I FOUND A NEW BAR of SOAP on the street. The wrapper said: "luxurious olive oil soap" in English and "Saf Zeytinyağı Sabunu" in Turkish. And when I attempted to coax lather from it, the bar remained harsh and dry as a block of pumice. Five minutes later a faint slime began to manifest. And got all over my hands. And unlike any other soap I'd ever known: wouldn't wash off! And worse still ~ smells of mouse urine and diarrhoea. Like, you know, that musty scent when they get in your cornflakes and the droppings swirl round the breakfast bowl like choc-chips on the milk. Plus: the odour of the mouse-pooze mingles with overheated metal and hair. With a bit of vitriolic acid plopped on the hair for good effect.
It's as if I've buried my hands overnight in a mousey public toilet. And this sick aroma won't come off! Help me someone, please.
Perhaps lemon would help? It's wonderful for fish smell, I hear. Also vinegar is supposed to work wonders when you're cleaning something...
ReplyDeleteGled ... I used to know Christiane when I lived in Berlin. Sadly she is gone from us ... xx
ReplyDeleteAwesome :-)
ReplyDeleteDamn, I read to quick. I thought it was a nice soap.
ReplyDeleteNot awesome :-/
If you can get some Go Jo hand cleaner that might help. It cuts grease and oil very well. I guess that's why it was thrown out.
ReplyDeleteI'd suggest using salt as it's abrasive - I think lemon juice would work too.
ReplyDeleteRita: o yeah I might try that
ReplyDeleteFishwiskas: I heard she gave a newspaper interview some years ago and they alleged she was back on heroin... it's v sad I'm sure being famous did her little or no good either...
Vincent: it LOOKED like really nice soap. It actually came from all the girlie cosmetics I found a couple of weeks back. Looked really luxurious. Only mysteriously FAILED to lather, then smelled really really rank when it did... like hot metal solder dropped on hairclippings... with mouse "toilet" on top...
Syd: do you mean what we call Swarfega? What car mechanics use? My Dad used to have that. It's excellent... wouldn't have a clue where to buy it. Don't think any local supermarkets or pharmacies stock that one... haven't seen it in years.
Z: common Table Salt! Yeah it might rub it off if the "saltiness" does nothing else...
You would probably get swarfega from B&Q or a car parts shop Gleds. I would try salt or sugar and lemon juice first the sale/sugar will act as an abrasive and the lemon will cut through the grease - hopefully.
ReplyDeleteThanks... also I don't understand how they make SOAP, that GETS OFF fat ... from fat and oil itself... how on earth is that??
ReplyDeleteI just found this fascinating wikipedia article, which explains in terms I don't really understand, but could repeat back in smart-sounding words, how soap is reacted against an alkaline base to become a kind of antifat... which I kind of get. Kind of.
ReplyDeleteHere's the link...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soap
I assume the bar of soap was unwrapped, and therefore was probably discarded for good reason - maybe it had been in a mouse nest?
ReplyDeleteAs Rita says - try vinegar! :-)
Aw. This does not sound fun....
ReplyDeleteOf all the products...when you find one which works for you, remember it. Then, tomorrow, or the next day, when you use that same soap again, you will know how to rid yourself of the offending odors.
ReplyDeleteI think this a good suggestion. especially for druggies or alkies, who have to keep doing the same thing over and over, and over...
Always willing to help -grin!
That'll teach you! Yeh, vinegar kills just about anything as long as you don't mind smelling like fush and chups.
ReplyDeleteTry rolling in mud. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThat sounds really icky. Good thing it's just on your hands and not all over your whole body.
ReplyDeleteAround here I've been told many times that when you get sprayed by a skunk to wash with tomato juice. Maybe that would work for your task as well. Not much out there stronger than skunk. But I've never tried it. I don't mind skunk smell so much.
Gled, your power of description is overwhelming. You've just sold that soap to me.... where can I get some?! :O)
ReplyDelete:Mizpeh no no! The wrapper was safely on. And I misspelled the Turkish: Saf Zeytinyağı Sabunu does translate back, according to Google as "pure olive oil soap". The only thing wrong with it, and a shop might have sold it as a second for this, was a slightly crystalline flaky appearance. But the block was good and hard and looked like it would last ages. Which it certainly will because ain't nobody gonna use it in my house!
ReplyDeleteReeny: no
Steve E: that's a v perceptive comment. Except that drugs make you HIGH as well as ruining your life. That soap didn't even get me clean!!
Baino: no I like fish and chips
Molson: aye I will. Plus I heard swines and human beings have 98% the same DNA...
Nellie: you been sprayed by a skunk? Is that easy to achieve, getting sprayed I mean? Does it happen a lot? I've never even seen a skunk. They don't even have them in zoos here...
Leslie: I could send it to you ...
UGH!
ReplyDeleteYEAH!!
ReplyDeletethis is like one of the funnies stories i have ever read
ReplyDeleteHi Gleds ~~ The soap sounds awful,
ReplyDeleteso I hope you got the smell and feel of it off your hands. I would also get rid of the soap.
Thank you for your comment, and I love dumplings too and the stew as well, lots of kidneys. It is really nice when the weather is cold. Not so
great when it is hot. Take care,
With best wishes, Merle.
Kat'rina: ... my crazy ole world, eh! %-/...
ReplyDeleteMerle: it did come off within about 24 hours, but really did smell how I said ~ no exaggeration.
I would never put kidneys in my stew though! How on earth did you get a taste for them, Merle? I buy the pie steak and sometimes make a shepherd's or cottage pie with lumps of pie steak instead of mince, but would never ever vandalize that with kidneys ~ yeurkh!!