IT'S ALL CHAOS at Gledwood Towers. Laundretta's gran died at the weekend and Matran's been taken away by family troubles of his own. She bought me drinks yesterday. I supped too quickly and was soon drunk. Then I got all emotional too.My gremlins have gone to their tartan bag as protection from Evilstein the landlord. I thought I was doing them a big favour by adding long clingfilm tubes and other bits and bobs into their realm.
In my exhaustion I fell into a profound slumber for several hours only to be disturbed by a distrought Laundretta phoning and then repeated honks and squeakings from my gremlins' trottery.
The tartan bag is now right in front of me (I'm writing this at the witching hour of the night but posting around 2:30pm) Spherical is cantering away on her wheel; Itchy pinging round and round and in and out of a tube in solitary confinement. Separate accommodation because I have just seen her mercilessly harrassing the others, especially Bashful with this kind of "wrestling bears" posture, and slapping at each other with paws (very girlie)... Obviously something inside her has snapped as perpetual bottom peck in the robo-hammy hierarchy.
I let her back in with the others. Straight away she is disturbing old momma Spherical and instant chaos descended. So it's back to the handbag box for her. (Well that's what I call it. A plastic box that holds about five litres, complete with handbag-style handle. It is vaguely the shape of an oversized fishtank-shaped handbag...) Scrabbling away. Jumping up and up and up again at the light. She can jump approximately 3 inches at best, which from a 2 inch hammy means a grown man jumping NINE FEET!
When I just told her she was "very naughty" she slunk into a nibbled up toilet tube. I don't know what to do. There can be no wars among the trotters. If she carries on being naughty she is going to have to live separately which is robo-misery as they're social creatures. So I don't know. I really don't know. More robo-reportage tomorrow.
*
And last but by no means least Britain has the most glamorous state visit for generations this morning. France's President Sarkozy and wife Carla Bruni (Mick Jagger's ex among many many many many MANY others...) are to enjoy a state banquet tonight at Windsor Castle... then tomorrow they have to suffer the rather more dour company of Gorden Brown and his missus at their pokey Downing Street apartment... woo!
Read The Sun's reportage:~
Prince Charles Kisses Carla's Hand here
France's First Lady Carla Furious Over Nude Photo Shock here...
Nicola Sarkozy Promises Boring 1000 Extra French Troops For Afghanistan here...
...
Hello Again,
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you have already tried to find some answers for your hamster issue. If not, try here....
http://www.petwebsite.com/hamsters.asp
when you get a chance, it may take some digging but I think they have behavioural issues on there.
I can't find anything there though I found the robopage... I will try googling fighting roborovski
ReplyDeleteWe really should reconsider the Fred Thompson presidential bid so that we have a First Lady who is enough of a Hottie McHottenstein to compete in the international 'tang arena.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about your friends loss.
ReplyDeleteStill shocked Carla Bruni is the first lady of France!
I think Britain should throw me a state dinner at some castle seeing as I will be gracing your land with my Canadianess. Put in a word will ya ;)
ReplyDeleteZen Wizard: uh? Me no comprendo you referencio pluso me clicko.. ;->...????
ReplyDeletePatti: yeah man her with the beautiful face yet slightly piggy eyes who's been porked by half the sausages of the western democracies (sorry to be vulgar: but true)
Eileen: you are not in New York, are you? I just had to ask as someone listening to the radio came across from New York on email I thought is that my Eileen... you from Toronto, right? I will try and book Windsor Castle... if I were staying "state style" I would like to STAY at Windsor (more enchanting building) but FEAST at Buck House (larger building and get a drunken grand tour by Duke of Edinburgh afterwards...)
Yes I am indeed from Toronto which likes to fancy itself as New York of the North (I know embarassing) but whatevs, I like this city. My boyrfriend used to work at the Barbican Centre and has come across the Duke of Edinborough on several occasions, who apparently really likes his gin. I hear castles are drafty anyhow, so if it doesn't pan out with Windsor Castle, no worries. We are actually going to be staying in some boutique hotel in London 2 blocks away from Buckingham. I AM SO EXCITED...finally crossing "the pond".
