I WAS UNFORTUNATE ENOUGH to take the bus today. A bus that got snarled up in traffic for what felt like half an hour but must have been about ten minutes at ONE set of traffic lights. Itchiness of feet and Egyptian-tomb-like claustrophobia were eating into me so bad I felt I couldn't take another moment on this thrumming sardine-tin torture machine. So I very nicely asked the driver if he would let me out. But the old moustached petrol tanker exploded on me "What? Let you out here? In the traffic? With quite possibly an undercover instructor on board??" YES!
No. So I skulked back shamefaced. Not to my seat, but to the second set of doors (it was an ultra-long bendy bus) where I attempted emergency door open ~ something I only ever used (recently) when three massive inspectors bounded on and I hadn't got a ticket ~ but that's another story... Anyway the bastard OVERRRODE the door opener, which is inside an openable plastic case ~ and you have to be tall to reach up so heaven help you in a multi-vehicle pile-up if you're short of stature!
Having accepted the doors would not open for me I irritatedly took to flicking through one of my Kraut-magazines. Only for said driver to interrupt my "peace" (the kind of peace a pot has when it's boiling over, I have to say) with "I saw what you tried to do!" and threats to call the police.
If I'd had TIME to deal with constables I'd have gladly argued my case (it's not a "breach of the peace" to open a door, is it! And what crime can it possibly be? If I'm desperate enough to open a door in full (motionless) traffic, surely it's my lookout if I'm going to get run-down.) But anyway we were at a stop and the bus driver continued haranguing me. And saying "You're lucky I'm in a good mood"~!! So I told him to f*** off. And regretted it. I actually wished I'd told him I wished he would crash. That would probably get to a bus driver more. Then I thought about it and wished I'd kept my face blank, my mouth shut and merely risen above it all with quiet dignity... but hindsight is an awfully great teacher ...*I believe our friends across the "Pond" don't use the word "row", which rhymes with cow and means a verbal altercation ... is this true..?
~~American Heritage book of English Usage definition of "row" ...
Nobody loves me
ReplyDeleteEverybody hates me
Going to the garden to eat worms
Big fat juicy ones
Tiny little squiggly ones
Watch them wriggle and squirm
Bite their heads off
Suck their juice out
Throw their skins away
I don't see how birds can live on
Worms three times a day
Nobody loves me
Everybody hates me
Going to the garden to eat worms
Long thin slimy ones
Short fat juicy ones
Gooey, gooey, gooey, gooey, worms
Long thin slimy ones slip down easily
Short fat juicy ones stick
Short fat juicy ones stick between your teeth
And the juice goes slurp, slurp, slurp
well, that sounds like a thoroughly unpleasant experience.
ReplyDeleteto answer your question, across the pond here in the US we do occassionally use the word "row" to indicate a verbal quarrel, however, when we use it the word rhymes with low rather than with cow. i suppose when you rhyme it with low it only mean to propel a boat by oars?
We don't use "row" at all here where I live - except for people from England. There are actually quite a lot of differences in the language culture. This summer with the boys over from Ireland, I discovered that we use a number of phrases that are incomprehensible as well.
ReplyDeleteCrazy that he wouldn't let you off. You should have told him you were having a panic attack being closed in.
And telling him to fuck off was exactly what I'd have done. It's not clever and it's ineffective as an insult but it makes you feel somewhat better to have said it.
You should have told him you are agoraphobic and likely to explode and appeared manic - I bet he'd have opened the doors then!
ReplyDeleteI've heard the term row used in the States, but not often. Even had the correct pronunciation. I think I would have wanted off the bendy bus too if I were in your shoes. No one should have to ride on a bendy bus... anywhere. Fortunately there are no bendy buses anywhere near my abode. In fact there are no buses at all, but no matter, the village is small and one can walk or bike anywhere. Yes they call my little town a village. Now if you want to get to the neighboring town, you are SOL without a car as it would be a pretty good walk. No matter though, the village has all anyone needs to exist so I do a lot of walking in the village.
ReplyDeleteGledwood did you really tell the bendy bus driver to f***k off? Wow. You must have been in a right bad mood. See that's what bendy buses do to people.
Yes, row is a word to describe an altercation over here, as in they had quite a row.
ReplyDeleteBut I would rather row with the team than have a row with them.
ok, checked with another word-wise pal and he said he uses "row" as you have described and with your pronunciation. i've only heard the usage i described but that could be a regional thing or maybe just my ignorance and the ignorance of those around me. how's that for entirely lacking in any definitive answer?
ReplyDeleteHi, if there's a next time just go right up close - and ask Herr Driver to give you some fresh air (and a bucket!) as you're feeling a little queasy! You'll be off the bus before you've finished the sentence - guaranteed! (Oh, and he'll probably tell you to f...off!)
ReplyDeleteBest wishes for your endeavours. What wasted potential. You can hit the real heights - not the false and failing 'highs' - when you defeat the cruel, faithless old tart who keeps you at her beck and call! From what you've said, that Madam Heroin has already turned on you, and your loyalty is misplaced. Her and her kind, ALL of them, rob you blind, steal your life (all that you are and can be) and leave you for dead - or dead. You know it - we all do.
You're a man - show her the door. You're strong. Tell her to F... OFF for good, and take the rest of her trollops with her! MONDAYS? STAY AWAKE AND WRITE! Don't hold back!
With you in spirit,
Hitz4U
I certainly know what a row that rhymes with cow is. I have experienced many of them.
ReplyDeleteFrom my viewpoint, you were being detained against your will and I see that as a crime.
I've had some nasty experiences with bus drivers, simply because I wasn't used to the bus system in their area. But, usually, my friends and I lie and get on to the bus for free, so I can't complain that much.
ReplyDelete= )
I only use the metro in Paris though, the bus system seems far too confusing.
That's fascinating information everyone thanks v much. I never took the bus in Paris either Luce btw have you got to recognize at least 3 professional street beggars yet?
ReplyDeleteOh poor old you ... I used to sing that worm song too. I would have said I was going to be sick and had to get off NOW*!*
ReplyDeleteCheer up. It's done and dusted. Next time just tell the driver you're violently ill and you need to get off.
ReplyDeleteYes I'm definitely going to use the ill excuse next time
ReplyDelete;->...