during the drought I'm not the only one. I'm not interested in rubbishy gear or good gear. No gear was ever good enough for me. Even when unusually strong I got used to it disturbingly quickly then couldn't feel anything else. That's the main reason I drink, I needed something else to intensify the effect of heroin.I had some difficulty keeping still and not fidgetting and keeping quiet. Walking hypes me up when I'm feeling a bit hyper. So walking there gave me a nice euphoria. At one point I just had to go and walk around a few local car parks, ones with nice lights and shiny windows (I get a great buzz off lights). I think I'm getting a lift to another meeting tomrorrow. A lift is a ride: do you say a lift on foreign shores? I've no idea.
I found American online meetings. The UK meetings are given in the post below.
These take place at 10pm Eastern time which is 3am UK time and there are no physical meetings to attend at this time although in London there are some around 6 or 7am.
3am uk is 4am Central Europe and 2pm Australia (the next day). The link is here.
I'm really hungry, my body is hungry, food is there. Little appetite. Have to try.
The abstract bassy dmm dmm dmm dmmm dmmm is what I particularly liked about the music of this time. Thanks Lizzie
BTW if anyone is thinking this makes me want to use just because I talk about drugs I gave up more than a decade ago and haven't used at all for a good 8 years you really are barking up the wrong tree. Not interested!
01:14 Hey I just googled Domes and Snowballs which were the same thing, really strong trippy E and absolutely lovely and the link came back saying exactly what we were told "half at a time, lads" I did as told, reluctantly and was Eeeeeing and tripping strongly, cabbaged on the floor of the rave seeing acid smileys jumping out of people's dancing knees. I fell in love with a girl called Abbey from Gt Yarmouth. The pill was so strong I saved the 2nd half for later and scored speed instead and did the rest of the night on that, still tripping, tripping for 24 hours. And it didn't feel like MDA which I tried. It felt like MDMA+something like DOM it was intensely trippy, trippier than the MDA caps I got. Unless the MDA was something else, maybe 2ct7 and the domes actually were MDA. I do remember the girl saying "they're MDA domes" and we both thought "she's left an M out" (ecstasy is MDMA). Beautiful beautiful beautiful I adored it like nothing else.
05:55 THIS is why I love ITV Nightscreen: trancy supermarket music. Am I getting really old or is the first track especially really cool? This is a mockup but it's just the sort of stuff they play and highly addictive once you get used to leaving the telly on and sleeping with it in the background
Well done, Gleds! Keep on keeping on.
ReplyDeletewell i'm going tomorrow, getting a lift, at least getting a phone call
ReplyDeleteGledwood,
ReplyDeleteThis is honestly the best thing I have heard today!!! So glad you are doing this for yourself.
Thanks. Strange that you should come to a post that started with NA and degeneraged into me banging on about ecstasy. Fair enough I did used to love it. The bit I'm not mentioning here is crying in bed for days after, feeling lied to. That was the ultimate effect of that drug. It felt like a lie. A nasty chemical lie. Like all drugs.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you are going. Good for you!
ReplyDeleteYeah it's the only place I can go except AA and the Dual Diagnosis Club, from now on
ReplyDeleteI am glad you liked it. And I am glad you are going again. Good for you, Gleds.
ReplyDeleteIt's the dual one I like the most but NA was OK. I did keep my trap shut re mental health and tried not to get irritated when one talked about mental illness in a semi-symbolic way and another talked about being "manic". NA call using "insanity" ~ to me "insanity" has a different meaning and it may or may not be brought on by using. More crystal meth or crack than heroin and you know exactly the type of stuff I mean
ReplyDeletebut as they say you have to take life on life's terms and accept NA on NA's terms. And that means hearing terminology I use to mean a severe and disabling condition to describe something a little less severe and disabling, but in a different way... And you should never ever judge another person's reality, esp one you don't know. Suffering is relative, which is why I have been very careful not to give the impression that I think my own experience means I have suffered any more than anyone else because that is not necessarily so. The Big One in December was horrible but fairly brief. Some of these people have had very upsetting situations lasting years that may have been caused by another person they couldn't get away from (for example)... something that's actually more difficult to treat than anything I've gone through. Which is why as I say I try and remain open-minded in my views about most things.
I think NA really does work for those who work it but it really is not for everyone. I've seen it work on others. I've been enough times over the entire length of my addiction. I wasn't even addicted to heroin the first time I went, I was using crack and even then realized it was a problem. I don't feel that I wasted mine or anybody else's time, I was glad to know of a place I could go any day ~ and it really is 7 days a week, 3 times a day if you want it here. Very glad indeed to know it's there. And quite possibily, for me, a far better option than rehab.
This is god news, I really hope that it helps you
ReplyDeleteThat's great!
ReplyDeleteSeems like the sensible thing to do:)
I'll keep u in my thoughts,
j.