Saturday, August 20, 2011

Sick

MY COMPUTER AND I are both sick. The computer has some cable disconnection and says no disk drive is found. Even though it's right where it's always been. I have caught a common cold and I feel mentally ill. I spent literally all day asleep. When I went outside I couldn't remember why I was there. So I bought some fags and went back home.

That awful X Factor TV programme is back on. It's got worse and worse. Horrible new judges with "attitude". And lots of "exciting" quick cuts back and forth on the "VT". The British X Factor is just second place to the proper American one now, with Simon Cowell over there to do that and not ours because ours isn't important enough. Cheryl Cole's over there too. Does anyone in America know who Cheryl Cole is? She's a really good judge, and I don't think Tulisa from N Dubz or Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child could ever take her place.

Dubz always meant "crack cocaine" in my neighbourhood. It's short for W, meaning "white", as opposed to B which is "brown" (heroin). The Dubz in N Dubz actually refers to NW1, the Camden Town postcode where the band is from. I think they did best in Dubplate Drama, this late night "urban" soap. They made better actors than musicians.

O it's boiling hot. O yeah I've got my coat on. I'm going to bed early tonight. I hope my computer will work in the morning. Otherwise I have to write this book on paper. Actually I was going to write the first draft on paper to focus my mind. I don't even own a printer and I need some way of shifting my words round, keeping what I'd previously put for comparison. I often find if you remember a sentence the way you'd written it before, the words remembered are better than the version you kept officially. Just as with lines of misquoted poetry: they're actually better than the poets' versions.

There's not much else to say. Mrs Li is still teaching me to tell the time in Chinese. The CD got stuck at 5 in the morning, blaring Mandarin sounds around the place like a psychedelic tangerine.

I've got to go; my cheerfulness is running out. I'm really exhausted.

7 comments:

  1. I'm a big N-Dubz fan, I think they are all talented in their own ways. I'm not that keen on seeing Tulisa as an X-Factor judge though. I preferred her when she had street cred.

    Get well soon.

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  2. Cheers. She was a really good actress in that Channel 4 drama. She should get a job as a film star and stop wasting her time on television.

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  3. Hope that you feel better soon. Take it easy Gleds.

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  4. I love watching XFactor, the auditions are hilarious, so many deluded people! Didn't Cheryl Cole get the big E from American XFactor??

    Very informative post about N Dubz Gleds thanks.

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  5. Nah not my cup of tea at all then I don't watch much tv beyond the news. Man flu huh? Hot toddies and panadol, you'll be right mate

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  6. The cold was just a sore throat, probably from smoking too much. The actual illness is probably called "depression". I would never know this if it wasn't for experience, by the way. I don't feel "depressed" about anything. Just tired, ill and flat and very negative. I'm feeling desperate enough to take risperidone again even though it makes me panic (what a shit drug, a "tranquillizer" that causes panic) but it's all I have. I'm just looking forward to going to sleep again.

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