I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.
I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.
My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.
This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.
If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.
PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe) mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...
PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!
FAIRYTALE OF NEW YORK: THE POGUES & KIRSTY MCCOLL Embodying the True Spirit of Xmas, this easily takes the biscuit as as the best festive tune of all time.
Story of Fairytale of New York (10 mins)
MADONNA: SANTA BABY Throw out any Madonna-preconceptions you might have, and you'll hear one of the best ever recordings of this song. You may well have heard this before, not even realizing who it was ... This was recorded for a charity Xmas album so the song has never been released as a single. It is, however Madonna's most downloaded album track. The video is a montage of True Blue, Material Girl and a live Oscars performance of Sondheim's Sooner or Later (from Dick Tracy) spliced together by a fan. Whoever did this has a professional's eye for video. It's brilliantly well done.
All by myself I don't need anyone at all I know I'll survive I know I'll stay alive, All on my own I don't need anyone this time It will be mine No one can take it from me You'll see
You think that you are strong, but you are weak You'll see, It takes more strength to cry, admit defeat. I have truth on my side, You only have deceit You'll see, somehow, someday
Susan Boyle version. There is no official video. Here's a home-made clips montage layered over the studio recording of this beautiful tune:
Madonna sings. To make the film Evita, she had her voice professionally trained. This recording dates from this time, and is one of Madonna's strongest vocals. The video was shot in Argentina "on my day off from Evita" ~ Madonna complained. But it's quite good:
NO NEWS except I've been irritatedly dragging myself to and from counselling sessions, trips into hospital to see sick friends, daily trips to the chemist (thanks to bitch druggieworker who put me back on daily pickup some months ago ~ she does that. Fine. But she ain't gettin' no favours off me. Or insights. Or revelations. I don't trust her.) In other words I've been running thanklessly to and fro when all I want to do is stay in alone with my book with doors locked and the phone switched to silent.
I've been having pub-lunch style roast beef dinners nearly every day courtesy of Iceland, the wondrous frozen food store. They sell Sliced Beef in Gravy 200g for £1; Cauliflower and Broccoli Cheese 680g (3 big portions) for £1.50. It's 30% cauliflower, 30% brocooli; 60% creamy cheese sauce. The creamy cheese sauce is yummy and melts all over the plate. Despite instructions claiming 45 mins is required the whole lot's done in half an hour in a non-preheated oven at 225C.
This I put in with Potato Croquettes, which in case you're not working class British are tubular mashed potato shapes covered in a delightful crispy crumb coating. With these I put in a couple of industrially pre-done Yorkshire Puddings. You fork in some of the industrially cheeserunny broccoli and some industrially thin-cut roast beef (sliced in the manner only large canteens manage to do ~ no-one ever naturally gnashes roast beef like that at home.
All in all it's very lovely with a cyder-passionfruit cocktail "of" an evening... In fact ~ surprise, surprise! ~ I think I might have it again tonight!
Here's a clubbed-up mix of Madonna's Celebration:~
I wandered along the Outer Circle, peering through the hedges at the exclusive homes of Chester Terrace (top right).
One day I'm going to live in a house like that and nobody will be able to call me scum.
Though North of the Park (Hyde Park!)/South of the River. Inconsolably vulgar! Plus miles from the shops (that is, the proper shops of Knightsbridge, Sloane Square and the Kings Road) though Regents Park does have the consolation of being near Camden, most convenient for the individual who wishes to live in a 5-storey £10 million* single-fronted stucco'd townhouse in easy reach of indoor markets selling funky fluorescing clubgear...
{*ooo! correction less than £5 million. Number 9 Chester terrace is on sale as we speak. As I say they were only 5 stories and single-fronted (I'd prefer the double-fronted cuboid houses with gargantuan bay windows in Holland Park; that's where I'd actually go if not Chelsea or Knightsbridge) ~ not to mention vulgarly north of "thee" park and execrably pokey.
