RESIST RESIST RESIST. I must resist. I have £20 in my pocket and do not wish to score. Except I do. If I do I will obtain 1. a smug sense of security, knowing the dealer is coming. 2. a smug sense of security knowing I have heroin. 3. enough heroin for 2 or 3 "hits" ... meaning 2 or 3 times I can spend half an hour looking everywhere on my damaged, bruised-up, bloodstained body for some section of vein willing to take a gloopy, acidified brown heroin hit (which is a hobby in itself these days) knowing that 4. if I do actually get it in a vein that holds it (instead of blowing, leaking or simply missing - there's not much by way of veins left these days I may experience for about 30 seconds to 2 minutes a pleasant warm feeling of the drug in my system and 5... supposedly i will feel better for that. Except most probably I won't feel that amazing. If anything (and if I let myself stay still) I might well fall into a dull, dopey sleep that feels no more special than natural non-drug-induced sleep... so in other words I am addicted to scoring, far more than to the drugs themselves. What am I going to do?
Oh yeah. My vision in a carrier bag.
Here's what happened. I woke up early. Nothing doing (it was about 6 or 7 a.m.) It was light outside. Ahead of me was a black carrier bag on the side. I looked at it again and a face appeared on the side of the bag. A ghostly "Jesus"-like face. (At least it reminded me of Jesus as portrayed by Roman Catholic/etc iconography.) The face remained steadily there, staring back at me. I looked away and back. Still there. Then it smiled at me in an awful smirk. So I looked away again. And when I next looked back all that remained of this vision was the random pattern of white light reflecting on a crumpled, crinkly, black plastic bag ...
OK here's YOUR vision of the day. Do click on this one, for it's fantastic:
Amazing Bunny Rabbit Letter Opener
Don't score Gleds, buy some food or something to wear, anything but heroin please.
ReplyDeleteI think the vision on the carrier bag was a message for you.
I add my voice to akelamalu's. "DO NOT SCORE". I may be naive but if the anticipation of the score is what attracts you and not the drugs itself, perhaps you can spend that money on something that gives you a healthy high. transfer the excitement to a healthy activity...one that you enjoy. Don't score, gleds, please.
ReplyDeleteakelamalu: yeah maybe he wasn't "smirking" at me, that was my reaction to it... there is a word for when you can achieve that effect with light it's called scrying - it's the same thing crystal ball readers do
ReplyDeletesquirrel: don't worry i haven't yet
I say blow off the heroin and score shrooms instead. They are natural, self regulating, longer lasting, less likely to put you on the street and they do a bang-up job of killing hunger pains. It would also facilitate a more gentle transition to a life without drugs. You could also try god-mongering instead of drugs but that costs more money than heroin and god-mongers are not a whole lot of fun to be around. Not that I have anything in the world against god addicts, they are just a little bit too self absorbed and overly concerned about the afterlife for my tastes. Not that there’s anything wrong with that either. One of my best friends is a Christian. Is it ok to call them Christians these days? If not, I apologize for not keeping up with cultural trends.
ReplyDeleteyou mean the compulsary donations to the rolls royce fund? i see wot u mean ...
ReplyDeletedon't pick up gled! put the needle down...
ReplyDeletesmiles, bee
RESIST RESIST RESIST! Please resist we will all be sooo proud of you if you do resist.
ReplyDeleteoh my god I totally know what you mean, its the thrill of the hunt/score. I actually make myself sick to point of throwing up with aniticipation when Im about to score blow. Crazy. And the whole $20 in the pocket, you sit there and think man it would feel so good. Its only aftrwards when ur coming down do realize what you SHOULD of done with that $20.
ReplyDeleteStay strong, you know what you should. Thats what I keep telling myself.
thanks for the encouragement, peeps!
ReplyDeleteThese days, I am all about dreams, probable realities, adventures in different concisenesses, life after we depart, reincarnations—all of it. I figure it's an adventure to let my mind wander amongst these unknown things so why not? It's like a chemical-less acid trip.
ReplyDeleteSo I am loving the dream. I bet the face in the bag is someone you know from a past life! Although why he has come all this way to just smile at you I do not know.
Of course I am about 75% joking. But the other 25% percent thinks there is a message there.
Thanks for stopping by. You somewhat pulled me out of a rut and now I'm back to blog hopping again and paying my respects to my friends all about. Glad you liked the Moxie Video. That dog is the cutest dog I have ever seen. And as you know, i see a great many dogs. Did you see that happy smile he had at the end of the video?
Well, it looks like you didn't from the next post so congratulations. Love the bunny letter opener - I want one!
ReplyDelete