta run
Gledwood: i don't want to keep ypu
you
i hope your friend
well i know
Edyta: we should repeat our conversatiob
Gledwood: will be ok
and best
Edyta: thanx, Gleds
Gledwood: of luck with XAM
Edyta: !
Gledwood: take care!
Edyta: tahnk you
Gledwood: see you later!
Edyta: u too, surely!
Gledwood: ok
byee!!!
Edyta: cya cya :)
bbye
Edyta has left.
Gledwood: ok
gabber692
Gledwood
Name:
hi there , i found you , welcome to my blog and let me have a chance to see yours , thanks so much , and here is my flickr photos , take a look if you have time , cheers~
ReplyDeletehere it is:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.flickr.com/photos/nasserchung/