I WAS INNOCENTLY WASHING CLOTHES last night when, a few minutes into the cycle, a gigantic clunking took hold and sustained itself inside my washing machine. So annoying was this, I was compelled to get up and peer inside... only to view nothing less than a bloody great dagger held fast and lodged inside the rubber seals of the door and methodically stabbing at and slowly shredding my clothes with each turn of the drum. Dagger ~ shmagger. OK it was my missing Ikea kitchen knife. The one that left a gaping hole in my new knife block. But it's the nearest to a dagger that i possessed. And as much as anything the handiest one.
To say I was upset to catch it destroying my clothes in the washing machine is something of an understatement. I could not get the door open for love nor money. What if a small child had been in there? Or a puppy? Surely they have some system for prematurely opening machines mid-cycle?
In the end I turned it off. No luck with the door even after waiting the requisite three minutes. I finally did get it open ~ with a machine full of grey water, by turning the dial clockwise to the cycle's end, then waiting again. And finally I got my knife back ~ clothes seemingly relatively unharmed.
I shall be writing to Ikea about the bluntness of their chopping knives for this.
Then this morning I left home in a hurry. Door failed to close so I slammed it hard.
Got back and not a single key I found would open the lock.
Of course my in-house neighbours were nowhere to be found when I took to banging downstairs windows... etc. This is one of those double-glazing-type doors where the lock comes out at several points down the frame. Right at the bottom a lever was on display: bent through the frame and stuck. I got it inside. Kept banging at the door turned backwards (facing the street) with my backside. I'm gald I had the intuition to do this because eventually something went click. Key entered. Key turned. And hey presto! In I went!!
But very upset at the occasion...
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Ignore this: the link is for my own use... old shorthand manuals at http://gregg.angelfishy.net
What a day, gleds! I should stay indoors doing nothing for the rest of the day if I were you.
ReplyDeleteMay I ask how your kitchen knife made it into your laundry?
ReplyDeleteThis is kinda off topic but here is a story for you. The only reason I am regailing you with it is because I initially thought you may have stumbled upon a murder weapon in amongst your clothing or something...
My Uncle lives in BC and frequently went down to Cali on business. Usually he rented cars are drove down. While on his way back up to the Canadian border, in his rental vehicle, he notices something mettalic on the ground. He picks it up and drops it quickly upon noticing that it was a spent bullet from a .45. He calls the State police before hitting the border to report it. Upon further inspection of the vehicle it became evident that it was used to smuggle coke. If it was me I would have most certainly pooped.
It was one of those days wasn't it? ;)
ReplyDeleteHaha that's hilarious. I thought for a moment some 'crim' had stashed their knife in an inconspicuous place! And if it's any consolation, at least your washing machine works! Mine won't pump so I've been ladeling buckets of water out of it before the spin cycle. There goes another $800 for a newbie. GAH!
ReplyDeleteWhen even inanimate metal objects are conspiring against you, you know you got it hard...
ReplyDeleteHow the hell did that knife get in your washing machine, Gleds?? Did you hide it in your dirty laundry after a deed most foul...or are you loosing your mind...?
ReplyDeleteLiz: that's precisely what I did... except when I went out again. Checking the front door very carefully...
ReplyDeleteEileen/R: it was my own tomato-chopping knife that I'd lost days ago. Which was dagger-shaped... How on earth it got in there I've no idea...
Akelamalu: say that again.
Akelamalu: I meant you can say that again...
ReplyDeleteBaino: bloody hell. I am glad it works. The clothes were remarkably ok as well... I commiserate about the $800. Why don't you try shoplifting a new one? Nobody would believe you'd actually have the cheek to steal it. You never know security might even hold doors open for you as you exit...
O yeah washing machines are usually bought by delivery. Ho-humm. Well you could always say you're delivering yourself as you live in an Island off the Northern Territory...
Crushed: that is precisely how it felt. I was seriously ANNOYED
Pussinboots: probably I am losing my mind. How the hell it got in there I'd seriously like to know as I was so annoyed to see it in there with the machine merrily trundling on. I nearly had a pink fit, I can tell you...
You havent lost that lovely ability to tell a tale Gleds had me chuckling at the end....not at your misfortune but been there done thats so I know how frustrating it feels. Loved your lead through on the recipe on the previous post too, can see you on tv hosting a celeb cookery show, with real aplomb
ReplyDeleteHope your well and thanks for bringing a smile to my face today
xx Auds
p.s my post is a bit serious so If your looking for light and humerous give it a miss..ha ha lifes like that though xx
ReplyDeletep.s my post is a bit serious so If your looking for light and humerous give it a miss..ha ha lifes like that though xx
ReplyDeleteHey did you know I was thinking of becoming the first (famous) internet cook. Can you imagine that?
ReplyDeleteThis story is insane! I too was wondering how that knife got there or why it was even in there in the first place.
ReplyDelete"What if a small child had been in there? Or a puppy?"
OH CHRIST! That is so awful yet funny a thought.
Happy Xmas Gledders!