NOT AS DRAMATIC as the illustration, thank God, namely because I wasn't wearing it when it caught light. I was using said shirt as an oven glove, when ~ DURRR! ~ may I say in mitigation I've got used to retarted electric hotplates and now I've got gas? ~ flames from the top ring set off a smokey smell that made me think "Oo: Mornings in Goa!" (where they burn rubbish nightly on great heaps, so refuse is still smouldering merrily by morning). Then I realized whacking great flames were spouting out, so I had to douse the whole lot in my foot-deep Ikea washing up bowl. Thankfully my trayful of Iceland's best Diddly Crispy Potatoes was spared...MY LANDLORD, most annoyingly, sent round henchmen the other day. Whenever they come round it's 99 times out of 100 on a timewasting expedition
and this was no exception. "My friend! I am fitting buzzer!" So now we have a totally unwanted doorbell system and have a totally useless noise-maker in my room. Useless because one thing I rapidly learned on moving from country (where I grew up) to towns and city (where I've spent my adult life) is that ANYONE who approaches your front door without first telephoning (or, in emergency, yelling your name) is an utter timewaster. My "noisemaker" is now rendered 100% useless because the batteries are sitting on the sideboard waiting for a more worthy appliance...The only interesting aspect to all this is that unlike
old-stylee doorbells which required extensive wiring, this one's radio-controlled. Which I thought might be lots of fun to hide it in the neighbour's front garden and set it off whenever they come home or... I dunno. Can anybody think up a better practical joke?And that's about it, newswise. O yeah and I've a full-on multistorey trottery now, thanks to various cut-open PG Tips tea boxes... yep and that's it. Here's some dregs from St Patrics day I pulled because I didn't want them sharing a post with my Gran:
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, A QUESTION TO ALL YOU ST PADDY'S CELEBRATORS from IrishSayings.com
An bhfuil tú ar meisce fós?(It means, "Are you drunk yet?")
OH DUR!!!! I 4got to tell yers about the baby furry mouse.... T'will have ter wait till 2morro...
QUEEN: A KIND OF MAGIC
This is me last Freddy Mercury vid for a while, now I've posted up most of the best they've done...
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