THIS IS A PICTURE of the Australian drug-memoirist Kate Holden, who published her story of middle-class girl's fall from sheltered upbringing to heroin addict a few years ago to international success. After taking heroin for some months she hit the point all addicts hit, when friends will no longer lend money, credit cards are spent ... etc and something else has to be done to raise money. So she went out and sold her body on the streets. One night a man picked her up saying he worked for a brothel that needed new girls. Two brothels later she had become one of Melbourne's most prized "ladies" of the night. After a five-year "battle" with the drug. (An expression I that always makes me smirk inwardly: for most of an addict's battle involves automatically going on taking the drug, no matter how much they feel and say they want to stop...) ... she eventually detoxed on reducing methadone, continued working several nights a week in an upmarket brothel, and used the money she saved to fund a trip to Europe.
But all I could wonder about, on finishing the book was what did she do next? Do you think this picture gives an answer..?
To me it does. It underlines a sad reality.
I have a friend who "got clean" via Subutex (buprenorphine) after a 35 year + habit. He is full of stories of the legendary days of the 1960s. I cross-checked some of his facts and the tales appear to be true.
He was a good friend (ex-partner) of my old friend Lucky who suddenly died just over a year ago. She was the ONLY dead addict I ever cried over, so I hope wherever she is she feels privileged ... anyway:
How amazing: if someone so heavily addicted to heroin for so long can go clean ~ isn't there hope for us all?
Then, as I spent more time with him I realized the uglier (more obvious) truth. Of course he IS still using. Even after all this treatment, after all this time. He's still ~ albeit occasionally ~ using heroin.
Which just makes me want to jump out of the window.
When I get clean ~ I know this ~ I will NEVER go back.
Which is probably why I find it so very hard to GET clean...
*******
EVA CASSIDY ~ Fields of Gold
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Lucky always said she used to deal Chinese heroin in Soho. And she did indeed have a very faded Chinese tattoo on one hand ...
... I'm never sure whether or not to believe such stories, but hers did have a ring of truth ... if anyone's interested, here are some facts about the "olden days" from Black Poppy magazine ...
Gled's she's back in Melbourne. She has a blog and My Space, is clean. She does library talks on her book and still writing. There is hope . . .always.
ReplyDeleteAs with any addiction YOU have to WANT to give up otherwise you're doomed to fail. When you really WANT it you will DO it. I hope that time is soon m'dear. x
ReplyDeleteBAINO: I hope she is. Maybe that wasn't a very good photo. I didn't mean to be unfairly judgemental. Also she could have been/could be ill ... have you got the blog url?
ReplyDeleteAKELAMALU: that's true I know. It's just so disappointing to realize what a minority activity it seems to be. That's what was getting me :-<...
Gleddie, there is hope! I am clean after a 'battle with the drug' for 22 years. I do take however prescribed Codeine and Bupronorphine ... not for my addiction, but for Arthritis, which has worsened since I had HepC and treatment. But I do take these 'drugs' controlled and never exceed the prescribed dose. Wish I could do without them, but after all I have been through, I don't want to live with excessive pain, I rather be almost painfree and take some drugs. By the way, I will be down in London next month. How about meeting for a drink? Still don't know if you got my 2 email???
ReplyDeleteLove always
Fishy xx
Gleddy,
ReplyDeleteWhat is the title of the book, please? It sounds like something I might like.
Thanks,
SB
It is very interesting for me to read that post. Thanks for it. I like such themes and everything connected to them. I definitely want to read more soon.
ReplyDeleteInteresting story as for me. It would be great to read a bit more concerning this topic. Thank you for sharing this information.
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C'mon, are you really saying that you can tell Holden is still using from just a SINGLE photo, because she still looks like a junkie to *you*? That's so unfair and so judgemental in the extreme, the kind of unfair judgement that yuo wouldn't want to receive yourself. Sorry if I misunderstood you.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, try GPS blocker to disable all secret devices in your room or at work.
ReplyDelete