Monday, May 24, 2010

Cool Down With Perrier

NOW HERE'S A BLAST FROM THE PAST... or ought that to be a splish-splosh-SPLASSHHH!! PERRIER WATER! Today has been roasting hot.
When it's hot in Britain everybody roasts because nothing in this country is designed for anything other than a mediocre range of temperature from about 3 degrees C to about 20. Any day outside that range feels unbearable. Unbearably hot or wutheringly cold ~ because there is no insulation against cold and worst of all no ventilation to dissipate heat.
Buses are sweat-boxes with barely-opening windows.
The Underground is unbearable. It feels well over 100 degrees F down there.
The chemists shop was boiling. I have the slightest mildest hint of a cold and like just about any sickness (apart from drug withdrawal) it is making me sleep. And sleep. And sleep and sleep and sleep all day. So I wake up cold, put my coat on.
First thing I notice on the high street is how everybody else is wearing school PE kit. (That was The Face magazine's estimation of 1980s British summer fashion ~ lurve it!) And I'm in my junkie's long coat with lots of pockets.
I get to the chemist without sweating. Bring the methadone home. In my old area, which was far more junkie-ridden I would never walk down the street with methadone bottle in hand, even shrouded in pharmacy bag, because everyone who would know knew what was in that bag and I was once violently accosted by a crazed woman (who I knew) DEMANDING that I GIVE.
Thing was, (I wasn't just saying telling her this; it was true) it was not my chemist, not my dose.
I had just undergone the third degree to prove yes I WAS supposed to be collecting this prescription, gone through all this stress just to help out a sick friend. (Heroin addicts very rarely get ill, but when they do it lingers on and on...)
And methadone clinics don't really seem to be oriented around the fact that their "clients" might not be in optimum health, which can make organizing methadone collection when you're too sick to go in an absolute nightmare. Anyway this silly hag harangues me and in the end I just walked off.
She threatened all sorts of stuff and I told her to do her worst.
This particular crazywitch is an Irish traveller and she's always threatening her brothers on people. What she does not realize is, I know her mother from times of old. Her Mum used to give me 50p every time she saw me in my begging years. I was told she liked me because I was so unlike her scummy daughter...
Anyway!
All day I have been craving... Water! Fizzy water!! I could have bought fizzed up tap water at 10p for 2 litres from Morrisons (packaging says something like "value sparkling water": no mention of minerals or springs which means it's just tap water, filtered and CO2'd! Consumer tellyprogs like to make out this would be a "con". To me it's a lesson not to make assumptions!
Anyhow, in the end I purchased 75 "centilitres" as they like to call them ~ a centilitre being 10mls of Perrier. Good old yummy perrier volcanic water that if it weren't treated would taste of rotten eggs ~ so we all heard in the benzene PR disaster of yesteryear... "fortified with gas from the spring"... there's something yummy in that gas, for Perrier tastes nothing like any other water I know... Plus it's a real blast back to the 1970s and 80s, when, in Britain at least, Perrier was the only mineral water widely available and the idea of actually paying for bottled water, when our own taps ran freely with eaux potables was sheer anathema to the frugal Brits... Anyway. Further to yesterday's FUTILITY, here is Wilfred Owen's most famous work. The title Dulce et Decorum est refers to a Latin phrase of the time: "it is a sweet and noble thing to die for one's country"...


Dulce et Decorum est

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs,
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots,
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame, all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of gas-shells dropping softly behind.

Gas! GAS! Quick, boys! -- An ecstasy of fumbling
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time,
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime. --
Dim through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams before my helpless sight
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams, you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin,
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs
Bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues, --
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori.


Wilfred Owen 1893-1918


Greatest war poet of his generation. Died aged 25... what a loss...



Reminds me of the old song: Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile...


17 comments:

  1. I try not to buy bottled water. I put some tap water in a bottle, shove it in the freezer and voila! Bottled water. Tastes no different to the other stuff to me...

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  2. Good grief man you're all over the place with this one! I can't afford Perrier! What comes out of the tap will have to do. Oh and to answer your question (because you never read your email!) Hamsters are indeed illegal in Australia, I had mine when I was a sprog in Manchester. And a margarita is basically tequila, triple sec ice and lemon juice. Blended into a frappe and served in a salt rimmed glass . .bloody awesome!

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  3. I never buy bubbly water. Maybe I should for a treat. I don't often buy bottled water at all but many do - not trusting our local water which is fine although without filtering at home it tastes of chlorine.

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  4. Pussinboots: I think the most popular brand here is Volvic. It tastes of nothingness (as opposeed to chlorinated nothingness). I can definitely tell the difference 'tween mineral or spring and tap...

    Baino: Am I that all over the place today... compared to other days..?
    Ho-humm, but margaritas sound pretty good though. Far more palatable at 6:46 than White Star cyder.....รก

    Jeannie: personally I prefer Value 10p/2L fizzy, even if it's NOT spring, it tastes OK and I know it's "nutritionally" OK..!! Low in fat and sugar, no artificial colourings ~~~haha!!

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  5. I like club soda but don't buy Perrier unless I get a bargain at Costco. Glad that you are up and about. Take care.

