I THINK BASHFUL ROBOROVSKI IS DYING. She is certainly ill. Seems to have lost her sense of balance and spins round and round. This is a genetic fault and nothing can be done about it. There she was, huddled inside a cardboard box last night all sicksome. I fed her sweetcorn and Bill Oddie's Breakfast Birdseed. Her backbone is sticking out of her fur like a metal arch. Her eyes have been getting progressively blearier for days and days. Spherical on the other hand looks bright as anything.Imagine my surprise this morning to see her drinking of her own accord of the waterbottle. Maybe miracles do happen, even for MC Trotter Donkey..? It was weird to see her behaving normally again. Hopefully this means an end to it. I think the same illness killed Itchy ...
Spherical glares at me with suspicion and retreats into a Channel Tunnel size cardboard tube I gave them. There her Carrot Nose sticks out quivering with contention. She seems to consider me some kind of evil sorcerer. Maybe it's because my eyes lit up luminous green when I'm angry ..? Who Nose..??!?
Maple Syrup, my Drug Worker, phoned me today asking what's wrong. She actually asked how I was!! I do think Maple Syrup is very clever by taking a different tack from all my other workers. Some of it has worked.
In psychology one thing I do recall: you had what they named Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation. Extrinsic motivation is doing something because somebody is manipulating you or threatening you. Intrinsic motivation does things because it WANTS to. I only work well intrinsically. Maybe what got missed yesterday is that I DO want to do these groups; but do NOT want to do them because I'm threatened or cajoled or bullied. I try not to be the type of person who cuts off his nose to spite his face, but dealing with Maple Syrup this becomes an ever-so-temptational course of action...
I told Maple Syrup I'm all up for these alternative therapies but they're being scheduled too fast. One thing at a time.
Finally she seems to have listened ...
Glad to hear you may be warming up to your drug's worker a little more. You need help my friend, professional help. It would be so good to see you get out of this addiction trap, it prolly not much different from being jailed.
ReplyDeleteCrossing my fingers that your little hamster continues to do well :)
I hope bashful continues to recover. :)
ReplyDeleteAwww nooo . . poor Bashful. I hope it's not the same as Itchy's illness. Good that she's drinking and up and about though and well done recognising your motivation. Your drug worker seems to be respecting that you're an 'intrinsic' by trying different approaches. Communication is the key Gleds . . she can take a horse to water and all that. Good luck to you.
ReplyDeleteI am hoping that Bashful will be okay. I can't take more hamster sadness. Sorry Gleds. I just love animals.
ReplyDeleteI hope Bashful does come right, Gleds. Poor little hammy.
ReplyDeleteYes, I know what you mean by Intrinsic...I'm one of those, too. Anyone starts manipulating or pushing me, I get all stubborn and dig my toes in. As they say, I can be led, not pushed and obviously you're the same.
Your social worker seems to have worked you out, maybe? Let's hope so and hope she has some success, hmmm?
Re: Bashful
ReplyDeleteOh no! Can you take her to the vet?
Is she old/middle aged?
Re: Enforced help
I know how you feel. When they pile the pressure on you to attend these things it robs you of feeling you are helping yourself and I think that's very important. You've got to do this off your own back otherwise it's meaningless and feels like you're doing it to please them or tick the check boxes.
Two wrongs don't make a right and forcing someone to do something even if it's good for them is wrong.
As for contacting you in the last minute, that is so disrespectful. It implies you're a druggie that sits round all day doing fuck all. The 'system' is full of nonsense that doesn't really benefit anyone.
As for the group meetings, I've stayed well away from them. I really don't want to hug a stranger and spill my guts out to them. I'd rather talk one-to-one with trained professional. Some of those NA meetings seem to have a religious theme like with the prayer they do. What if you're an atheist addict?
anyway, gotta go.
you take care and same for the robos!
x Kelly
Aye you're all right. I hate feeling I'm being forced. Though I would like to think I'm not stupid enough to cut off my nose to spite my face (would LIKE ...)
ReplyDeleteBashful appears to be a bit better. Everything I read about Roborovski Spinning Syndrome says it's incurable (yet not necessarily constant) so I'm hoping it's just going away ...