{I certainly wouldn't feel out of place in prime West London property. And unlike certain vulgar celebrities, when I make my millions I most certainly shall not be shipping out to an outsized Barrat Home in East Essex!
{(Though Barratt have knocked up some delightfully steel-and-glass yuppie flats in the former East London docklands...)...}
Madonna lives near Regent's Park, but I didn't catch sight of her jogging.
The main attraction here (apart from London zoo which I didn't have time, let alone money to poke round) was the supposed red squirrels of North Regents Park, which I've seen with my own eyes (albeit when I was all of seven years old).
But disappointment on disappointment. Nary a squirrel to be found...
And the only ones that were were grey
VIDEOS:
1: PINGPING: WORLD'S SMALLEST MAN!
It's oGuinness Book of Recordsfficial. He Pingping, from Chinese inner Mongolia, aged 20 is a big hit with the ladies. This week he was in London promoting the 2009 , in which he claims said title. This guy is barely more than 2 ft tall!
!
2: JACK RUSSEL VS KITTYCAT
There was supposed to be a video of Pingping wrestling a housecat. But being as I can't find that, thought this dwarf dog rolling on the carpet with a much larger tabby would suffice...
"MADONNA" HAS CLOSED "HER" BLOG AND FLED THE INTERNET!
Does anyone remember my confession that I'd "found Madonna's blog"?
Then I had to print a squeamish retraction because I'd plumbed right into the first few posts and it was so obvious a parodying or lampooning blog there was no way Madonna had a hand in it let alone wrote any of it herself...
Well I caused a bit of trouble by suggesting to one of her number one fans that all was not as it seemed in Madonnaland ~ only for an angry, defensive reaction to appear in "Madonna" herself's comments which stated Madonna definitely did write the blog.
What had started off as a blatant pee-pee-taking site had morphed into something that appeared more and more reasonably that it COULD have been Madonna's blog... and to judge by the scores of fawning comments the public at large across 50 countries were also convinced.
Only the subtlest little giveaways remained in the end... Perhaps the greatest being that "Madonna" had read and enjoyed an advance copy of Harry Potter and the Bloodstained Gallows - when we all knew Bloomsbury and Scholastic had gone to such lengths that only THREE people in the world had officially perused the manuscript...
... Also all those little pictures of Madonna's records and books about her were actually adverts from Amazon.com... something I didn't realize at first. As if the real Madonna would stoop to that!
Anyway I don't happen, but I'm sure it wasn't my comment that rocked the boat. Probably a stiff letter from her Madgesty's lawyers ordering that facts be straightened out and the blog closed. For suddenly a confession appeared and the blog plus its announced successor have disappeared into cyber black holes...
... Ho-hum. And aparently newspapers from as far away as Taiwan were clamouring for interviews with the man who convinced the world he was Madonna (and I'm sure it WAS a man... just something to do with the writing... I can't be more precise than that...)
This poor man is reduced now to a cowering wreck, shivering behind a computer somewhere in the wilds of Kansas/Ohio/Nebraska...
As my Dad used to tell me in childhood times, and as the Bible says: "Be sure your sins will find you out!"
Other video of the Day: "Judderman" - Metz Schnapps commercial ~ this was voted the telly ad "most likely to frighten young children". Have a look and you'll probably see why!
