America the Beautiful

O WHAT A WONDROUS LAND yous people reside in! (Some 40% of my readers, according to the widget.) How mighty is the Great Ole US of A. New York City is the only place on the planet to vye with London in my affections as Town of Most Attractions. Both cities have a valid claim to being Centre of the Universe as regards eating, drinking, shopping, theatre and nightlife of all descriptions.

The local populace might claim to "heart NY"; London, of course, being British, proclaims its charms in a far more delicate and understated fashion. We sell many a Union Flag coffe mug to the overseas tourists, perhaps picturing HM the Queen or a face-pierced punk with scarlet steggasaurus (hairdo) in the middle.

If immigration and visas weren't an issue I'm sure I'd have ensconced myself in New York City at the first opportunity. But there was no opportunity. And besides, New York's metropolitan wonders are parallelled, if not exceeded by London's. The shopping is every bit as good (though pricier with a 17.5% "value added" sales tax that non-EU residents are entitled to claim back). West End theatres actually outgross Broadway's and are considered by cognoscenti to have the edge. English cuisine, long the laughing stock of the international smart set, can now hold its head up among the gastronomic pillars of the world (not just the elephant-leg pillars of doner kebabs). Our museums and galleries are world-class, showcasing, as they do, the booty of a former world empire upon which the sun never set... Even New Yorkers grudgingly admit that the London contemporary art scene's where it's "at". And in my partying days New York City could barely hold a candle to London's glowstickin' strobe-befuddled swingin' extravaganzas...

So all in all I'm glad I came.

But I would still love to live in Manhattan for a time. As soon as I've got well, got drugs out of my system and taken up the mantle of romancier extraordinaire! Every night I shall hobnob among the most exaulted literary circles, just like a character in a Woody Allen movie all of my own. But I'll skip the psychotherapy. Woody Allen is a walking, talking billboard of why "therapy" is a waste of time...

AND NOW ON TO THE ELECTION. Has Obama won yet? Polling is rolling as we speak...

Oh, if only you'd gone for Hillary! And not a 50% white man, strong on the Martin Luther King impersonations, weak on policies, who calls himself black. On the radio this morning a little feature dug into his mixed racedness and how can he claim to be black when he's equally white and a hardline PC feminist type said "well he calls himself black so that's what he is" oh can I be Chinese then? I've just decided that's what I am...

AS FOR SARAH PALIN couldn't Hillary just wipe the floor with her? Especially in a lesbian mud-wrestling brawl. Or failing that a televised political debate. But beware, Hillary! Sarah Palin does have international experience as she herself pointed out she is governor of a state sandwiched between Russia and Canada! (Well what about me then? Quadrated between Ireland, Norway, Flanders and France...?)

What's the great glory of a "black" president? If all races truly are the same he will bring nothing new whatsoever to the job.

Women, however are a truly separate species and I speak as the subject of a reigning queen and former subject of Margaret Thatcher who outshone the Queen even if she did have the falsest posh voice this side of Rotherham multistorey car park. America you don't know the chances you've lost chucking Hillary into political wilderness for yet four more years. All I can hope for is Obama being such a failure, perhaps to unforseen circumstance, that Hillary can trundle in like a steam roller to sort him out.

If McCain does get in, by the way, I stand to win £15. Couldn't resist plonking some cash on that "eventuality"...

OK cheerio folks. Don't commit suicide when everything goes wrong politically tonight. faced with a choice like that (not to mention a ridiculous "electoral college" system that makes even the British first past the post constituency system look just, I'd want to slit my wrists too...

Hey that was a bit strong.
Put another way. BRING IN HILLARY. Let Obama be VP... Ya know it makes sense, come on!!