Gledwood Vol 2 (Main blog)

HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

LIVE FROM LONDON

Gledwoods deutscher Blog

Bitte hier klicken ...

DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe) mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!
Showing posts with label charity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label charity. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Nearly Normal...!

... WELL I SHALL BE nearly normal, fairly soon.

The landlord's kindly henchman came by this morning. He mentioned there's still a problem with dirty floors. I pointed out that when you clear as much as I've cleared, clean floors are the last priority. They inevitably get scattered with residue of everything, so Cosmetic Cleaning, I'm afraid, has to wait till last.

I've thrown out ~ literally ~ at least 20 black sacks full of rubbish.

There's still a lot of tidying to do. My clothes need sorting. The 50% or more that don't even fit are due for the hospice shop. Those that are too torn or cigarette-burned to sell on get recycled, so it's all good.

Plus I have a leaning tower of pizza of paperbacks also yearning to be chucked out ~ hopefully sold on at a good £1 each. If only I could find a decent bookshop that takes in second hand books. In my area the second hand book market is a cartel operated by charity shops
who demand all donations FREE. Charity begins at home, MY home. They're getting my clothes free of charge. For my dearly beloved books, I'm afraid, I require a little bit of HARD CASH!

Now I must ping because it's nearly midnight and I wanted to post something on Tuesday.

The real news is in my next post, due in an hour or so ~ HOT NEWS! ~ SIT TIGHT!!

Illustrated: lovely pine floor boards. No mine are nowhere near as clear or as clean as that. And won't be until I move out and some less scruffy bastard moves in!
Posted by at 5 comments:
Labels: , , , , ,

Friday, May 14, 2010

Down with the OSPCA



According to my Toronto Correspondent, the Ontario Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals have slaughtered 99 of their own rescue pets! And another 250 are waiting to be killed!




All of the animals were up for adoption; some had been reserved by happy families who had scheduled dates to take their new pets home.




According to the OSPCA, which is only too happy to step in and prosecute what IT considers cruel, the reason for this "cull" is... (wait for it)... an outbreak of RINGWORM! And even healthy animals are scheduled to be put down.




OSPCA's loyal staff and volunteers have kidnapped and purloined 15 doggies and cats... but the fate of the other 236 hangs in the balance. A temporary stop on the slaughter has been ordained while the organization try to solve the PR nightmare they've brought down on themselves...




Ringworm, apparently, is too serious a disease to bother treating in a humane way.




Well that being so, let's hope the OSPCA's director catches it, then someone can chop her head off and see how she likes it!






Toronto Star report
Toronto Sun report
OSPCA's website
Posted by at 21 comments:
Labels: , , , ,

Monday, February 19, 2007

Charity Appeal - Leave 100 Comments

THIS IS A CHARITY APPEAL on behalf of my friend Ruth. Go to her "million stories" blog which is ruth-boofie.blogspot.com and leave a comment. If she gets 100 comments then £50 goes to a Cancer charity.

Other news of today... let me rack my brains and think of something: I'm not sure that I can. I've been most weary and dozing on the floor for most of this evening. Then the computer so severely misbehaved I seriously never thought I'd get to post - hence my braindeadness (well I'm not going to wind myself up at an essentially locked-out terminal thinking up stuff to say knowing I'll be unable to post it, am I??)

Tomorrow I see the doctor to try and sort self out a bit, so wish me luck with that.

And go to Ruth's blog and jolly her along with those hundred comments. You all know you can do it so don't be shy. Come on!! £50 goes to charity and you don't even have to fork out yourself!! What could be more convenient than that??
Posted by at 17 comments:
Labels: ,
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)

I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

Copyright 2011 by Gledwood