THE WEATHER'S extremely chilly. Fallen leaves everywhere in a brown mush. A "nip" in the air, if I can say that without being racist about the Japanese (according to the Official Politically Correct Handbook, not ...)All I want to do is eat and sleep. Eat stodge, that is and go to bed in the day. And sleep all night into the bargain. And then when I'm awake all I think about most of the time is doom and gloom. This is depression (again).
I saw a documentary on Japan last night. Japan and Japanese things barely ever come on British telly. Well, nowhere near as frequently as I'd like. Of course there are people from all over the world in London and the UK, but no great community of Japanese expats, so Japan and Japanese things are pretty exotic here.But there was this British man, who motorcycled (and ferryboated) from Sydney Australia to Tokyo Japan. He was on telly last night. Id' seen some of it before, but this was was the last episode, the Japanese instalment. I sat glued to the screen and nearly fell over when a couple of street signs appeared and I could read them!
京都駅: 京 kyō means "capital city" ... this is the same character used in Tōkyō 東京 ("East Capital"). The second character 都 can be read to or miyako, meaning "the seat of Imperial palace" or "capital".) (Kyōto, by the way, was capital of Japan before Tōkyō took on the title in the modern era.) Railway station eki = a horse 馬 (lefthandside) coming to a halt on the right, 駅 where they say the R should be used as a mnemonic for Railwaystation ...
THIS IS IT: Charlie Boorman ~ Sydney to Tokyo By Any Means ...
You seem to have such longing to see other places...yet you are held back by your addiction. No wonder you are depressed. Have you looked into natural therapies - vitamins/ supplements at all? Was the lethargy there before the addiction? There must be an underlying cause. If you can fix that - you'll be unstoppable. I realize that yours may not be all that simple an issue but I would never have believed that taking a couple doses of GABA would have eased, without any side effects, a lifetime of anxiety (which I now think was bordering on paranoia at times). I had to take the GABA regularly at first but seem to be able to skip doses now without freaking out again. Not having the anxiety has eased my own depression and has me thinking a lot straighter. I think taking the low doses of weed helped a lot too - more than with just the pain but it seems to have lifted my mood for much longer than the effects should have had any impact. Perhaps it adjusted my sleep patterns. I'm not saying the same things would work for you - you have different issues entirely, but what if there is some deficiency that is somewhat unique to you behind everything? You seem to search out good food - perhaps you are subconsciously looking for that nutrient.
ReplyDeleteI love Charlie Borman, especially in the docos with Ewan McGregor but haven't seen this one. Japan is a weird place by all accounts. My daughter's been there. A strange dichotomy of the straight laced and bizarre. You mean you don't get Iron Chef on telly over there?
ReplyDeleteEating stodge will make you feel even more lethargic you know m'dear.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny you put up that picture of a hamburger chair thing. I've been looking at chairs online for my place and I keep seeing that chair and thinking it's funny - I just can't seem to think of any way to justify needing a big sandwhich chair, however fun it may be.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to your issues of feeling like your life is just wrong for you and doesn't fit right, but not really knowing what to do to change it. I think a lot of people like us who become addicted to H are really intelligent people who somehow lack basic skills that others have. Like you can obviously pick up languages in a way that not many people can. That's amazing. But maybe something obscure like that is easy, while simply paying bills, applying to school, and organizing your life seems impossible. I don't mean to assume I know your life better than you do. Just a lot of what you write resonates with me, it seems similar to my own issues. I love school, get straight A's, read voraciously, work my ass off, but try to get me to budget my expenses, and organize my responsibilities and it's like you're asking me to fly to the moon. I feel debilitated by basic day to day requirements for life and it's really, really difficult to stick to any routine which may bring about change. I have no solution, just sympathy. All the power to you. And that pic of the bird diving is wicked.
Jeannie: I've heard of GABA but never even thought of trying it... so is it really that good? Maybe I should give it a go...
ReplyDeleteBaino: the Iron Chef? Is Charlie Boorman a chef then? ... Never heard of it!
That's where I'm getting confused about the series having a million episodes and somehow visiting Africa en route from Sydney to Japan... it was ANOTHER TRIP. Dur!!! OK I know now...
Akelamalu: do you think so? So why the craving? I thought if you craved something you're MEANT to eat it... (unless maybe it's opium...)
Nellie: that's exactly it. My Mum who's doing French classes has a teacher who's learning Japanese at the same college and says it's fiendish. Somehow I can remember those little signs as easily as road signs. But it might have something to do with not trying ... I think that makes a difference too.
I meant exactly it re the heroin stuff as much as the language stuff. See I wanna be a writer and can't even express myself right.
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