Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Hamburger Fixation

I AM NEWLY ADDICTED TO BEEFBURGERS. I eat them in brown pitta bread with relish and cheese and tomatoes and radishes. I've cooked so many (and convinced the alarms the entire building was burning down) that the whole place reeks of said fry-ups as you walk in.

Not having the use of an oven any more because the old one's so dirty and grease-filled it smokes like a towering inferno whenever it's on (but no flames). So I carbonize mine in a pan. I'm not averse to blackened meat. I really like the whole indoor-BBQ aspect. But the last but one was a bit too Hiroshima-crunchy. In fact the only thing non-nuclear about it was it didn't glow in the dark and didn't make your fillings tingle.

Anyway: right next to me in a carrier bag as I speak are four of Morrisons own prime beef quarter pounders. 99% beef. I have this inner excited glow of looking forward to cooking them, which is quite sad. And it's about the only excitement I have left. The dreary depths of autumn are mounded rotting-leaf high... police constables have been issued with advice leaflets on how to avoid slipping up and injuring themselves in these terrorous times. I found an embossing stamp this morning and have been embossing everything I own. I am still reading (the end of) Bahnhof Zoo and lots of things re Japanese. But apart from that I feel like jumping before an oncoming train. I just hope I win Euromillions' £90,000,000 jackpot on Friday. Unlike some of those American lotteries I hear about, this one pays you the entire sum tax free in one lump. How cool is that. You could even buy a house in Kensington and Chelsea with that money...

I mean, if £90,000,000 can't solve my problems: what will???

Talking of money, who else was a fan of 80s soap operas? My personal favourite was the Australian Return to Eden. Unlike Dynasty it wasn't so boring you could only admire the set-design. Most of the caste of this Australian "miniseries" (not based on a novel) had been in Prisoner Cell Block H so me and my brother called them by their prisoner names as the rich-bitch drama unfolded. All I remember was Travers from Prisoner (the Joan Collins figure) had a psychopathic hatred of her pudding-basin-coiffured rival, the motherly Stephanie Harper. O ~ I recall the name to this day. How full my life must have been in the 1980s.... just about every cliffhanger seemed to feature a twisted-faced Jilly/Travers's Aussie-vowelled threat: "I'm gonna get you, Stiffany Hairper!" Here's a few clips:








Peta Toppano (Travers/Jilly) official site.

10 comments:

  1. It's been said that money won't buy you happiness, but if I have to be miserable, I would rather be miserable and rich than miserable and poor. Enjoy the burgers.

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  2. I hope you win the damn lottery, too, Gledds. Good luck with it.

    Love,

    SB

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  3. Money can't buy happiness but it can buy a whole heap of comfort! Unfortunately, too many of those who come by great wads of money easily seem to go into self-destruct mode. ie Michael Jackson and many other celebrities. I'm not saying MJ didn't work hard but he didn't work THAT hard. He could have purchased a heck of a lot of therapy but chose to do otherwise.

    So, I hope that you win - but I hope even more that you you the money wisely.

    I wonder if your iron is low if you are craving beef. Or maybe some other nutrient. (I generally don't care for steak but now and then I NEED it.)

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  4. I still watch Neighbours - that's been going a while hasn't it?

    If you won the lottery tell me you wouldn't spend it on drugs, you'd spend it on getting yourself clean.

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  5. Hey Gleds, how are you going buddy? Your comment about the "Hiroshima-crunchy" made me laugh. I can't believe you're bbq-ing indoors hahaha. You be carefull though k? :-) Can't you clean out your oven?

    I know what you mean about the rotting leaves. It makes me feel ehm, not depressed but not exactly happy either.

    My return to NL has been smooth but emotionally it's a bit of a rough ride at times.

    I hope you are doing well Gleds. take care,

    Vince.

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  6. I'm happy with just what I have. I think that too much money can be a curse. The US has a fascination and love of hamburgers too. Did you see Super Size Me?

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  7. we dont have a fascination with hamburgers! its just like the only food you can get at a fast food restaurant :(

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  8. Molson: money can buy travel and a change in surroundings and that can bring escape if nothing else...

    SB: cheers wish me luck I'm buying the ticket today

    Jeannie: iron deficiency? A brain deficiency more like hahar!

    If I did win the lottery I would go straight to private treatment, no question.

    I certainly wouldn't waste my money like Michael Jackson did. He lived like literal royalty. I don't need anyone to open my doors for me and never shall...

    Akelamalu: yes I would spend it on getting clean. The first thing I would do is get an appointment at a private clinic I know ...

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  9. Akelamalu: I don't watch Neighbours because it's on Channel 5 or something, isn't it...? Or where has it gone. I wish they'd bring Return to Eden back, it was the only upmarket soap I ever really liked. Apart from Ugly Betty, if you can call that "soap"...

    Vince: I'm surviving. I feel depressed too, really.

    Syd: No! I would if it came on telly though. It would probably make me feel hungry all the time. + I used to live right round the corner from one and know the McDonalds menu by heart...

    J: really? But your McDonalds seems to be twice as cheap as ours. The "bargainacious" formerly 99p double cheeseburger is now £1.40 here, which is about $2.50 ~ and I heard they are $0.99 in the US!!

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  10. glad to see your still eating well :-)

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