FINALLY I FOUND THE KEY to turn my own blazing radiators off. My home is fairly clean, though scattered with stray dumpling flour. The schizophrenic next door claims the landlord was seeking me on Friday. Why can't these people leave notes like ordinary human beings. The register I signed days ago is still on the wall full of my initials.I don't know what I am supposed to write? What can I say. I only feel like death and death warmed up.
The more I think about where I've been and where I've come from the more angry I get. Living in a yard deep of rubbish obsessively collected. Sleeping on the floor, living like a wild animal, paranoid, convinced I was being spied on by miniature alien-cams. Hearing voices all the time. And all through this my idiot dolts of drugs workers took my dire physical state (I was literally falling apart on my feet) as a kind of normality. My mental state was bearly even glimpsed. When the shrink said I had been "paranoid and psychotic" I was still far too paranoid to pass on this info to somebody else. I lost out on over a year's state benefits I'm still entitled to due to "feelings of unworthiness".
Short of a miracle I will never be better than I am now. Which is not that good. Now I have to go it's a blue and white sunny day and it's making me sick.
This is from Ireland: bull in a supermarket
You sound ill Gleds, I hope your state improves m'dear. x
ReplyDeleteI believe in miracles, Gleds.
ReplyDeleteThank you I feel horrible
ReplyDeleteActually so do I believe in miracles, strangely
Aww and you've been so bright this week. Chin up Gleds. Perhaps it's your usual Sunday malaise. Do something different today. Just for shits and giggles.
ReplyDeleteI hope you're feeling better today. Stick with it, you have friends here.
ReplyDeleteOh that poor bull in the video... he must have been terrified. I don't eat meat so I felt more sorry for him than the people in his path! :D
~Actually I'd never considered it was the dreaded lurking SUNDAY. The day least holy!
ReplyDelete~Feeling better on Monday. Drugs and home-made piri piri are to blame, I'd say {;-0
Life is hard, isn't it, Gledwood? Hang in there. Things will swing up. Just ride it out. Your readers love you!
ReplyDeleteI thought you said things will swill up... I have swine flu on the brain!!
ReplyDeleteYou are funny, Gledwood. You always make me smile.
ReplyDeleteJust catching up on your posts, gledwood. I've not had a chance to do much visiting anywhere recently.
ReplyDeleteYou've been a bit up and down again, haven't you? I do believe you can get better than you are now. Try to believe that too.
That stew sounds yummy. My dumplings always tend to be a bit stodgy. I wonder if it's because I don't put them in enough liquid.
Take care, lovely boy. xx