Cuboid Eyes

MY EYES ARE SQUARE, my brain is fried. Ziggies are zagging from retinal glare right back to the right back of my head. Why did I actually decide to post up a blog full of trash? Paris Hilton. Lindsay Lohan. That's what people wanna see. So in a moment of madness I posted it all up. If you wish to view it, press here.

As it is I am now tired and unsure. And hungry. And have to wait to get the money to eat. Which is so typical.

I did have a meeting with yet another drugs nurse today. She encouraged me to write out a brief sketch of my life so she at least has something to go on. This is a good sign. It means they may actually see the wood rather than just the rotten trees, know what I mean?

Also I did a wise thing and told her that if I am to get clean I wish to go abroad. Europe is suppsedly a single Union and I should have the same rights to training, housing &c as here. There are Members of the European Parliament supposed to protect these rights. And agencies through which millions of euros are funnelled who are supposed to inform me of these rights. At present I'm looking for an access point that will put me in touch. Google just has the obvious stuff for businessmen wanting to trade overseas.

Perhaps my earlier posts gave the impression that I want to travel. That isn't really it. I want to uproot myself and plant down somewhere else. Whoever came up with that idiot saying "Grow where you're planted" ... well plants can obey that little credo. I have legs for a reason. To get me out of places I've had enough of!

Basically, what I want to do is pick a town (not necessarily a large city but those are the places I gravitate to) and make that home. Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin would be the kind of place. Or somewhere hot by the sea ... Costa del Sol, Barcelona, Italy somewhere, Greece. I'm blessed that I do pick up foreign language pretty easily so that isn't the biggest barrier. But where I end up... eventually... wherever I like I want to stay. I hate feeling like an outsider. I'm willing to be one but only while adopting pastures new as home.

As I said the other day my family sometimes seem to think I'm assuming the grass is always greener. I know it is the same grass just a different field. I have a vision of being somewhere overseas with people babbling all around me feeling miserable, thinking what am I doing here. But I'd rather be thinking that any day than be stuck in middle-England feeling more isolated, let down and flabby because I never even made the effort to go anywhere to begin with. My family is scattered worldwide because of itchy feet in the past and now I've just posted my own daydream. Well... we'll see ...