CHAOS IN MY HOUSE. Not only is the front door smashed in yet again (Laundretta got locked out drunk), but for the past couple of days she has been staggering up and down the hallways at night in the dark (a little like a drunken human prostitute minotaur) wailing and hollering and yelling accusations at her boyf, Matran.
It all came to a head yesterday when she smashed the back stairs window with a sink plunger... leaving the kind of plunger-shaped hole that you couldn't do if you tried a million times...
Yes chaos rules again.
Evilstein went slightly mad about that and Mat and L's television being left outside their room for two months and claimed we all have to clear up because the council are coming round today. Frankly I don't believe that but hid my robbies and made everything look a bit smart.
I actually went out and purchased some memoirs to use as an inspirational template for mine... and reading through came to the unsurprising conclusion that yes I will have to novelize the entire thing. Ukk.
This means telling your life story as if it was a novel ie with dialogue and descriptions laid out in the traditional format... which is kind of hard to do when it's your own truth... and such dialogue, though it pulls in the focus crystal sharp and close... is inherently untruthful because as we all know it is NOT the exact dialogue from the time.... ho-hum. But you gotta live to convention. Otherwise you end up in prison.
I'm going to mess about on the internet and then will have another go at memoiring later on tonight so wish me luck again... I shall aim to complete two whole pages today! Woo!
***
I think I picked out two TOP tunes today!
1. Sinitta - Cross My Broken Heart... you poor Americans on the far side of the pond... you don't know what you're missing not having charts full of Europop... (And Sinitta IS American by the way!!)
2. Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood. I've no idea whatsoever WHAT Clint Eastwood has to do with this song. But that's the title. Hmmmmmmm......
And my 2 other vids:
3. Paris Hilton and Madonna munching sandwiches in the park...
4. Britney Bitch Revisited...***
Blog recommendation of the day:
The Captain's Blog. From HMS Somerset Royal Navy warship. Or frigate. Or whatever they call it. But it's a big grey metallic ship full of weapons. Designed for going out in times of conflict and kicking "arse"...
(http://www.hms-somerset-co.blogspot.com)
reminder to self:
ReplyDeletehttp://thailandgal.blogspot.com
What kind of comments u like, actually?
ReplyDeleteI'm new here and still roam, need directions...
My Quirk Factor is 90%
ReplyDeleteYou're beyond quirky... You're downright bizarre.
You've lost touch with social norms and what's appropriate. And you're loving every minute of it!
HEY...I resemble that remark! haha
I don't see why you have to novelize your memoirs just because that's what you've found others have done. (If this is what you are saying—I could be wrong) Why not wait for the film or television people to do that after they pay you the big money for your story? Why not tell it the way you see it and the way you want to? This is, after all, how new ideas make their way into the public consciousness!
ReplyDeleteWAYWARD: No no by novelizing I mean you tell the truth, but each scene is constructed in exactly the same way and using the same techniques a novelist uses...
ReplyDeleteif you DON't do this you would tend to end up with pages and pages of I would do this we used to do that... you know slightly blurry-feeling and far more tiring to read and harder to focus upon. my one point of resentment is that i would have to recreate dialogue in a way that obviously wasn't LITERALLY the words spoken, but as good as... any biography or autobiography you read is full of this. It's a technique one is expected to use and I don't mind doing it, it's just, as I say, making up dialogue ... feels a little like I'm dramatizing it up and I don't really NEED to do that, do I?
the other thing about dialogue is it propells the narative forward and it's quite important for that reason, too
CALISTA: what do you mean?
ReplyDeleteJIM: how on earth did you get 90% - were you lying to appear more quirkky? I went thru the q'aire again to TRY and be as quirky as poss and scored 100!!
Oh poo!!! even lying Im only 69% quirky, think I will definitely work on ringing more quirk into my life..........it sounds like fun.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately Im having trouble with youtube videos on my comp at the moment so cant comment on the ones youve posted tonight.
