THE AIR IS CRISP, the hum of traffic hushed. And all around, spiralling, flurrying ~ the tiniest snowflakes you ever did see!None of it's settling on the grey pavements of London ~ that would be far too romantic for this clapped-out town. But hey it is nice to have some noteworthy weather for a change.
Other good news: I only slept about eight hours last night! Perhaps the fact I was curled foetal-wise in a whirlpool of a nest didn't help prolong unconsciousness; but then again I felt quite comfortable.
Tomorrow, Monday, is a test day and I make no bones about succeeding because I never have before. Despite all the best intentions and resolutions a week ago tomorrow I found myself in a room full of junkies waiting for the best dealer to switch on. And though I protest I don't want this life, unless I actually do something by myself, I'm like a prisoner rattling his chains as if that makes him more free...
O well. Tomorrow as they say is another day...
I agree that Monday is a bad day. Get all the comforts you can ready and hope for miserable weather so perhaps you can talk yourself out of going out in it. You will be able to get through it some day after all, and tomorrow could be the Monday that breaks the back of your addiction.
ReplyDeleteI echo what Jeannie wrote. And I offer you all of the snow I have around me that covers laen, deck, house, sidewalk, street, cars, etc. OK?
ReplyDeleteWishing you success facing up to Monday. One Monday at a time.
ReplyDeleteYou can have the snow that has been on our city streets for over a month if you like....
ReplyDeleteI'll be thinking of you tomorrow, I hope it is the start of you kicking your habit. x
ReplyDeleteIt snowed here today as well, actually.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the rattling!
Let's hope the snow keeps falling and carpets overnight so deeply that you can't get out your door Monday morning *!*
ReplyDeleteHave you not used for two weeks? If so, that is nothing less than magnificent. Use those chains to keep you indoors! Good luck. (I slept about 4 hours last night thanks to the head! GAH!)
ReplyDeleteI hope Tomorrow...Monday, February Second is a good day for you, for it is my 26th birthday. This is the first birthday that I'm actually wish would not happen. I do not want to grow old.
ReplyDeleteFor you, I hope you stop rattling those chains, and find the key to unlock the chains and be free. That would be a wonderful birthday present for me. We both know you can't do it for someone else, you have to do it for yourself. So do it for yourself.
Easier said than done. Fuck I can't do it myself. I'm nodding out writing this comment.
I really admire your words Glendwood...if they were to stop I would be sad. I love Brits, and I surly love my e-friend Glendwood.
Break a leg, because I believe wish someone luck in quiting H, is bad luck, so I use break a leg out there not using H, or any kind opiate.
Stay strong, as strong as you can. Read a fucking book that inspires you to write more, to give me something to read on my birthday.
happy getting clean day.
Okay, okay...I'm ending this comment. I sound like a NA meeting. Pointless. I really want the best for you. Tormented as you are.
I hope you get some pretty snow, GLeds. Will be thinking about you tomorrow - I mean today! x
ReplyDeleteI suppose the flakes melt before they touch the pavement. Fresh snow just brightens and cleans everything up, doesn't it, Gleds.
ReplyDeleteWell, yes, tomorrow is another day and I hope you survive this one. Good luck with it all.
Hi there Gleds ... I was just about to log off for the night ... did you get any snowfall overnight?
ReplyDeleteWhere are your wellies, Gleds!? :-)
ReplyDeleteJEANNIE: I had to go out in the flamin' snow... o and my incredibly bright worker's put me on daily methadone pick up ~ yeah to make staying away from dealers even harder thanks a lot Maple Syrup
ReplyDeleteNICK: Thank you: I got the snow. Loads and loads of it!!
LONEGREY: cheers but it went as expected ~ I used. In fact the chemist was shut for hours so I "had no other option" as I excused it to myself
EILEEN/REENY: the snow's here! Landed overnight and settled in a hushed blanketing carpet over everything.... hmmm
AKELAMALU: no sadly not but ta for the thoughts
ReplyDeleteCRUSHED: i did rattle a bit but fucked up right back to heroin OF COURSE... I'm me, aren't I~???
BAINO: no: 2 days I'm afraid
BIMBIMBIE: I appreciate the thought but that would also keep me from the magic methadone...
{:-<...
ANNA GRACE: NA isn't pointless (though it can be trying when people get too happyclappy touchyfeely: know what I mean. And I can't stand the hugs at the end I've fled many a meeting early just to get out of that bit I hate being touched at the best of times. Also I find "hugs not drugs" ridiculous ~ 1st time I ever had fun on drugs it WAS the Hug Drug Ecstasy!!!
ReplyDeleteHave a very happy 26th and thanks for all the thoughts I'm glad my blog speaks to someone
WELSHCAKES: we did get lovely snow
and of course I've used already ~ what can I say
PUSSINBOOTS: oddly they didn't melt this time. We got about 3 inches or maybe 4 in the night and it's been snowing (the tiniest roborovski-flakes) a lot of the day...
BIMBIMBIE: yes¬! It's probably nighttime your end now too: quarter to five pm gmt would be the dead of night in Queensland, right?
MIZPEH: no idea ~ I've not worn wellies in donkeys'!
Yep dead of night ... would have been quarter to three am, just a couple of hours before I gets up.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you are running the risk of turning into Victor Meldrew ... just don't go exclaiming "I don't believe it" when you are feeling grumpy*!*