ReplyDeletehi gleds - the headless bird - it was the hare! ... got his revenge from having his chocolate heads and legs bitten off over the Easter weekend ;)
ReplyDeleteI hope peace and tranquility returns to your Towers *!*
Rockem Sockem Robos. I remember that game. Oh wait that was Robots. I had my own war going on at 4 am this morning. Seems a raccoon took a liking to the roof on my shack. They get up there trying to find a way in for some heat. They have done some damage in the past so I have to get up and chase them off. Maybe I need an 'Itchy' of my own to patrol the perimeter.
ReplyDeleteThat photo of Charles kissing Carla's hand . . . does she have a bun in the oven???
ReplyDeletewhat a day you had...
ReplyDelete:)))
and what remarcable way of teeling us...
i laughed a lot
I watched one of those episodes of a Year With the Queen or whatever it was called, not long ago and it was the one where they gave a dinner and the Queen needs to do more of these types of documentaries as it changed my perception of her somewhat. I am an opposer of monarchy in any country, but the English always seemed extra awful and inhuman. I only saw one episode of this show and thought the Queen was rather well-humoured and down-to-earth, unlike some of the others in the royal house. I really liked the way she handled things.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, not sure why I was reminded of this, oh yes, the banquet with that slimy, little Napoleon II and his new wife (who looks just like his old wife but 20 years younger). I can't imagine how that dinner at the Brown's will go, I'd have to fake an epileptic fit to get out of that one.
I hope peace returns to Gledwood Towers soon! Enough to write more robo-reportage tomorrow but not too much as you might once again fall into profound slumber ... :)
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine her in solitary confinement! Perhaps it's a hormone problem? (Her behavior reminds me of my sister).
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind but after your last comment I posted about the English vs American/British spellings. I mention you and your post with link.
Janice~
Eileen: crappy rundown ruined castles are drafty: I'd imagine Windsor Castle was anything but. So book your accommodation there. Or if a secondbest HAS to be done: get guestrooms in Buckingham Palace. They DO have a swimming pool but no showers on the premises, so I'm told... Just like a 1950s hotel... Hey have a great trip btw!!
ReplyDeleteBimbimbie: ta! you saying the hair bit the birdie's HEAD off..??!???
Molson: yeah man she might well be eligable to be smallest guard "dog" on the planet... she's certainly aggressive enough (hmmmm) plus she doesn't carry about bunches of flowers like a pika
TutTut: yeah apparently Carla DOES have a bun in the oven. V perceptive of you ;->...
Sofia: excellent stuff; glad you liked it
ReplyDeleteNicole: actually there already have been THREE "Napoleons" though I don't get with the weird French how they call themselves a REPUBLIC then crown an EMPEROR that is so hypocritical and typically French if you ask me (the worst of their nature (what is the worst of the British nature. C'mon tell me!)) So Sarkozy would actually have to be Napoleon IV! Also: Also were all three Napoleons blood related? I have doubts...
As for the Queen I'm with you. I love her for WHO she is more than WHAT she is. If we had a dreadful person in charge I'm sure I'd be a bloody republican!!
Anonymous: ta I had MUCH profound slumber last night and this morning right through the Vanessa show (as per usual...)
Nick: yeah hormones of SPRING and MATING so I hear... she's not living in solitary, was only in there for an hour. If this goes on I don't know WHAT I'm gonna have to do...
Janice: yeah I read your Anglo-American post it was good I could add loads more examples... off the top of my memory:~
connexion = connection (though most Brits simply spell it connection like anyone else)
tyre = tire (for a car)
traveller = traveler
so traveller's cheques = traveler's checks
disc = disk
though a computer disk always has a K
(do you spell compact disc with a c? as our CDs have "compact disc" kind of trademarked upon with the c-spelling...?)
oh blah blah and so on
the ise/ize ending is optional in this country I use ize as it's more international and more to the point more phonetic
ae in mediaeval/primaeval etc... most people spell medieval/primeval but I preserve the ancient spelling as it LOOKS more ancient... oh blah blah and so on MORE!! haha great post!!