Keep that pen flowing across that paper. I like the way you write and find it interesting and leaves me wanting more.
Going to visit The captainblog now so I can learn to kick ass too in a quirky sort of way
Leaving people wanting more is definitley something I'm good at... hardly writing anything!!
ReplyDeleteBut I GOTTA get it done. Gotta finish this damn book by Christmas!
gled...I'm with wws - I don't think you need to adhere to any kind of structure with this...do what feels natural and just let it flow. I'm sure it'll be much more interesting that way. Like you do with your blog...that's what keeps people coming back - you have your own unique style of presenting yourself and that's obviously quite intriguing as people return for more.
ReplyDeleteoh and I wonder if that really is Madonna and Paris...somehow I don't think so.
ReplyDeleteI love the Gorillaz. :)
I mean,
ReplyDeletemaybe u r annoyed by certain type of comment.
Because of everything I learn about u, my instinct tells me to talk u out of bad things, then to "proselytize" about health, clear mind, spirit, faith...
Maybe u hate it. That's why I ask.
Debs: 1st things 1st: Paris Hilton... I thought that was a pretty close impersonation of the voice... Madonna's voice isn't as gratey as that in real life... I wonder what the piece was shot for? BC they obviously had fairly professional sound equipment etc... I thought it was for one of those American late night comedy shows
ReplyDeleteo my poor book... do you think i could write the whole thing bloglike... it has to go on for 200 pages... i'm scared of losing the plot (literally)
actually i'm thinking of going into town to get a book on memoirs writing (or biography writing) just to give top tips.
but a lotta those kind of books i find hopelessly patronizing... they're by people who never really made it in their field even though their work ticks every box and the worst have a real "do it my way" attitude that i find so repellant
the gorillaz are something though aren't they i think they are a superstars band made up of people from all different pop groups or something like that the only one i know is the vocalist damon albarn from blur
Calista: oh i see what you mean let me ponder the point tho
NOTE TO SELF
ReplyDeleteWWW.LIFEBIO.COM
"WRITING AUTOBIOGRAPHY"
My quirk factor is 82%...beyond quirky...downright bizarre. Charming.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of bizarre, where do you get these peculiar questionnaires from? Notice that we can't resist them, though.
Click on the bottom... you should get a list of alternatives like "what kind of rock bitch are you?" etc... try and click on these and well I can't get 'em... so google "blogthings" + whatever q'aire subject you're after
ReplyDelete64%
ReplyDeleteYou're so quirky, it's hard for you to tell the difference between quirky and normal.
No doubt about it, there's little about you that's "normal" or "average."
Evil Spock is an excellent cook!
You're a top cook, but you weren't born that way. It's taken a lot of practice, a lot of experimenting, and a lot of learning.
It's likely that you have what it takes to be a top chef, should you have the desire...
i don't know why it is called clint eastwood either it is attention grabbing and memorable maybe that is why.. the likelyhood we will ever know is about as probably as a blur reunion... oh wait... that's happening..
ReplyDeleteThe Beast is an excellent cook ,I am also 65% quirky. Iam off to make Fray Bentos pie kebabs to fullfill both of the above.
ReplyDeleteYou know it makes sense
Beast: Fray Bentos... isn't that a town on the Uraguay/Paraguay-border..? O I always say that
ReplyDeleteJason: Or a spice girls reunion. Ugh.
Evil: I wonder if they do a "what Star Trek character are you named after?" quiz... & what you would be..?
Love your quirk factor. Mine was You're a pretty quirky person, but you're just normal enough to hide it.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations - you've fooled other people into thinking you're just like them!
LOL
Love the Madonna movie....now if only I could watch it on this stupid slow connection :(
tea
xo
p.s.
The wasp killer was my husband
my connections are really bad too. because i think it is broadband of the lowest type ... divided by 30 as am in cybercaff ... in otherwords probably 20% WORSE than dial-up!!
ReplyDelete