Valerie my Australian non-pregnant non-bigtime heroin dealer (so she claims, now she got busted with 700 keys) non-friend has this to say from prison in Sydney. Got hauled however many 100 miles out of her own home by "crooked customs" (as she calls them) that woman calls everyone a crook bar herself!!
Here's her latest:
Valerie said...
Well dearie, it's me again from PRISON in Sydney. Fucking police. 700kgs of Finest Double UO Global China White. Seized!! And they are trying to pin it on ME!!
If you're wondering how I'm emailing this from prison, let me tell you when you have the funds we have, even though we pay fucking monstrous bills to get them washed as legit ~ anything is possible. I am thoroughly stoned off my box in here. They don't call me China White Queen for nothing. I paid off the bitch in charge of previous supplies. Now the neat shit's coming in. Bitches ODing left, right and centre!!
Well this is going to sort itself out in some costly way, I feel the loss of a 17 carat blue diamond coming on. Thank fuck we have those 44 keys stashed in the old back garden! O fuck did I really say that. Off me tits on crack, babe. Don't know what I'm really saying. Crack city in here tonight, baby!! Mama's home!!!!
Those bitch-girls love me in here. I'm their smack-mammy they never had. Oh they fucking love me gorgeous and you wanna take a look at me no make up shit light after starting out at that jailhouse/brothel/whatever the fuck I don't WANT to remember in Pnom Pen in 1956 would you believe!! That makes me quite successful in my own eyes.
Those peasants would be out of a job and growing useless wheat/corn/barley/crap if it weren't for me!!
Well I gotta go. Screws on me case for smoking cigar behind govenor's desk, hogging computer for too long. Got so much news to spill, just wait for my next one. I'll give the lowdown on what bitch is doing what to whom, if you want it. O shit gotta go. FUCKING SCREWS
vv v
o valerie you crazy cow. hogging head honchos office already!!
ReplyDeleteno more 300kg requests Gledwood, you might be only big china white dealer in london but ya never pay ya debts on time and me and brucie need cash real quick now what with this 700-key crisis!!
ReplyDeletei have never sold 1kg of china white in london or anywhere else, let alone 300!!
ReplyDeleteo shit gledwood, mixed you up with a pregnant woman yet again. it's that hamster image that does it
ReplyDeletenah, person i'm on about is named glenda. beefy black lesbian type. real nice, a bit misunderstood. gold toothed-gun-toting yardie type, but actually she's a real sweetie.
desperately funny at last new years' meow party!!
never pays her fucking bills on time. no more!! else i waste $20,000 getting her done in, yuck i hate gangland killilngs but sometimes, baby, you just gotta pick up that phone and order the right pizza da action, know what i mean!!!