WOKE UP MIDDAY: LATE, crawled up the high road into my local "town" (nobody goes shopping in Central London (at least not normally) unless they practically live there) ... I was sweating like a swine when I got there. I rang "da man": the first time it took my money ~ansafone, I got paranoid it was switched off;~ tried again from another box five mins later, a woman answered. Not a good sign. Piled more money into phone box as she summoned da man out of bed. A horror-film voice spoke to me. He'd been in deep sleep. (It was now long after one pm. Pathetic.) He said he'd call me and say where to come presently. I said this was not possible because my phone is so knackered it might well hang up on him mid call. So he said go to my friend's flat (who is now clean). I said I cannot do that; I'll meet you on the stairs. So I stayed there for ages scribbling in notebook and sweating horribly. Eventually, another two calls and over an hour later he did come. By which time I was in such a disgusting state I had to call on my friend Mother Hubbs to use her bathroom facilities (mine still aren't up to scratch.) She had kindly washed my clothes for me, so I did a complete change ... read the Saturday Mirror (full of crap) watched an amusing thing about ancient Rome being sacked by Barbarians (they looked like the old crusties we used to know from the park!) Got home. Got a vein (thankfully). Feel human again. And clean. Even though I'm (drugs-wise) dirty ... but that's the junkie life ... Ho-hum ...
***
THE BLOG I HAD HOPED was Madonna's I've now confirmed is not. If you click here it will take you back to the first week's posts on said blog. And you'll see beyond a doubt that it is a spoof that took off over the months into something a little bit more. Sorry to anyone who was taken in but I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt now that it is not Madonna's personal site at all!
MADONNA'S OFF. Strange that such a supposedly international superstar should cause such offence but then again, to repeat a highly unoriginal point: she did build a career out of that. (And so she loves to deny.) I wonder if Michael Jackson would be any more popular? It's only when he got in trouble that people came out of the woodwork and admitted to actually liking him and saying they found his music funky. In many ways he is Madonna's opposite: he mainstreamed himself out so bad he nearly lost all "flava". Also I don't think his recordings do his voice much justice at all. Hearing candid snatches of his singing in documentaries &c - a warm, unusually rich tone resonates out. Far form the helium-shriek he made his trade mark on, particularly, the Bad album ... Ho-hum. The tribulations of a superstar. They say MJ's nearly bankrupt because he feels the need for at least twenty staff to trail behind him wherever he goes. I say Michael drop the staff. Take those veils off your kids' faces for they'll loathe you for them when they're older. And learn to cook for yourself. I've a fantastic recipe for beef stew if you'd only look below!
*** My two blogs of the day: (1) Creative Writing Blog: Toni V Lee (2) Living in Shanghai: Val in China Both well worth a look!
***
OK the verdict is: this blog definitely stays nonmusical. (Unless the music is actively turned ON.)
Michael Jackson = my little joke
but he does seem to have more fans than anyone else.
Also I don't remember ever hearing anyone say theydon't like his music. Which is pretty much a triumph for MJ, don't you think .... (?)
I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!
METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH
Heroin Shortage: News
If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.
Christiane F
"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools.
Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross...
Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way.CHRISTIANE F:
TRAILER
You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.
To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...
DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today? If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!
Drugs Videos
Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.
If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.
Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"
In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"
Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).
Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"
Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.
Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).
Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...
And lastly:
German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!
Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?
Here's the 4-methylmethcathinone molecule. This is the "cocaine plus ecstasy"-style "legal high" I took that time and didn't even know what it was... After a brief but intense craze for meow, it was eventually banned in the UK in April 2010
If you wanna see what manic looks like, watch this. If this is the mood she stayed in all day she'd be moderately manic (severely manic is literally all over the place verging into complete incoherence)... I have been known to yell the same stuff over and over, which is why I like this:
Ferry Corsten remix. William Orbit performance. Samuel Barber's Adagio
DJ Seduction: Starlight August 1992
I love this style of music and WHY do kidz today call it OLD SCHOOL? MAKE ME FEEL ANCIENT WHY DONCHA! I really like that ting-ting-tong tune that comes into it about 3 mins in "release the spirit" yeah....! Respect goin' out LizzyD Yeah ;-)
Angelina Joelie: Crazy Chic
Girl Interrupted: best scenes
Mozart's Requiem Tranced Up
I like danced-up tunes now that I'm "OLD". Like this one... The actual name of the tune is "lacrimosa" which means sad. Which is weird it actually sounds uplifting. but there ya go:~~~~~~~~
Click herefor the Drought Post, news is in the comments.
