Thursday, April 12, 2007

Regicide

THAT'S RIGHT. LAST NIGHT I KILLED ROYALTY. It was a Queen wasp to be precise. Last year I had a nest right along the eves where I live. At c.4am, attracted by my light (which always stays on; I'm v often awake at that hour) and able to infiltrate my never-quite-shutting properly sash window through the middle or the bottom these horrible blighters entered my room with an ominous buzz and proceeded to persecute me by divebombing the naked lightbulb. It was impossible to ignore them; every so often they would smack into the ceiling for no apparent reason and drop to the floor. I had no intention of getting stung and so armed myself with a newspaper (when I was too broke to buy chemical weapons) or (ideally) cockroach spray. (Why the cockroach version? This works on wasps and roaches; fly spray doesn't kill cockroaches very effectively at all. It's too weak. A direct hit of cockroach spray can zap a wasp in five seconds, which is far quicker than fly spray. It's the indirect hits you have to be careful of when the buzzing gets lower, the evil sting-with-wings circles haplessly, threatening to crash into you until you zap it yet again. And the room stinks of insect killer. I had weeks on end of this experience until finally the weather got too cold and I was sincerely hoping the entire colony had been wiped out. This seems now not to be the case. Hardly being an expert on the life-cycle of the common ("yellowjacket") wasp I looked this all up on Google and was told in late autumn new Queens emigrate from the colony setting up home elsewhere. The original Queen remains behind with most of the workers. All the workers die. Next spring she wakes (supposedly alone, according to "expert" sites) and sets about founding a new colony; chewing paper, laying new eggs, etc ... The old nest is always abandoned.

So why this plague of enormous wasps? They are not hornets. The European hornet is about the same size as these monsters but markedly brown-&-yellow in coloration whereas these are black-&-yellow. These look exactly the same as the wasps I had last autumn (I killed enough to know!) except they're nearly twice as big in some cases ...

What is the meaning of this plague?? Already I have killed two Queens in the last month. A third flew in during the day but fortunately left via my then-open window. Am I going to have five nests in buzzing distance of my bed come next autumn? Please no!!

14 comments:

  1. This is my back-to-English translation of the comment I left on http://karholdrio.blogspot.com's blog just now. I had to put it somewhere just for posterior'ity.


    Babel Fish Translation Help

    In English:
    You know people would say nowadays that those women were fat! What uneven standards the industry of the beauty has! I absolutely found his blog by accident to intention, chascando that following button of blog upon the cover. I cannot really follow the words but the pictures seem pleasant. I also do blog: Gledwood vol. 2 (http://gledwood2.blogspot.com) you are most of the reception to pay a visit to me and to have a push through my secret newspaper in line! Also you can be that she can advise to me in my giant problem of the wasps. I watch ahead at its visit without delay. Of its English friend, Gledwood

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  2. Alo alo amigo inglès quieres t escribo en español porq tu lo hiciste ;) y t agradezco la visita y la sorpresa...regresare a ver, leer y comentar sobre tu problema de las avistas

    besos desde Mèxico

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  3. «The original Queen remains behind with most of the workers. All the workers die.» [...] «Already I have killed two Queens in the last month.» :)

    Please, don´t You kill Your Queen... She seems to be a fine old Lady...
    And I am a monarchic... ;)

    Cheers!

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  4. Karhol: translation to English=

    Alo alo friend inglès you want t I write in Spanish porq your you did it;) and t I thank for the visit and the surprise... will return to see, to read and to comment on your problem of you sight them

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  5. Clearly it is a much more hospitable environment within your walls than..er..without. (You know what I mean.) Perhaps you should try not being so attractive to the Queens. (Nope, that didn't sound right, either)

    Oh well. Hells bells. Ta-ta and many thanks for visiting the mindfulthings, Brave Sir Gledwood.

    clip clop clip clop

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  6. Hello,
    Beautifully writen indeed. Very unique in style, I wish I have a skills like yours.

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  7. these animals can be very dangerous...in France when there is a nest somewhere we call the fire-men, they have special equipment to get rid of them...be careful...
    mum mousie always frightened her little boy gets wounded!
    love dear...

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  8. Mousie: don't worry I will be careful. I don't have anything to do with these creatures unless they come in. Then I spray them. Trying to get them to fly out of a window that doesn't even open at the top is a hopeless business at 4 in the morning when it is pitch dark ...

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  9. Evil Spock had his Evilness assaulted on two occasions pedalling his pushbike last year, no?

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  10. Assaulted by WASPS, that is ...

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  11. I thought I had an agreement with the wasp denizens at my home and office. I don't bother them; they don't bother me. Until I got stung by two wasps (or got stung twice by one). Now all bets are off. If I see them or any evidence of them, I kill them. So much for my Buddhist ethics.

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  12. ***k Buddhism / **** ethixx. If they're threatening to dive-bomb me as I reside in my bead ... bead? bed -- they are Dead Meat !!

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  13. Bumblebees are starting to appear down here...the size of small cars. What's going on...global warming?

    Keep up the good work, my man!

    Yours truly

    Grumpy.

    ReplyDelete

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