Saturday, August 16, 2008

"Help! Call an Ambulance! I'm Neurotic!!"

IT'S BEEN ALL GO AT MINE. I innocently clambered down the stairs the other day with the intention of re-joining the library and glugging some cyder, yet this was thwarted by sheer emergency in the hall. The Portuguese cleaner, and my Abyssinian neighbour were crowding around the Indian lady from the front room who was howling protestations of how ill she was. "Please get me a doctor! Please come with me!" (All this focused now on me.) I said well none of us has a car so we'll have to get an ambulance. Bear in mind the woman was on her feet, complaining of "heart pain" and "vomiting" (though no vomit to be seen anywhere)... I quickly sussed what the other two aparently hadn't: that she was talking about emotional symptoms. At one point she even wailed out that her "heart was breaking". Anyway, not being a doctor (and she was after all in great distress: I just didn't believe it had a physical cause) I did ring for an ambulance. The woman who answered was obviously used to dealing with crank calls and timewasters and asked some stupid questions in a highly cynical voice. When she misheard the woman's age she said "what? One?" NO FIFTY-ONE. Dur. The ambulance crew, when they arrived were equally puzzled (not wanting to waste an ambulance). One turned to me and said "do you know anything about this?" I glanced to the woman, who was looking away, tapped my finger to my head and said "it might be..?" then the crew nodded and said "ah!"

Honestly! And this "dying" soul was at home the next day feeling "very much better"!

No wonder the ambulance service get sick and tired... (but what else could I do? Walk away on someone who obviously believed she was ill... plus it all fell down to me to use the phone as I was the only native English-speaker.

Apart from that I'm sweating so hard I may as well have showered and dressed without drying. That's how wet I am (forgot to take METHADONE. Dur!x3607!!)

And my roborovskis slept in their diggery last night (only because I konked out forgetting they were in there...) they came out with the softest show-combed fur I've ever seen...

Happy Weekend to y'all!

Video:
Raymi: "Cuts own 'bangs'"... (that's called a "fringe" in plain English...)...


15 comments:

  1. I hate that word "bangs" so much. I am not usually a language freak, though some terms and phrases do annoy me, but the "bangs" thing, it's just the most vulgar, ugly-sounding, non-descriptive word for a fringe I've ever heard.

    You did the right thing by calling an ambulance, simply because, you never know. It could have been a disaster had there really been something wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yep, did the right thing alright. At least she wasn't doing what some older folk are doing here, calling ambulances and using them as taxis! How can you 'forget' your methodone man . . tie a piece of string around yer digit! And if I sleep in a bed of shavings, will my hair go soft and straight?

    ReplyDelete
  3. If you hadn't called an ambulance and something bad happened, you would have felt terrible. You did the right thing! Let the medics decide what to do from then on.

    Fringe?? That is what we call the trim on scarves! lol

    ReplyDelete
  4. I agree, I think you did the right thing calling the ambos, Gleds. It may have started out emotional but could have ended up a lot worse. Better to be sure than sorry.

    I'm not sure how fringe gets turned into bangs. Bangs? Bangs? That's the loud noise fireworks and guns make, isn't it? My fringes have always been pretty silent hairstyles.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm agreeing with everyone too ... fingers crossed the lady doesn't knock on your door for any second opinions Dr Gleds *!*

    ReplyDelete
  6. It's good that you called an ambulance, even though it wasn't clear that the woman wasn't actually sick.

    Forget your methadone? I don't think I could ever do that, not that I'm on it. Well, take your methadone and stop your sweating. = )

    ReplyDelete
  7. Geesh gleds, so much drama in your life. I hope you find some peace soon. But good for you for calling the ambulance - the woman obviously needed attention.

    I haven't visited Raymi's place in ages...my God, has her hair ever grown. To think, that's where I first "met" you (or at least saw your comment, which prompted me to come visit you). So glad I did!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Fringe vs Bangs. I agree that bangs is a vulgar sounding word and ultimatley fringe is a better descriptive for bangs, however, my north americaness will not allow me to convert. When I was in Sussex I went to inquire about getting a trim in my boyfriend's parents village. I ask the woman how much it would be to get my bangs cut and they all giggled in that ever so cute English giggle that you guys can pull off. The end.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I would have done the same thing in your shoes. Lord you have alot of drama where you live!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Nicole: ... ambulance... I know. I really didn't want to. In my years ago psychology studies we learned how people from foreign cultures describe psychiatric symptoms in totally different terms (often psysical ones) ... ie so her "heart breaking" ... but the ambulance crew never picked up on this until I underlined it for them. (I was quite surprised by that...)

    Yeah I'm with you on the "bangs"... what a silly expression for something that sounds like a "fringe" not something making an explosion!!!

    Baino: forgetting methadone? Hardly ever do that, am too neurotic for it! It IS easily done otherwise though as it has such little discernable effect you feel the same (initially) whether you took it or not!

    Kahshe: hey we call scarf-trim "bangs"!

    ...only joking...

    Pussinboots: one of my friends used to have a Princess Diana "walnut whip" style hair-do...

    ... yeah you never can tell what's psychic, what's psychosomatic (or even somatopsychic, come to think...)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Bimbimbie: SOMEONE has knocked on my door at after midnight... but I've not the faintest idea who it might have been (have my suspicions tho...) as I never answer doors in the dead of night, on principle.

    Lucinda:
    hey as I said up above it doesn't hardly do anything. If it did do some instantaneous magic-wand-waving-style effect I'm sure I'd never forget it in 1000,000 years; but as it is...

    Debs: is that where you found me..!! You know I never knew that!! Yep Raymi's blogue's still going strong. And she never stops posing in that there bathroom...

    As for peace: me too. I'm fed up of getting disturbed like that and why should it all fall down to ME to sort everything out? They easily spoke enough English between the rest of them to sort it out between them

    Eileen: the English Giggle? Someone will have to point that one out to me someday. I cannot "picture" it (if you CAN ever picture a sound...)

    I do know the Japanese (female-only) giggle though:... you too..??

    MQ: a lotta drama? You can say that again.

    Monogram Queen said...
    I would have done the same thing in your shoes. Lord you have alot of drama where you live!


    OK OK ~!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am not saying that the English as a whole are known for their giggling, however, when they do giggle it is cute, in a paddington bear kinda way ;)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hey I never knew Paddington Bear laughed either.

    Though I was reading one of his stories in bed once and my mum came up with a bucket. "What's that for?" I said.

    "You were making such a funny noise; I thought you were being sick."

    No: I was LAUGHING at Paddington's exploits in the curmudgeonly Mr Curry's back garden. That evil Mr Curry that used to call out, "Bear!" and his face purple with rage..!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Gawd. You are really rippin on me. IF paddington bear laughed (which i am pretty sure he did in the animated series) THEN he would giggle like a silly Englishman. JEESH. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Panic attack. I have to live with that shite on a daily basis. I have to be hard with myself. If you only knew what was behind it....

    ReplyDelete

For legal reasons, comments that incite hatred, racism, issue threats or include personal contact information will be deleted.