Because there's more than 200 comments, look closely at the bottom of the form for for "Newer/Newest" - THAT is where you click to find most recent comments.
PETITION THE GOVT FOR PROPER PRESCRIBING TO ADDICTS: CLICK HERE
In which Syd is a brave boy
-
We'd only just started our walk this afternoon when Syd did his 'Nope, I'm
not moving' sit-down protest. I decided to call his bluff.
"Okay, we'll stay h...
BROWNIES!
-
Not the organisation, a section of the Girl Guides, that I refused to join
as a child because I didn't want to swear allegiance to the monarch - some
th...
After Writer's Block by Janice Seagraves
-
After I experienced writer's block a few years ago, I decided to be nicer
to myself.
But so far this year, I have been having the worst time writing. ...
HODGEPODGE DECEMBER 18
-
1. What's one thing on your to-do list that you want to get done, need to
get done, or that must get done before the year ends?
*Youpee, my "To do li...
Cancer Update
-
Dear Readers,
I need to apologize to you all. I have not provided any updates from my
last post about my cancer diagnosis. So here we go.
(if you are ...
Blogging Break
-
I'm taking a break from blogging, for two major reasons :a. I find it
hard to concentrate on chosen topics, while there's war and tragedy going
on in m...
Just a Thought for the HBO Execs
-
I want to rename Game of Thrones, “Two Crazy-Assed Bitches.” Mail me my
check, motherfuckers! Actually three crazy-assed bitches if you count
Sansa. The me...
Souls of the Goldhawk Road
-
It was one of those tawdry summer evenings and all I could think about was
the heat. It was everywhere, stuffy and humid and crucifying even at that
late...
Yeah
-
No, I am not returning, just updating out of boredom. Plus writing on my
phone sucks, so it won't be a long post.
Yep my book sucks, makes close to no mon...
The (complete) rainbowrain
-
Today is the last time I'll post blog-photos from my work as tomorrow, the
last day of this blog is a Saturday. So you can enjoy this view one more
time ...
Twelve Months
-
I can't believe it's almost 12 months since I posted anything on my blog!
I confess I've been spending a lot of time on Facebook - I know you think
I'm a t...
Graphic Wisdom to Begin 2016
-
*By three methods we may learn wisdom: *
*First, by reflection, which is noblest; *
*Second, by imitation, which is easiest; *
*and third by experience, wh...
Obat Herbal Stroke Berat dan Ringan
-
*Obat Herbal Stroke* - Penyakit ini terjadi karena peredaran darah didalam
organ otak mengalami penyumbatan atau gangguan. Penyakit Stroke ini adalah
adany...
Iboga- A Magic Bullet?
-
Thoughts and random musings
I get the feeling, that this blog and therefore, my own thoughts and
behaviours are, to the average reader, quite controversi...
The People You Meet
-
Not saying this is a come back of any type, but after farewelling my
darling friend Jeffrey today, I felt the overwhelming need to blog. Met a
weird Japan...
Despair and Dissolution
-
I haven't written partly because I was confused by the new setup. Took me
ages just to get to my blog. Frustration.
Everyone can say "I told you so". Hate...
A long time coming....
-
I cannot believe I have neglected this blog for so long.
Just to let you know I will be uploading a post in the next couple of days.
Things are good.
My hea...
Gone but never forgotten
-
Hello everyone....
Saturday the 24th May would of been Merle's 80th birthday...
Unfortunately she is gone, but never forgotten...
I just thought I would...
Everything in it's place
-
Yum.That people are reading this in Israel and Indonesia, as well as so
many other places around the world that I never would've expected is pretty
fuckin...
How to Negotiate With Used Cars Dealers
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Car traders have excellent discussing abilities. They know how to deal with
their clients with their methods and methods to make sure that they shop.
