OK HERE’S MY CRITIQUE of the Sunday papers. (But cheapskate that I am I only BOUGHT News of the World)…
SUNDAY SPORT … 1001 NIPPLES INSIDE
SUNDAY MIRROR … SHAMELSSS JO: I’m NOT sorry & I’d do it AGAIN. (This is to do with “Celebrity” Big Brother racism row: Jade Goody (prize Essex thicko), Jo O’Meara (abovementioned) former S-Club Seven (teenybopperbandmember) and (soccer) footballer Teddy Sheringham’s vulgar-mouthed model partner got into race-spat with actually proper famous 1000,000,000 people following Indian Bollywood actress Shipla Shetty.
It wasn’t racism at all in my opinion. Merely girlie jealousy. But you try telling the British tabloids that. (Michael Jackson’s brother Jermaine was also in the house. If these three Brit girls were so “racist” why did they never have a go at HIM??)
THE PEOPLE … JO’S HOOKED ON SEX & GAMBLING BIG BROTHER EXCLUSIVE. PLUS DIRK RACE STORM. (Same Jo. Who the hell this Dirk is I haven’t a clue I’m not wasting my money on that paper.) Then…
(Massive headline.) DEC BROKE MY HEART. (Declan Dontknowhissurname was in kids’ TV show Byker Grove then went on to present ITV chart show and is now joint KING with (male) partner ANT of SATURDAY NIGHT TV. But he is hetero.
NEWS OF THE WORLD … World’s oldest mum at 67 (huge red figures) — photographer wisely used “extra wrinkle” lighting.
Ooo. There’s more “news” inside…
Is KYLIE (Minogue — Aussie songstress’)’S LOVER 2-TIMING HER?
“Olivier (her boyf) in secret hotel trysts with beauties”.
Then we launch into main “text” …. COURAGEOUS (because she’s “battling breast cancer” — they love their alliteration) blahblah four-year romance with duh duh.
Friends say (what “friends" ever talk to News of the World??) the couple are locked in bitter rows over their relationship.
And well that’s the story. Move ON to page…
OK in the corner of that one Mad dog mauls 2” that is a current obsession — pitbulls. Yes. And here’s another.
322 Sex fiends on the loose.
Because our Home Office doesn’t know its bum from its elbow.
Where’s KATE MOSS… Surely KATE MOSS is somewhere. O! I’ve found her!
KATE FACES AXE …!! Oh DEAR!!!
Rimmel (cheap Maybellinw type company) ‘looking for younger model’.
Big Pete Doherty snap.
Brooding Kate pic caption: LIP STICK. Kate’s getting ‘too old’.
Rimmel … secretly holding castings for young girls to find a replacement for Kate, who turned 33 this month.
A source said (they nicked this expression from the National Enquirer): “Age catches up with everyone — even Kate.” O you don’t SAY??
Considering not TOO long ago she was “Cocaine Kate” to all the press. She somehow redeemed herself & they’re frustratedly implying (v. B-tween the lines) that she’s USING AGAIN. Well she’s “marrying Pete Doherty” for 1. But NOTHING IS PROVEN wind back a decade ago it was the “Kate’s on heroin” rumour. I’m not sure I believed that one; you can’t travel the world on heroin without A: a connexion near every airport or B: trafficking.
OK. Blar blar blar. O yes here’s where it gets stupid. “But she was kept on and secured more deals with other companies to take her earnings last year to £30 million.
DON’T BELIEVE THAT.
Though Mother Hubbard who I’m probably NOT having dinner with 2day actually BELIEVED concrete-breasted Katie Price/”Jordan”’s “I earnt £1 BILLION tabloid claim.
Well there y’are.
Saved yourself EIGHTY-FIVE PENCE THERE DIDN’T YOU?
So don’t buy the News of the World.
Thanks Gledwood; I couldn't get out to buy a paper today...now I've caught up with all the gossip thanks to you
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Hey I'm glad I did someone a service. And your "muffins" (what the hell am I MEANT to call'em?)- they genuinely did give me a laugh. Even on this miserable day.
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with me? I keep snoozing then having bad dreams about getting in trouble im my comments section...
ReplyDeleteyes, thanks...my mum in law passes those types of papers to me and i like the pictures. the racism card is overplayed...everything seems to fall under that category now
ReplyDeleteCan't find any meaning for "blog comment box" dreams! Beat I can do is "computer" which means New Areas Opening....that could mean anything I guess!!!
ReplyDeleteYeah can you imagine a 2007 Dream Book: Comments Box. What does that mean? One's personal interface with the outside world, I'd guess.
ReplyDelete& how come my name came out black there? Ah! It's bc I'd 4gotten 2fill in my url.
Hi, Gledwood -- I'm okay. Sorry to have worried you! I posted an explanation of the delay on my blog.
ReplyDeleteI'll do the six weird things tomorrow, tentatively. That sounds fun.
Yes indeed, the British press has a fixation with Kate Moss. And Victoria Beckham. I can at least begin to understand the latter. The former puzzles me.
Our press here in the States is about as absurd as yours is. But you did manage to get a reply from a UK press goddes, didn't you? So far I've stayed under the screen, so to speak.
Pete Doherty is my hero
ReplyDeletePete Doherty is always getting arrested for drugs possession. He has his v distinctive face & makes self even more distinctive with hats. And wonders why he gets trouble.
ReplyDeleteI wonder whether he is posh? That would explain a lot of things.
looked for you on mybloglog...guess you didn't find me through there.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say thanks for stopping by though!
GREAT BLOG btw.
Question for you. Did you create your blog with New Bloger (Google) or Old Blogger?
ReplyDeleteFar as I know I created it via New Blogger. But it is not "Beta".
ReplyDeleteDoes that make any sense?
It's a lefthandside click.
If anyone knows "Beta" and what it supposedly was and what the difference between old and new google or blogger are, could you please be so kind as to tell me. Because it's one of those things that irritates me by google attemptedly convincing me my life shall be complete by knowing...
Hi!! I was cruising by with that "next blog" button then I found yours I can't speak any Portuguese at all I'm afraid but I noticed that beautiful picture of the waterfall. Is that just artwork or is it something near you? It looks wonderful.
ReplyDeleteI was half joking leaving the message bc I wasn't sure you'd understand it, glad you did...
I didn't realize Big Brother UK had got to Brazil!!!! That's crazy. You want to know my opinion? There were 3 English girls in that house with one Indian. Now you have to bear in mind we have a LOT of Indians in this country so they are hardly foreign to us. Britain's national dish is "chicken tikka masala" - ie an Indian-inspired dish. We have a close relationship as nations go with India (I think). Anyhow the 3 English girls I believe were jealous of Shilpa bc she is prettier than them, also she is far more famous in her own country: she is a movie star of Julia Roberts/Angelina Joelie stature. I don't believe it was genuine racism at all, rather viciousness, bullying etc dressed up in racist clothes (which is a VERY different thing). As I pointed out, there was a black man in the house. If these people were so racist, why did they not have a go at him.
Hi Alyx as I said to the Brazilian people, I was out blog-cruising last night, that's how I found yours. I particularly loved your doggie blog, I said hi there. Thanks for saying hi on mine.
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