I'VE SPENT THE LAST FEW DAYS in a sour mood. (No heroin.) Weighed down by 1001 thoughts and half-meditations. None of them nice...As the nights draw in so does my sleep. I did twelve hours straight last night and that was with no chemical assistance. No heroin and certainly no chillpills. Methadone only as prescribed in regular measured doses...
... How I wished I could have stayed unconscious all day; my every thought pained me.
Funny how several months ago when I told my drugs worker why I really was depressed ("look at the state the world's in") she poopooed my observations. Now look at the state of things. Two retail banks have collapsed in Britain (Northern Rock and Bradford & Bingley, formerly two of our most respected "mutual" building societies and both victims of the trend for lending out money against borrowings on the international money markets rather than customers' deposits).
The nation of Iceland has very nearly gone bankrupt and a major internet bank of theirs tanked last week. The unlike the British and most European governments where similar things have happened, the Icelandic government have guaranteed only savings accounts held by their own nationals. Which means hundreds of millions of pounds of British individuals' money in "Ice-Save" was in jeapordy until our Government stepped in and froze the bank's UK assets, guaranteeing every penny of saver's accounts even over the £50,000 limit. Which doesn't necessarily belong to "rich people" but can equally well be cash from life insurance policies, the sale of homes or, in business simply a month's salaries bill. Local councils potentially lost over £100 million and charities £100 million+ more. It's absolute chaos. The Northern Irish political leader the Rev'd Ian Paisley stood up in Parliament and said we should pray to God for mercy and forgiveness. Parliament didn't laugh but refused to bat an ear.
The End Is Nigh! I tell you. THE END IS NIGH!!
And no: I'm not joking...
Trust Paisley to come up with something deply intelligent and thought provoking...
ReplyDeleteOr not.
As the case may be.
The end is not nigh! This will all calm down in a month or so and hopefully banks will be better regulated. Good on you for not hitting the smack in these dark times! Chin up cheese!
ReplyDeleteC'mon Gleds, the end is not nigh and you've done so well without your drugs. All will sort itself out eventually and if we have to tighten our belts and not use the credit cards, that can only be a good thing in the long run.
ReplyDeleteMaybe this is the time to quit...
I don't want to sound didactic, so I'll bullet my points...
ReplyDeleteA) Whether the world is nigh or not, it doesn't matter. You still have to keep living your life the way you are, there is (most likely) nothing we can do to stop it.
B) You just have to get over this hump of depression, you're probably just at the height of it. Don't worry, things were slowly get better. I know it's hard, but ya just gotta remember that your mind is playin' tricks on ya. (like that 80s song) = )
Now, I'm going to leave you a link to a video that should make you laugh:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89zOtd6VAiU
because you're so beautiful... like a tree (just watch the video and you'll get it).
This is by far not the end. This is just financial stupidity. quite frankly I wish that every financial structure the world has in place would collapse and we could re-work everything. Houses, cars and other items need to cost much less and people should be able to work hard, save-up and purchase, instead of having to be slaves to corporate greed by mortgaging themselves for eternity. Stocks and speculation need to become a thing of the past and all these pretend banking jobs need to be lost and turned into something useful for the world.
ReplyDeleteOn another note: hang in there. I know it's depressing but you need to focus on good things. Vincent and I are back from our short trip to Melbourne and the Great Ocean Road and it's back to work slavery tomorrow.
Good to read you managed on the methadone alone mate. I wish you could keep on going like that.
ReplyDeleteI really do.
Yes, it's a thumbs up from me too Gleds*!*
ReplyDelete... you just need to turn the pages of the newspaper a little further to get to the more important news - did you see the chimp and two cubs ... talk about a warm fuzzy hug*?*
I'm so pleased to read you're managing without H Gleds, keep it up m'dear. x
ReplyDeleteI wish i could lift the weights off you, gleds. I'll pray for you though.
ReplyDeletexx
Thinking of you during these dark times. My retirement fund is vanished... and since I've just lost my job perhaps I should just pack up and take that trip to end all trips... it is tempting isn't it?
ReplyDeleteHi Gleds
ReplyDeleteIan Paisley – he’s mellowed with age! One guy in the States said the solution to the problem is actually printed on their currency!
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ReplyDeleteSorry, that was me...should always proof read FIRST.
ReplyDeleteThis is going to sound very simple, but it's only money. I know, I know...the entire world is falling apart. But when my mother was dying of brain cancer and my father was battling another form of cancer, I realized that everything else is small in comparison. Money isn't everything, it's simply something to ensure we have the necessities in life. Other than that, it's not that important. As long as you have the people you love and a roof over your head, you're o.k.
I feel for you gled...I've spent a very long time scraping to the sides of a black hole of depression, clinging desperately so I won't fall completely in. A lot of bad things have happened to me over the pat 10 years - but it's nothing like losing someone you love to an excruciatingly painful disease. Everything else is put into perspective when you realize the fragility of life and how very insignificant we really are. Just enjoy your time here (when you're able to).
I agree with the poster (above) who said flip a few pages of the paper and find something positive. Some news of a rescued animal. The funnies. Anything to clear your mind of the negativity and sky is falling stuff.
Thinking about you my friend. Hang in there. xo
Tnanks everyone. They SAY this ought to bottom out, then we're in recession (if not Depression like the 1920s or 30s whichever it was)... but the banks of the world ARE falling and people whose pensions are linked to the stock market (something I have to say I'd NEVER have advised) are *****d as shares fell 40% in the last WEEK... I don't know where to end. It IS depressing though...
ReplyDelete