Amazi...
starry starry night…
-
Ho Ho Ho! Hope everyone had a merry fucking Christmas and will enjoy a
drunken orgy of pleasure on New Years Eve. I had a nice Christmas Day with
Melinda(a...
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
-
.....I think the time has come to acknowledge that I'm not actually
blogging any more.....
PLUS
I'm off on Sunday for a Big Adventure Down Under, with L...
Drug Law Reform - NZ Show Australia How it's Done
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It seems that our New Zealand cousins are finally taking some much needed
action on drug law reform. Australia should take note of this and consider
caref...
Daze of Summer
-
Her mentor is one of the most gentle people on the planet. He catches flies
in his hands and sets them free outside his studio, and he flicks
mosquitoes a...
Musings
-
A week has passed since my last post and it's been a week of contrasts.
Right smack bang in the middle of week, Wednesday, was Australia Day, a
public holi...
Who buys CRACK without Brown ?
-
See these F.cking dealers up here they cant get the brown sold cause its
shite so lots of people are just buying Whisky and im thinking to myself No
For Me...
-
Would you trust someone who was never sure if they loved you?
I want to be held (or posses a large amount of drugs)
I want to be skinny and pretty
I want...
The Neighbour's Gun
-
I remember those lazy summer nights. In my light, light dress, I would open
the window and gaze at the moon in the night. I would look and almost feel
th...
THIS is classic slice-of-life video; filmed from a sushibar conveyor belt in Japan. You don't need sound for this one (unless you speak Japanese...)
Never Mind The Balearics...
LOST WEEKENDS... Lost weeks... Lost lives...
THE SPANISH ISLE of Ibiza is the "spiritual home" of much British dance music...
Eva Cassidy: Autumn Leaves
I wonder if Autumn is as miserable your end as it is here..? This song wonderfully reinterpreted by Eva Cassidy (I think) brought tears to my eyes when I first heard it. See what you think ...
Christiane F
Christiane F
("Wir Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo")
Berlin has long been a centre of "alternative" living, attracting the artistic and dejected. And of course heroin rushes into such a void:
You can see the film in its entirety by clicking HERE.
These are my 3 roborovski hamsters!
(And now there is one...) Itchy, Bashful and Spherical... Itchy, the scruffy, dopey (and tamest one) died a few weeks ago. I was very ****** off (no swearing on this blog (or I'd be effing and blinding all the time...)). Spherical and Bashful were the remaining "Trotters" aka Hamsta MCs, Carrot Nose and Trotter Donkey ... until Trotterdonkey died and now poor Spherical Carrot Nose remains alone ...
What name should I give to my fictional slavering English mastiff hellhound..??
Name the Uncooth Doggie...
NOW I'M PUTTING UP A NEW POLL...My forthcoming fiction shall feature a giant, ill-tempered slavering hellhound of an English Mastiff who spends her time savaging pram wheels, dolls, etc; pulling soft toys apart... growling at houseguests, baying at the light fittings etc etc. She has a total personality change, however, when she gets "raped" down the park by a local rottweiler... leading to a howling, baying, snaggle-toothed litter of puppies!Anyway, which of these three names do you think fits best?(In alphabetical order)GwendolinaPansyTinkerbelle???Vote now ...!!
London Time
GMT (aka "Universal Standard Time"):
ahead of the Americas; behind everywhere else...
Trisch & Jen on the phone
Real life spooky phone call. Trisch Li is speaking to her friend Jen, who has a stalker sneaking round the side of her house. I Love the film exposure. I love the funky background. And I love Trisch. She had bipolar. She died. She left some amazing stuff behind ...You can see Trisch manic here.
Moby: Go
Anyone who was a Twin Peaks fan will know this tune: the in-sequence floaty tune played in-episode (not the theme tune) that made that tellyprog so dreamy.
This tune is something else:~~~~~~~
Future Sound of London: Papua New Guinea
THIS tune is transcendently beautiful.
