Mein Ruh' ist hin,Mein Herz ist schwer;
Ich finde sie nimmer
Und nimmermehr.
Wo ist ihn nich hab'
Ist mir das Grab,
Die ganze Welt
Ist mir vergällt.
Mien armer Kopf
Ist mir verrückt,
Mein armer Sinn
Ist mir zerstückt.
Meine Ruh' ist hin,
Mein Herz ist schwer;
Ich finde sie nimmer
Und nimmermehr...
This "lied" comes from Goethe's Faust "Gretchen am Spinnrade" (Gretchen at the spinning wheel). (Gretchen is Faust's fancy-piece...) In the play it is usually sung rather than recited and has been put to music eloquently by Schubert among others.
Here's a pretty accurate translation I dug up online:
My peace is gone,
My heart is heavy.
I'll never find peace,ever again.
When he's not with me
It's like a tomb,
the world around
a bitter place.
My poor head
is turned upside down.
My poor senses
are torn apart.
My peace is gone,
My heart is heavy.
I'll never find peace,
ever again.
For him only, I look
out the window.
For him only, I goout of the house.
His lofty bearing,
his noble air,
the smile on his lips,
the strength of his gaze,
his talk's
magic flow,
the touch of his hand,
and, ah, his kiss!
My peace is gone.
My heart is heavy.
I'll never find peace,
ever again.
My heart pines
for him.
Ah, if I could touch him
and hold him
and kiss him
all I wanted,
in his kisses
I would be lost.
My peace is gone.
You see they don't name the drug after a "heroine" for nothing ... the parallel between heroin addiction and a kind of love affair is highly pertinent ...
18 comments:
Wonderful poem. I see this as unrequited love. But can see how it would apply to any "passion".
Yes, I see what you mean - heroin, heroine! The attraction to someone and to something may lead to passion, addiction, slavery, sweet suffering and whatnot.
I posted pictures of furry little animals today and thought about your blog :)
I like your realistic view of heroin.
Syd: "heroin" is just "heroine" spelled out in German ~ if I remember correctly, it was originally patented by the Bayer pharmaceuticals company
Rita: hey ~ I will go and have a look ;->...
Lou: ah! But realism is in the eye of the beholder...
... but thanks for the compliment, Lou ...
Hi Glenwood, can you please drop me an email at Dean_Martin_Adams@hotmail.com I have a private matter that like to discuss!
Cheers,
Dean
i'm quite shite at emails (because I often fail to check my incomings) ~ but I did as you said, & hope to hear from you soon
;->...
Hey Gleds,
'Golden Brown, fine a temptress, through the ages she's heading West...'
That song came on whilst in a cab on my way to my 1st meeting with Community Drugs Team for script. Spooked me right out!
I'll be pining by tomorrow. Last bit tonight then back to the old subs. Financially driven so it doesn't count. Lack of money isn't enough to make one commit to stopping, you've got to really want to and right now I'm so disenchanted it makes it bearable to be here so why would I stop? So, I'll stay off for a wee while to let my finances settle then... who knows... ;->
I was impressed by your knowledge of Fraktur. It was also a stand against the lefty modernists and Bauhaus crowd.
Hope your wee Spherical is doing well.
BTW, being a fellow Londoner I'll give u my moby; 07545 251405 for coffee, design books/dvds or just comisserations. Not had much luck with emails.
take care
xKelly
an old one and a good one!
Lovely old poem and I guess any kind of addiction can have a similar passion to it.
I heard on the news that Red Bull, that stuff that gives you wings, has cocaine in it. Just a smidgen but maybe that why you can fly?
Janice~
That's a very sad poem, Gledwood. Both because of the broken heart it portrays and that you said it describes heroin addiction so well. I guess you can be addicted to love, too.
Kelly: Thanks I SAVED that in my fone. I am a bit shy though ...
