Sunday, January 16, 2011

Off

I'M SWITCHING OFF. I'm sick to death of any talk of how I feel and what has happened and what it might or might not be and blah blah blah it's all too much, I'm fed up, I feel sick and tired and still not well and I've had enough. I said I would do a drink diary I don't mind posting that. The mood thing I might go on trying it online for a day or two but I feel too exposed too nauseated too confused to be posting stuff about what was basically the nastiest thing that has ever happened to me. Now I'm switching this machine off; it has been glaring at me all day between lots of other things that were basically just time-wasting. I have to find a life somewhere and I won't find it online.
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9 comments:

  1. Ms. Moon16 January 2011 at 18:14

    Well, we'll be here if you change your mind. Be well as possible and I mean it.

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  2. the guy in the silk taffeta dress16 January 2011 at 18:15

    There's nothing wrong with taking a break.
    all the best,
    j.

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  3. Baino16 January 2011 at 18:58

    Well shit Gleds. That's two of my favourite bloggers gone in the same weekend. I hope you rethink. Come back when you're ready. You will be missed.

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  4. Welshcakes Limoncello16 January 2011 at 20:31

    Yes, come back when you're ready. Thinking of you, Gleds. xx

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  5. E. London Grl-Jen16 January 2011 at 22:59

    Gleds please, if you switch off, come back, and please please please at least keep up with your email. There are people that really wish to keep in touch with you, like myself, and I know you can't please others while not pleasing yourself....please just know that you do help so many, perhaps without realising it...I have your email now, and will use it. And by the way, Trisch died of carbon monoxide poisoning...I saw the 'tribute' you did to her in your post for Saturday.
    Take care of yourself, and please stay in touch...and even if you keep your blogger account open, why don't you come to it just whenever you feel like it & leave it at that? Then at least you won't feel like you have to come here to blog...
    Anyways, wishing you nothing but the best...
    Jen

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  6. Anonymous17 January 2011 at 00:29

    A break will do you good. Hope you keep updating now and again to let us know how you're doing.

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  7. Gledwood17 January 2011 at 00:58

    i was on a real downer all evening all night so bad i couldn't face walking in my own house i just stayed outside and avoided people i will explain why tomorrow it was annoying enough just being alive let alone ... something else

    it annoys me when they call me intelligent in clinics etc as if addicts are thick what they cannot do in general is connect to their feelings because they don't fucking WANT to that's why they are using hard drugs!

    i noticed there were very few blogs that gave details on using addicts' lives, more clean ones than absolutely lost in the middle of it ones which is exactly what i was when i started blogging

    what i am usually trying to do is keep a memory of that day or the day before depending when i post from the perspective of that moment it is written, it is not meant to be a huge analysis of me, which is what it looked and felt like.

    i found myself repeating stuff i didn't really want to speak about at all, not only speaking about it but to however many people a lot of whom i have no idea who they are, as if it didn't do my head in enough i have that and that is what i couldn't do any more

    i can still blog but it's this mood diary as i said i will try putting it online but if i can't do that then i can't

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  8. Syd18 January 2011 at 04:03

    I think that it's good to write thoughts here or in a journal. I do both. The more personal stuff goes in a journal.

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  9. Gledwood18 January 2011 at 05:10

    I am not v good at making a dichotomy like that i'd rather post it all here with provisos written in so i don't get misinterpreted

    it's stuff like saying "i have had depression on and off since age 10" that get tiring because it makes it look like i obsess on that when all i'm doing is stating fact to somebody, anybody anywhere, who wouldn't necessarily know, no matter how many times that has been stated before. because that single post may be all they brought up via google.

    i think it's bad blogging to assume everyone follows and remembers and retains everything about you because that's not how the bloggosphere works you know

    and i get a LOT more readers than commenters sometimes i know i do

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