Thank you to Lizzy who reminded me:~~~~~~~
The Orb: Little Fluffy Clouds (Danny Tengalia)
Archetypal triphead/herb-tokers' tune ...
Urban Shakedown: Some Justice
One of my all time favourite "hardcore" rave tunes. The "woman" singing "we live as one family" is actually a man speeded up. The primal line "Now eeeee-yeah-oh-eeeee-yeah we live as one family," sounded to me like the sun rising at psychedelic dawn. For a long time there was forever a part of me left from this 1991-1992 era, still out there, tripping in a certain corn-on-the-cob field at dawn...
Praga Khan: Injected with a Poison
Sums up what my attitude used to be and is once again to gear. That because, "There's a rainbow inside your mind ... Injected with a poison.... we don't need that any more."
Scott McKenzie: San Francisco
I really used to believe all this crap with all my heart. Peace and love and chemical dreams. If you've ever tripped out high upon higher and sublime upon sublime there is no way of bringing the beauty of the experience back with you... I once had a friend down who brought some cocaine. I did some lines and was soon stuck to the ceiling. I had tickets for a rave in south London. He was too wasted to go. So I had to negotiate an hour and a half nightbus ride all the way down. By Trafalgar Square I was eeing out on 2 pills as well and my eyes such massive discs I couldn't read the bus time tables and had to tell passers-by I'd "forgotten my reading glasses" (how embarrassing)... then I arrived around 3pm. DUR! Not pm (wasn't THAT late 3AM): though these pills didn't wear off till well after 11am which made them superstrong... anyhow... Security let me straight in I'd obviously taken all my drugs (indeed I had: felt like I was flying by this point)... first person I encountered was a middle-aged woman in a ball gown swaying back and forth in the foyer (Brixton Academy: a venue for 5000) I told her: "you are so cool". We subsequently made friends. Watching this video and seeing how stuck in the neverending moment of bliss some "flower kids" are I remember this lady having to tell me: "there's the party. Then the party's over. You have to accept that." But I never could. I wanted happiness to last for ever...
SCOTT MACKENZIE HAS GONE (copyright reasons)
HERE'S JOE BELTRAM 1990 ENERGY FLASH
Who is the superior writer? (From... in no particular order...)
Itchy's "Windy" Face
Not because she has the "farts" but because she "runs like the wind on a windy day" this is Itchy's look when she is nervous...
Bashful and Spherical look like this
(Itchy is a bit smaller)
Bashful's Lookie-Lykie
Hello you Tiny Tubby! Roborovskis are the tiniest of all hamsters, being a mere 5cm/2" fully grown... "Bashful" is pulling a bit of a grumpy face here; but hey!
Should my daily videos stay giant on the top or go mini on my sidebar? (You can only vote once.)
Doggie or Kittie?
You Are: 50% Dog, 50% Cat
You are a nice blend of cat and dog.
You're playful but not too needy. And you're friendly but careful.
And while you have your moody moments, you're too happy to stay upset for long.
38 year-old guy, 6 blogs (the main one is gledwood vol 2 so go there for new postings: blogs are linked via my sidebars), I also have 3 video blogs. One mainly music vids, the other random "novelty" clips from Youtube/etc. The third is my Fabulous Celebrity Blog for fans of trash culture. Unfortunately addicted to drugs - yes it was my own fault but what can I do about it now? Addicted means trapped & can't stop. That's how addicted I am. But that's not ALL I blog about. Apart from drugs I love drink. Apart from drink I'm into little furry animals like Pingpong, my Chinese hamster, and my 3 roborovski hamsters: Itchy, Bashful and Spherical... and ... er, food. Lately there has been a drought of the substance that enslaved me for so long. Will I clean up? Only time will tell...
Fun, comforting, and friendly.
You are a true classic, and while you're not super cutting edge, you're high quality.
People love your company - and have even been known to get addicted to you.
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