Saturday, February 23, 2008

The Feeling Vial <:-o

I USE THE ABOVE PUN ADVISEDLY as today I've been feeling vile. Only some people I used to know broke open (prescribed) pharmaceutical vials several times daily to shoot up in their groins... what is called an "injectable script". One, who a decade ago and before this drugs stuff totally got to me in my own infection injection habituated way, had me calling the (then) "National Drugs Helpline" (0800 77 66 00) (now it's called Frank; "talk to Frank"... and on the same number...) (Frank's online "A-Z of drugs"; click here...) and saying "my friend is prescribed
Dexedrine (pharmaceutical speed whence the "rock" group "Dexys Midnight Runners"...) and this doctor must KNOW she is injecting it in her groin... is it not possible to get injectable dexedrine on private prescription?" And the lady (they think they know everything about drugs after a month's training but don't. One confidently declared Valium to be an opiate. Another had not heard of injecting crack (the other aspect of my friend's behaviour that drove me to distraction. Why take such a massive risk to your health injecting that stuff when it's been specially washed to smoke on a pipe..?)... the lady said there was nothing anyone could do. Inectable speed is not available on prescription; only those pills. And though they are well aware their patients are "banging them up" and killing themselves the doctors carry on with these presciptions... I was utterly scandalized and despaired ever more... What can you do? And then I realized you cannot "save" an addict, no matter what or how bizarre or ridiculous their behaviour. There is nothing you can do except be there for them when finally they are ready to stop. She never stopped until finally the day came when Dexedrine pills, crack injections and methadone amps (plus ketamine at weekends) all injected into the crook (very top: bikini-line) of her thighs where the vein is finger-thick... but not thick enough, so it seems, to so continuously take all those chalky Dexedrines... and so she lost her leg. I was utterly gutted for her: but by that time I myself had plunged down the toilet too... there was nothing I could do for her.

So she now lives alone, using a wheelchair, no longer on methadone, (injectable or otherwise) nor dexedrine nor ketamine but still smoking the odd pipe on the crack. I know this as our oldest crack dealer accosted me with his new number a couple of years ago saying this woman had been asking after me. She used to be my best friend for a short time but in the end I just could not handle hearing her pain. And she literally was screaming in pain sometimes, at the abuse and ill-treatment she'd received in the past... it was not my job to save her and I got badly hurt.

Yes I have been feeling nasty all day. I went to the drug service drop-in, where they know me, and described my skirmishes with barbiturates that, further research has confirmed have to all intents and purposes left me with second-degree chemical burns on my back thigh. No wonder it hurts. Those drugs are, so I discovered so strongly alkaline they can destroy the flesh... which is nearly what they did to me... Never in all my years have I seen damage so extreme (a "local soft tissue 'reaction'" so I was diagnosed. "Reaction"~?? You can say that again! Not from a single botched injection (though I'm not even sure it WAS botched: it went straight in: just really hurt at the time... and of course more so afterwards...) Most abscesses I've seen are far smaller than that. It's horrible. Ukky. And has put me off a lot of things.

I'm living life in "senior review"...

Though I am glad to have my tiny tubbies trotting away on their wheel like fat old gremlins... they bring sunlight to my shadowy life... never had such enduring entertainment for the tiny sum of £23!

Have a great weekend, everyone... take care!

G
xx


ps who sent me the hamster dance on youtube? the url?? there's several hamster dances as it's the name of that squeaky song (I think) but I would really like to see the one you pointed out to me... having viewed back and back and sought it out over and over again through my comments I CANNOT FIND the url you posted me... could you please post me again in a comment under this post here? I'd be ever so grateful. Many thanks!

Link: Methadone Amps vs Diamorphine Amps comparison... (on grounds of cost)

Link II: Peter McDermott (probably Britain's top drugs counsellor)'s basic heroin/methadone/opiates/-oids factsheet...

9 comments:

  1. Just keep watching those tiny tubbies turning out the sunshine :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, you're giving lots of information about the realities. Just you try to keep going, and healing too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I like that phrase'Im living life in senior review'.....

    Keep enjoying the hammies Gleds and great pieces of writing these past few posts...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh, your poor friend and poor you! But I think you're amazing. YOu WILL come through it, Gleds. Love from Sicily x

    ReplyDelete
  5. Bloody Nora Gleds, TAKE CARE ... those hammies need YOU x *!*

    ReplyDelete
  6. That one cannot save an addicted is a damned hard lesson to learn. It took me over two years and more money than I want to think about to learn that lesson. And still, even being aware of that truth, I am sadder about failing in my attempts to save her than upset with myself for trying.

    I am glad for us that you have your tiny tubbies—and I have my kitty. They are wonderful friends.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anon: Imagine if the sun really could shine out of their tubby bums? I managed to grab Baby Itchy right by the tiny tag-tail the other day:~ oh! was she offended...! You'd have thought I'd successfully managed to sexually interfere with her. Not just grabbed her tiny white ultra~miniaturized rabbit-tuft of a tail!

    Tut-tut: No option but to keep going and my body fortunately heals itself so... know whatteyemean~??~(??)~??.~?

    Auds: do you really think it is good? I feared everyone would hate me for telling the truth you know how it goes... too much mental pus: probably offputting for some ..(???~???)~???.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Welshcakes: Cheers Dears... I wanna come outta this 2~legged, tho... I really do...

    Bimbimbie: "bloody Norah!"~?? well put~!!

    SometimesSaintly...: Can't save an addict... that's too, too true... no and PEOPLE they are the ALLTIME WORST. EsPECIALLY nowadays. NASTY business. Nasty nasty NASTY~!!!

    :-<...

    yeah tiny tubbies are my tiny trotting entertainers... very much worth the money and enormous out~of~the~way treck involved in getting them (shop could not comprehend WHY anybody would travel such a very long way right across London just for rare miniature Mongolian hamsters when you can get Siberian hamsters (which are totally different) almost anywhere... well I WANTED ROBBIES!! So glad I perservered and got them... shop had even told me there was only 1 left on the phone... AND tried to put me off coming to their branch and tried to get me to come elsewhere and everything... SO glad I perservered else I'd have NO Spherical, Bashful or Itchy! (Who is far less itchy now... I am hoping mites have fled from the site of her.. or whatever fungal infestation or plain old nervousness or whatever it was...)

    ReplyDelete
  9. PS; Nick: I just had a waking daydream about you riding through New York City on the back of a magnificent white horse... have you ever done this...~??

    ;->...

    ReplyDelete

For legal reasons, comments that incite hatred, racism, issue threats or include personal contact information will be deleted.