That was the week I got left with no money because I just couldn't find the cashcard. And this is the type of shit I'm meant to remember for that Form of Shame the Government Don't want me to fill in because they take the piss. Instead of awarding it automatically to everyone it applies to they prey on the vulnerable and fucked up knowing they won't get this very complicated form signed by however many people need to sign it (not just me) and properly filled in etc etc. Yet when I owe them a million pounds in tax what will they do to me if I don't cough up? Well that's what should happen to them, that Cameron should be in Broadmoor anyway.Cameron is the prime minister. Broadmoor is a prison for the criminally insane. All politicians should be ECTd compulsorily and given a thousand milligrams methadone a day IV for a year. Then it should be withdrawn without notice. Then the drug policy in this country will mysteriously alter. Prescription heroin will appear from nowhere. Addicts will get proper treatment. And all because those bastards want to end their OWN suffering. They don't give two hoots about you or me. To be frank, I'd rather have the Queen running the country than those tossers. It is after all Her Majesty's Government. So why doesn't she govern? The PM kowtows to her. When I'm PM I'm chucking her out of Buckingham Palace, crowning myself emperor and having seven stories and four new wings added I'll also get Windsor Castle doubled in size and charge the Queen inheritance tax going back to 1900 on Sandringham and Balmoral. If aristocrats should lose their estates to death duties, so should the Queen.
Anyway I'm looking for this script for sleeping pills. Because they made a mess of it I just scored zopiclone on the street. 6 for £10, a ripoff price but I was in no fit state to get to that nuthouse and back, it's miles away.
I'm phoning them up if I ever find it and checking it's valid and cashing it today. I could do with a long walk. I can't score zoppies because I literally do not have a penny. I tell a lie I have 2p on me; I spent my very last on a pint of milk. I'm broke because I thought I had loads of money in the bank when I had 60p.
I feel nauseated and ill from lack of sleep but my GP told me lack of sleep isn't anything to worry about and that you get as much as you need, so I'm fine not going to bed for a few days if I don't want to. See I got all this advice from qualified drs who do 7 years' training so I don't need sleep. The prissy bitch who was my worst ever GP advised me that.
I'm phoning Valium Marilyn in a sec. She's in tears because she lost her own PO card. I said "darling I will get you the money you can have mine" she's still crying. Her daughter had about five abortions in a year (well that's the way she told it) and she was crying over them like nobody's business.
10:00 OK I'm going to Valium Marilyn's now she's giving me 90p oh man I really feel like i'm going to puke my guts up what's wrong with me? I've only drank tea with milk and hot chocolate no alcohol and cauliflower cheese with the fries i had left and a can of beans so iv'e not had anything weird loosing sleep doesn't cause nausea does it? i feel absolutely done in but my dr said it's absolutely fine to get sleep deprivation and she must be righ the bitch is a dr that 's m y old dr and that's sarcasm btw ok i gotta run her son's coming back soon he's been out eeeeing or whatever kids do these days. meowing probably
Illustrated: the post office account card that mine has no money on and Marilyn's is lost so I'm phoning up in a sec to get her a new one she's having a real good cry about her anaemia and her grandson she was in hospital not long ago for physical exhaustion she really hasn't been well
You are are true friend trying to help Marilyn when you are in such a mess yourself Gleds. x
ReplyDeleteNo she's OK. She needs antidepressants I wrote down the name mirtazapine 30mgs. She's stressing about whether she will find the card and whether the person she doesn't know has stolen it will remove her money at 00:30 when it clears so I said cancel in office hours today and say you need the money urgently and they'll give you a ref number over the phone and with IDs you can get the card tomorrow anyway i don't mind lending her money she gave me a whole load of food
ReplyDeleteI hope that you won't score anymore street drugs. It seems like a really bad idea to me.
ReplyDeleteI heard some scary shit about someone being given Warfarin(blood thinner and rat poison....go figure?) instead of valium cos they little blue tabs.But i think you might know the difference.Why won't they give you sleepers?Thats weird.
ReplyDeletefucking hell! wharfarin, that's taking the piss
ReplyDeletethey do give sleepers but the script ran out more than a week ago, i get zopiclone 7.5s which i think are way better than temazepam 20mg, probably as good as at least 30mg temazepam and there's no temptation with me to abuse them taking them earlier than i need to, anything like that
they gave me antipsychotic which was good for one week and did make me sleep but that side effect went quickly away and i ended up not sleeping properly on them at all, then i got side effects and just dumped them the side effects were horrible, like a kind of mental headfucker drowsiness that's not sleepiness just a concussion feeling with lights glaring into my head and i just want to shut my eyes lie down but i can't sleep so i scored a few valium blues to take the edge off i mean if you need valium for antipsychotic that's fucked up i want a different one, i heard quetiapine is really good for sleep and you can take it once at night so that would suit me fine
at the moment i'm on a bit of a high. it makes it really really difficult to be responsible though i know i should take the risperidone i don't even want to come down now i enjoy it too much and the stronger it gets (unless it really starts going OTT which it did last time) the nicer it gets, like free charlie or E or something you'd go clubbing on which is pretty cool but i know it's just my brain going cuckoo on me, problem is when it's going full on i just get swept away by it all, then i'm exhausted and really feel ill like i want to puke, like i've totally overdone it and i just cannot sleep for more than 2 hours, the other day i slept for maybe 10 or even more but i felt REALLY hyped up as the energy banks were FULL FULL FULL after that ... this is why i don't like being sensible because it does my head in, so i try and be sensible when i blog, but spend most of the day just pottering about feeling brilliant and doing nothing except very slowly getting my chaotic house cleaned up!
sorry to go on i hope i answered you properly the old attention span is all over the place these days. i found gear really helped me focus, also so did crack. crack never put me all over the place, it kind of made me feel calm in a way but i hated the jagged paranoid edge and the way you can come down so bad sometimes even off one pipe sometimes in the end i just dumped crack it's a ridiculous expensive drug that gives less than you pay for, as for heroin that is just paying for happiness i know i reapeat it but i repeat it for myself because it's my new mantra "pay nobody to be happy, be happy in your own self" that's my philosophy on life these days