DRUNK AT 7AM! That was me today! A cleaning bug bit me (bedbug more like)... and I had to have alcohol to get moving... in the end it deteriorated into me plunking out random glockenspiel sounds on Yamaha synthesizer as Moonlight Sonata blared from free Mail on Sunday "Country Cottage" CD. The neighbours have spent enough time annoying me I felt it was my turn to make some noise. Strangely none of this woke up Laundretta or Matran... perhaps I was being quieter than I thought...
Later in the morning I took to feeling really quite ill. Eventually I had to return home and to bed and sleep it all off. How inconvenient.
Nobody got disturbed by my impromptu classical music concert, either.
I THOUGHT I WAS HALLUCINATING EARLIER ON WHEN I SAW BABY ITCHY RUNNING AFTER A BALL IN THE PARK! Yes! My escaped hamster had turned loose on the green I was frantic with concern... till I realized it was just some old age pensioner's Yorkshire terrier... hmmm.
AND BIG MOMMA SPHERICAL GOT STUCK trying to squeeze her fat backside out of the Tea House (a Sainsbury's Red Label 40 teabags box with "windows" cut in all sides by moi) ... she looked so indignant and I had to resist temptations to give her a poke with an old crow's feather or something that would really have got her moving. Neither was she put in a good mood by my sudden appearance, cackling at her and saying "Have you got a fat bum? You have!"
BASHFUL has done nothing of note of late except been bashful.
YANGYANG the Chinese hamster has aphagia. I once told a certain friend "aphagia" meant giving up smoking and they believed me!
Yesterday I revelaed to Ruth how I have 50% turnip blood coursing these battered veins of mine. In fact half my entire family have (or had when they were alive) Wurzel Gummidge accents.
Ruth was quite shocked and confessed she had believed me to be product of some ancient aristocratic lineage.
Not so, I'm afraid. Although I did used to speak in the same voice as Prince William when I was a student in Norfolk many moons ago... this had more to do with being surrounded by public schoolboys and Sloanes and being out of touch with the local people. Two of the people I know now claim to hail from elevated backgrounds. But most of my friends nowadays really are quite vulgar. Some even have Cockney accents.
Yeah, as I was saying to the Duke of Marlborough only the other day: I'm a real man of the people .....
And on that note I had better leave things be...
Tunes:
Sinead
Thank You For Hearing Me
Three Babies fan vid
Three Babies original vid
I had a similar day, sans the jam session and accents. O.K. so the only similarity was that upon waking early with a hangover and seeing an open beer still full, drank that and then commenced cleaning the refrigerator out of any others and spending the rest of the day with my cat in bed watching the history channel with nibblies and scotch. As I said to Lord Byron just the other day, The only thing in the world worse than getting drunk in the morning, is not getting drunk in the morning.
ReplyDeleteA real man of the people with a great sense of humour, really enjoyed reading your post especially the part about Itchy in the park ( reminding me of an old song )Had a similar experience last night when visiting my son, thought there was one of those draught excluders by my feet,until it moved and I realised it was the Boa constrictor out for some exercise.......Pass that bottle please. Enjoy your day Gleds
ReplyDeleteHey I thought I had answered these.. how singularly REMISS of me... I wish I had the history channel... one day when I'm rich I shall have a wallmounted plasma TV hooked up to a multimedia PC or even better apple MAC ... I shall use this Mac to make THEE ambient album of the noughties... a skewed simmering vibratron of odd sounds plus me singing (after extensive lessons) my own versions of out-of-copyright songs plus melodies of my own composition ... as well as my own poems read in my Shakespearean actor's voice... wow it will be an underground hit... people will kill to get hands on the limited edition double vinyl version...
ReplyDelete... but lots of people think I'm NOT a man of the people Audrey ... once I showed Valium Marilyn a picture of the Queen's "blue drawing room" (a ballroom by anyone else's standards) from Buck House and said "this is like my old drawing room from the house I grew up in but quite a bit smaller" and she BELIEVED ME!!
Yes I have seen THREE Porkshire Terrorizers that reminded me of Itchy... he doesn't like it when I laugh and say "You're a little Porkie, you are!£" ... somehow hamster faces can portray indignancy... like Big Momma Spherical a wriggling and a-biggling her fat backside through that teahouse window... imagine Mama Cass trying to wriggle out of a back toilet window if you will.. and THAT is the impression Momma Spherical created... she was SO OFFENDED when I laughed at her...
My cousin, a little Welsh girl, went to uni in Reading or Kent or ... somewhere English, and the first time I saw her afterwards I nearly fell off my chair. Heard her more like. I could not believe the accent she was putting on. It wasn't just the unconscious picking up of dialect or lilt, but like someone who was trying to take off the Queen. Badly. And she was serious. I kept waiting for her to forget and to talk proper like, but she kept it up. And now she never visits her old mum and dad (they're too common for someone who now lives in Surrey.)
ReplyDeleteDoth the man protest too much!!!! Surely there's blue blood in those veins somewhere????? Sorry Gleds but you've still not destroyed my illusions of you...or have I just drunk too much red wine and seeing you through rose coloured glasses :o)
ReplyDeletewell you are hardly the first to gather that opinion of me... but far as i know i am just an oik and as vulgar as everyone else
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you did, Gleds. Say it that is. It's true.
ReplyDeletei hate people like that...
ReplyDeletei spent years not seeing my family but it was bc of water that hadnt yet passed under the bridge... not snobbery
if you feel you have moved on to bigger and better things you should not feel bad/scared/disgusted at going back where you came from bc you have truly moved on
seems to me someone like that is just a fake and is scared of getting found out!