I WAS ALL FOR PURCHASING AN ELECTRONIC CIGARETTE this morning ~ (for giving up smoking, obviously). This stick looks just like an ordinary cig and indeed lights up when dragged on. It also delivers heated "atomized" nicotine from replacable cartridges. No smoke is involved and you can theoretically "smoke" one anywhere ~ though explaining this to a brain-dead security guard might take quite some doing.But imagine my horror when I discovered that one such cigarette, a charger and spare lithium battery complete with only 2 full strength cartridges (you get 4 weaker ones but they're useless to me ~ I can easily do 40 cigs a day and you want to see the ashtray-like stains on my inner teeth ~ absolutely disgusting. Anyway imagine my horror when I found out the introductory pack was £43!!!!!!!
Having recoiled and (partially) recovered I thought "well I could save up for one". Of course, unlike far less glamorous smoking cessation products these are not available on the NHS.
I did once try Zyban (buproprion) a USA-licensed antidepressant licensed here only for giving up smoking. Basically you take it for a week. Smoke as normal. Nothing happens. Carry on taking it. Within 2 weeks cigs taste of old tyres and the desire to light up all the time rapidly diminishes...
Talking of antidepressants, I only took Zyban for 2 weeks and got no untoward effects. Now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place regarding these because I'm feeling more and more I need them ~ exhausted all the time, wading through mud, dismal blah blah ~ and yet they tend to have the most extreme effects on me when they do work (sometimes they do nothing at all). 
Suddenly from sluggish, morose and boring I'm hyper-alert, rushing around, barely sleeping at all etc etc. The last one I tried (Zispin/mirtazapine) actually made me hallucinate a dead body in the bathroom mirror (not my reflection, it was reflecting sideways so this corpse was hanging "off the side of the door"). It was well creepy and refused to go away for over 5 minutes. And no I didn't dare try and touch it. It was actually sparked by a load of "drying" clothes (in other words clothes stored there for lack of any better place to go...) At the time I was blaming all this on my efforts to quit drink so I really don't know. What I do know is I'm too tired to risk flipping like this. And also, within a few weeks the initial excitement had totally worn off and, despite continuing with the pills I was feeling more depressed than ever before! So what on earth am I going to do?
I had the concluding interview about my psyche. The Operative had shrunk back from the Childhood Monster Theory (thank God) and we tried to tackle the issue in an adult way (certainly a first for me). Then I go bang into a meeting with my druggie worker who bangs on at me that I'm not depressed at all. I just enjoy shutting myself up alone 24-7 and need to be forced out under duress and psychologically broken and remoulded in the image of the virus that spawned HER.Nasty business!
NOW HERE'S A TUNE... this is always voted Greatest of all Time in UK polls...
And here's another, in honour of what the Druggie Service are doing to my head...
I think this proves what an A1 voice Farrouk Bulsara/Freddie Mercury had...
Wow - you have an extremely addictive personality. Or perhaps it's your body. As if you are exceedingly sensitive to certain pleasures out there but not necessarily to their substitutes. Have none of your workers or doctors picked up on that? I've often wondered about that aspect of things. ie: my husband has a very sensitive nose and taste buds and I think even the textures etc. are pleasurable - he obviously gets far more pleasure from eating than I ever did.
ReplyDeleteI like to drink more for its anaesthetic properties - to stop feeling.
It's very interesting isn't it? From a clinical view - not that it doesn't put you through hell. I wonder if there's any way to mellow - but if it feels so good to you - why would you want to? You need to find something beneficial that makes you feel good. - (Like your nutritious meals which you also seem to love)
the worst thing is I'm almost immune to heroin and had a high tolerance from the start, but anything liable to cause hallucinations has a REALLY STRONG effect on me
ReplyDeleteno idea why!
think i'll stick to boil int bag cooking from now...
anti-Ds just depress me. They had me taking the tricylics, SSRI's and anti-seizure meds for migraines there for awhile and I was just fucking miserable. Opiates are the best anti-Ds out there IMHO and somewhere I read a medical paper on using small amounts of opiates for just that. Here is a PDF document on how buprenorphine effects depression.
ReplyDeleteI think my brain just does not like being perturbed by these things... buprenorphine (when I tried it) made me heartily SICK then came on to me in a huge vivid rush. Suddenly colours were bright, music 10x more intense again I could barely sleep... it settled down within a week but I don't like feeling unsettled like that, in the end I felt I needed Valium to dampen myself down.
ReplyDelete43 £ for a cigarette without smoke ??? Crazy ! When I was 20 everybody smoked and everywhere, even in museums, cinemas, shows courtroom etc. and I have friends they are a lot older than me. I think this cigarette witch hunting is only business ! Stone men already smoked !
ReplyDeleteYeah ~ I remember getting told off for walking into a shop with smoke coming out of my face... (exhaling)... THEN I thought to myself, see the farcicalness of this, imagine walking about in ancient history smoking like that... it's mad, man! Crazy!!
ReplyDeleteYeah. i ordered two anyway. In the long run, it's still a bit cheaper than cigs in the us, thanks to the great obama, cig tax went up $2 a pack in the last month....
ReplyDeleteI'll give em a try.
You must not forget to remind yourself of all what you have accomplished!
ReplyDeleteExercise releases the same dopamines as drugs. Could you not use your addictive personality for good and simply become addicted to something more healthy?
I know that sounds simplistic, and ,except for smoking, I have never been addicted to anything-except Diet coke and chocolate- but the rush from exercise is incredible.
I have a very addictive personality. After 18 years I quit smoking 2 years ago with the good 'old nicotine patch - I liked still having it pulsing through my blood less and less to give my brain time to work through the mental withdrawals. I also joined a gym so I wouldn't get fat eating and drinking too much beer instead. I still drink too much beer but I gotta have one vice - right?
ReplyDeleteGleds if you're smoking 40 a day, you seriously need to get some other distractions during the day. I'm a smoker right, but I'd be lucky to smoke 10 or 15 and that's even through the evening . . .get busy man . .take up knitting . .gives you something to do with your hands. (I'm joking but you know what I mean)
ReplyDeleteFractalmom: $2 a pack! That's extraordinary. They have to claw back those squandered billions somehow...
ReplyDeleteUbermouth: I do try and walk everywhere, which does help (a bit)...(>!)
Bumbles: that's a good idea. When I stopped (and I did for 6 months straight, including new year's eve) every time I thought of cigs I reminded myself "cancer, thrombosis, pneumonia, emphesyma"... etc...
Baino: 40 is a bad day now. Really I can do a day on 20 superkings, as long as I break the long ends off and roll them separately...
because I roll my own I don't really count now. I imagine a normal day's somewhere like 25-35...
Somebody is going to make BIG money on those vciggy-substitutes and it ain't the people who need them! Re the anti-depressants, if you feel you need some , why not ask for a different type? [You don't drink while you're on them, do you?]
ReplyDeletedont you know everything that is good for you costs a fortune to buy....
ReplyDeletelike umbermouth says the answer is exercise :-)