I HAD MY LAST shot of heroin and it was no good. Not that it was weak: it was sticky and dark and full of da chemical business but it's not doing the business for me so I'm dropping it. Fortuity has done me a favour in making this easier, I'll explain this later in the week. Heroin and I should have parted ways a long while ago. It does nothing for me except make me feel tired. The joy in it's all gone. I don't care for heroin any more.
I focused my attention today on cleaning my house. This time I cleared out my bedroom, where a pile of detritus had built up by the door. Old cups, papers, pens, biscuit wrappers and everything concealed under a fresh bedsheet. Things had gone seriously downhill like I can't explain. I wrote to the council, who've put me on the Council Tax computer asking now I'm surely on their system, could I please have payment card or counterfoils for the weekly accommodation charge I'm surely supposed to pay here. That's the bill I was told "not to worry about" because as far as the System was concerned I did not exist. My life is Twilight Zone enough without my nonexistence causing additional strife. I'm off to the photocopier, 10p envelope shop and post office with that one as soon as I'm done here. Then I'm supposed to be attending an antidrugs group I don't really want to go to but perhaps I'll feel better afterwards. Ta-ta everybody: how was your day?
Wow! Go with it while you still feel that way esp when if you've been feeling that way for some time.
ReplyDeleteIts usually dealers that make me want to come off/behave - or rather- the way they treat me - e.g. tell you to wait half an hour, when you say you want to go somewhere else say they're 5 mins away then turn up 6 hours later or lead you on a 'merry' dance all the way.
How long since you last used? I usually find the thought of quitting so easy whilst on then when off I go stir crazy and the other way.
ps. why don't you look up Graphic design or desk top publishing courses. I know lots of cool design sites if you're interested.
xk
I last used about 10 mins before I wrote that post. I'm so fed up with heroin, I've kept a tiny filter for use in the icy depths of morning so if I wake up feeling methadone-horrible it should thaw me out in 5 mins rather than waiting an hour for the juice to take hold (I drink the juice at the same time)
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about wanting to be clean when you're dirty. it's weird but nondruggies often find that hard to understand though it's entirely logical...
I was interested in learning book design. I'd love to be able to design my own books as well as write them. And I'd love to design other people's...
It sounds as if this is a good time to quit then. Hope that you do get to design books, and do graphic arts. There's a real demand for that over here.
ReplyDeleteMy day? So far going well. It's a bit gray at the moment outside but everything is lush green which is amazing. I have a meeting tonight which is good.
ok, a good start is Derek Birdsall. He's British and a legend. A good American one would be Paul Rand. Go googling but here's some links to get you started. This is design history but these are the Masters of what they do so they're a good aspiration:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.designmuseum.org/design/derek-birdsall
http://www.arts.ac.uk/events/30524.htm
http://blog.eyemagazine.com/?tag=derek-birdsall
Typography will always put any designer in good stead. You can't be a good designer and be ignorant about type; it is the lifeblood of design.
swap trainspotting for fontspotting. soon you'll be annoying/boring people by shouting out the names of fonts on posters on the underground.
Well, i hope that feeling stays beyond your last bit cos it's what you'll need. In my case, finances are forcing me to stick with the script.
xK
Syd: there IS a demand? I had thought for some reason it was an over-full field...
ReplyDeleteI wanted something creative that didn't feel brainbusting and paid relatively well. Also graphic designers wear nice casual clothes, which is always good...
Kelly: I've never heard of those people but will have a good look
I love typography. I don't know if you've been reading this long enough to have picked up loving references to foreign scripts like Burmese (lovely and round ~ I think it's the funkiest writing in the world) and Armenian (Cyrillic crossed with musical notes and runes)...
Yeah I bloody hope the feeling lasts. It was a novelty last Sunday to buy the Sunday Times. Usually I'm far too broke for that, after all it's all of TWO POUNDS...(!!)
You're really having a spring clean aren't you? I hope you do stay of heroin.
ReplyDeleteMy day wasn't any more exciting. I had a day's worth of freelance work. Went to the post office and back to work and the supermarket, ate some dinner and that's about it.
ReplyDeleteFor a very long time at the end of my drinking career I despised it and knew I needed to stop or else. It was to the point it didn't DO anything for me. I hope this feeling lasts for you Gleds. I worked today and have my Home Group meeting tonight and I have the NEXT TWO DAYS OFF!!! yeee hawww
ReplyDeleteIt's a start Gleds and keep the meetings up even if they are a chore. For goodness sakes buy a bin!
ReplyDeleteKeep trying, Gled. Keep going to NA.
ReplyDeleteHey Gleds! Wanna come and clean up my place???
ReplyDeleteHow did the meeting go?
ReplyDeleteSounds like your body has decided enough is enough. Just a warning housework can be dangerous to one's health and mind ;)
Hi Gleds ~~What great news that you are tired of heroin ~ I hope you can stay off it now and make something of your life. You are talented to be
ReplyDeleteable to put on all the videos etc that you do. I am sorry I haven't been around for a while, but haven't been well at all. Just now feeling better which is great. I was so very sorry that Little Itchy died. I bet you still miss her/him. Nice that Mother Hubbard
let you bury her in her garden. She
is a good friend. I do hopw the depression is gone for good.
Thanks so much for your comment on my story about Faith, the dog who walked on his two hind legs. He was amazing. Take great care of
yourself, my friend, Regards, Merle.
Gledwood,
ReplyDeleteYou know me by now, and even if I'm content using myself I don't promote H or wish it on anyone who struggles with it. So, I just wish you the best... and hope that you get what you want. If it does nothing for you, quiting is what you must do.
Best wishes, Shane
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