TALK ABOUT saving money and chucking the baby out with the bathwater: the drug service has new state-of-the-art creditcard-style urine tests. You pee into a cup, remove the end of the card and dip five little litmus-like dippers into the cup. Within a minute a "result" is recorded for cocaine, opiates, methadone, benzodiazepines and buprenorphine (Subutex).Today's test had me down as a major coke fiend, borderline methadone drinker (even though I'd had it all that morning), negligable heroin user, benzo-fiend (benzos are things like Valium/sleeping pills and I've not touched them for ages). As for the buprenorphine I had again borderline used that would have put me in horrible withdrawals on top of methadone.
NB it was not the same test illustrated to top left, but along those "lines"...
So I walked out of there scratching my head until I realized I'd drunk so much tea before I came in that my urine was dilute enough to score "negligable" on everything. Where on earth the high coke reading came from I don't know. I did the test twice and both readings were identical.
I've invented a genius "Chinese" stirfry. I know none of my cooking really is authentic Chinese, especially the curry. My aim is for TAKEAWAY cooking: not food as actually eaten in China (with dead dogs/crows/etc etc)....
Anyway, for this you boil up long grain rice and store in fridge.
Stirfry one medium mushroom chopped extra-thin.
Stirfry two or three baby corn per medium portion per person again chopped extra thin.
Add about a desertspoon tinned sweetcorn per person. Fry all this. Add the magic ingredients (salt and MSG) and a bit of pepper. Voila: A MASTERPIECE!!!
Abba's Agnetha: Sometimes When I'm Dreaming
Thanks Mizpeh
I guess it shows how long some drugs remain in your system after use - either that or it's as 'reliable' as a pregnancy test! Sounds like you're laying of the smack a bit Gleds, good to see! Stay with the program champ.
ReplyDeletejust be careful with the rice, reheated or recooked rice can give you terrible food poisoning, and you need that like a hole in the head.and it will probably test positive in some mad drug test!!
ReplyDeleteI need to get out more...I haven't heard of some of those chemicals.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a fan of recooked rice, either. Sometimes it's not good for one's health.
However, glad to see you're back blogging. You were missed.
That drug test sounds ridiculous. Reminds me of those products you use for testing what's in your drinking water - different colors mean different things like Iron, etc..
ReplyDeleteOh dear what tea were you drinking?
ReplyDeleteJanice~
Urine test?? Why?
ReplyDeleteWhy do you have to submit urine samples?
ReplyDeleteThose tests don't sound very reliable! :(
ReplyDeleteI think there is some stuff you can buy in a health food store that makes your urine clean up faster.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the urine screen for anyway? Don't they already know you're a user? It's not like you're trying to hide anything. I'm confused.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite morning beverage is Kroger band green tea. I like it even more because it's cheap and I'm cheap. Never got into coffee for some reason. Now I have to wonder what might be in that tea? I hate to think I might be a raving crack head and not even know it.