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  6. ps Perrier was 99p for 750mls; as against Value fizzy at 10p for 2 litres ~ a huge community saving, I know but Value ain't available from the local shop :-{)

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  7. Hi Syd you commented while I was online inside this commentary box and some "cookies" failed to alert me, as I believe the operative expression ought to be...

    what was that?

    does "club soda" mean just anybrand pop? the cheapo lemonade we get here is usually OK but you have to use discretion, orange usually OK, other flavas can be dreadful, i would rather just the sodawater without poisons drilled inside!!

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  8. That's a cute photo of the soldiers, Gledds.

    Tennyson was a pretty great war poet, too.

    Hope your Mum is feeling better.

    Love you,

    SB

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  9. I do have holes in my socks LOL although not bloody (yet, thank God). :D I must have mentioned twice I'd ran the 10K but I've only ran it once. I do have a 5K this weekend (and I have to push the boys).

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  10. The only time I buy bottled water is when I'm abroad, otherwise I drink tap water which oop north is nice and soft. :)

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  11. So it's been a little warm in the UK? I looked at your forecast for today and it didn't seem too bad so must have improved. The high I saw for London was 15 deg C. That would seem a little chilly to me. Here in the Midwest Wasteland, the high is forecast to be 28 deg C. Tomorrow is going to be 30 deg C which is pretty warm compared to what it has been. Why no AC in the UK? In the States, there is an abundance of air conditioners. My old truck has an AC unit that could cool a small house. I even have a window AC unit some prior tenant left behind at my craphole of an apartment. I just shove it in the window, plug it in, turn it on high and enjoy the frosty goodness. The damn thing makes some noise, but that noise is music to my ears when the temp soars above 30 deg C and it will. As you might say, it's quite posh. Well enjoy the fizzy water and stay cool.

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  12. SarcBast: didn't you post up some things about trains? I have a thing about trains. they are amazing

    here i have a train link, except the bloody computer will not copy it you swine you SWINE i tell you!! bloody computer!!!!

    yeah i like too. tennyson war poet? you sure?! you don't mean rupert brooke "if I should die think only this of me ~ that there's some far corner of a foreign field that is forever England"... that one that's rupert brooke... also siegfried sassoon was meant to be good, but wilfred owen, to me at least, wrote far more memorable stuff. he had real poetic greatness and it is such a shame he died aged 25 ~ the only true rival i can think of to t.s. eliot

    7: you are running FIVE KILOMETRES pushing a pram?!? Wow!!

    Ake: Aye, when I came from Wales, tut Water in London were FAR FAR FAR too hard for mi taaaerst I'll tell yer that fer nowt! Aye, I will! I get tut impression Australian tap water's far more fragrant than ours down South, aye, ferras fer me, if I had tut dosh and cerd bi bothered, aye, I'd drink Volvic all't time too! Aye that I would!! (Or summut...)

    Mols: that air con sounds cool enough to cool down an entire multicolour bunting-ridden donkey-derby jamboree, aye that ti does! And I heard that America now spends more on COOLING in summer than heating in winter!

    And I heard that various tropical countries have banned the ridiculous western business suit in fava of proper robes and sht ~ i would go for robes if i was out there, i tell ya. Anyway, they've banned western dress because it is THAT that is ruining the environment, forcing people to turn on air con far too high when basicaly they could dress sensibly... and also build sensible houses! In Southern Europe houses are made of stone with large shutters etc etc. They are cool in summer. American houses seem to be made out of polystyrene and be swelteringly HOT, hence the whacking gut-wrenching permusqua, so ~~ aye! Trotterdonkes and horses in the stocks I must go now butr jibbery mcQuollox to you all and happy her majesty's birthday, ahoy!!

    15C are you kidding?! maybe they mean 15C HOTTER THAN USUAL!...!!!

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  13. I prefer Sanpellegrino. I know, who cares right?

    Also, I found England to be extremely stuffy (as far as the air is considered). There is just simply no A/C. When I was there this time a couple of years ago it was NUTS I tells ya NUTS.

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  14. I love hot weather because it's so rare here. I don't care that I sweat and I don't mind being too hot, because it won't last and people are kinder in lovely weather.

    Mind you, being too hot in a crowd of people makes me claustrophobic.

    Wilfred Owen was wonderful and his death was a tragedy. But so was everyone's in that dreadful war. I live in a tiny village and 25 men died in the first world war. I listen to the Roll of Honour being read out every year and it makes me grieve.

    I'm mildly pissed, darling - in the drunken sense - don't mind me...

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  15. REENY: re air-con ~ I know I know I KNOW I TELL YOU I KNOW!~!~!!!

    still ain't got a clue who this sasparillo guy might be tho...

    Z: aye, yer all right! I did read your comment days ago when you posted it but I must've been rather drunken, too, for I THOUGHT I had replied here, but no... so I do apologize

    there is a war memorial down the road from me... names names names
    of course reading down we all know or have known people with similar names and can imagine what those people might have been like... if only they'd lived past age TWENTY-FIVE
    it's so so sad

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  16. Reens: hey I thought Sanpellengrino was a type of twirly pasta..(?!?)

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