You know my email does work, I tried it yesterday. Try again hammynutter at the lycos address. Apparently I'm not meant to use an at sign else it will get spammed. I get the most amazing porn adverts in chinese (I know this bc I google translated some).
You're on subutex?... but surely you must have been fairly committed to switch on to that. I went on it for a time and couldn't handle the pain of switching back and forth (more to the point, of everyone THINKING I was more OK than I actually was...)
Then I overdosed massively a few times, not realizing how powerful the gear had got...
I do know how you feel :-/
Cat: aye!
Janice: yes it got banned across half of Germany for having too much coke residue in the "flavouring" leaves..!!
Puss-in-Boots: very much so. And keep getting hurt again and again in the process ...
committed? not so sure about that. yes its a bummer waiting for the 12 hour window either way to do anything. I'd prefer methadone (which is what my GP put me on at the start) but daily pick-ups don't go well with a job that requires deadlines to be met. So took subs so I can pick up once a week only.
I'm super-shy so don't worry about it. I will try that email again.
take care for now.
ps. didn't want to mess your lily-white blank page.
xKelly
I wasn't saying I never want to talk to you ~ I did take the number.. but... do you get where I'm coming from? I have never broken out of the blog-bubble ~ ever for one thing ~ so what I'm saying is it would be better to start with emailing
when I was on subutex and secretly using on top, I found if I took the subbies at 7am, waited 2 hrs (for it totally to go in) then took a tiny tiny bit of gear, it seemed to cover the open receptors the subutex hadn't sheltered over
1st time I took it I was so ill ... it was unreal!!
Yeh you're shite at emails alright! I can imagine any unrequieted love poem working for addiction.
Oh no Gleds! I didn't think that at all! I can totally understand. Who's to say I'm not a psycho? there are all kinds of weirdos in cyberspace. Seriously, I won't be offended if you never breached the virtual bubble.
It's totally up to you. The offer is there if you want it. Whether it's someone to chat to (I'm an addict and suffer clinical depression - though not bi-polar). You're interested in design and I've got loads of resources; books, dvd etc.
I was just offering my hand in friendship. People do get freaked cos often been disappointed in others. I've been let down lots of time cos people convinced me to have faith in them and I'm the sort of person who thinks 'why should I doubt them, I wouldn't do that to someone else so I can't imagine them doing it to me!' and then they do and it's a shock and let down. disappointment in humanity.
You got your own pals so prob don't need another one. I am genuine and quite together considering what I've been through. I'm a good listener and not at all freaked out by anything someone wants to tell me, if anything I feel honoured that they confided in me.
It was convenience (as we both live in London) and some way of sharing my design stuff.
Anyway, i won't be offended. it's an open invitation, any time. It is weird maybe but I was planning to hook up with our Shane when he pops over so I thought 'why not'
I totally understand the safety barrier of the internet/blog.
Re: Subs: You become an expert at planning around your body and opiate receptors. I did manage to stay off the b for a year but at that time, I had a pretty full life... most of all I enjoyed my career. I guess I felt b would take that away. That's it, you need to have something you love that b is a threat to. At the mo, I don't so b comes first. Case workers always think you're making excuses for yourself... maybe you are but i think it's usually the case that you're not there (at that stage) and you'll know only when you reach it, not before. maybe career will make a difference, maybe it won't be enough this time... who knows. Can only deal with one day at a time.
take care Gleds. please, you haven't offended me at all. I'm a very chilled person and take people as they are.
x Kelly
Oh! before I forget. Check out the link below. It is for a website that you can actually design your own font online! Normally you have to buy the software (usually a few hundred quid for decent one), but here you just create. If you're using internet cafes (rather than computer at home) make sure you book enough time. I'm sure you can save your work to come back to later. Hope you find it interesting...
http://fontstruct.fontshop.com/
BAINO: I was really bad at checking them, I know. I'm trying to "remedy" that now... ooer.
KELLY: sorry I never replied over the weekend. Time ran out. Let me get back to you to reply PROPERLY this evening...
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