Friday, August 21, 2009

Jaundiced Under The Sun


I WAS PULLING OLD NEWSPAPERS out of my bag yesterday. I am forever cluttered with newspapers. Old newsppaers. We get three daily ones free here (though one closed down due to recession ~ so now two). I am forever burdened down with newsprint. At least if I get caught short with diarrhoea I'll not be without wipes.

Anyway there I am, hovering by the telephone and cable TV substsation (dark green box under a bush at the end of the street) when an old lady hobbled past me.

She was soon accompanied by a middle aged grey-haired man. He looked like he'd spent the past 40 years swigging beer in an easy chair in front of the TV; she looked like a retired meths drinker.

Neither of them recognized me and I thought what a terrible thing this alcohol and drug addiction are, wrecking people's lives.

As soon as she recognized me she squarked and nearly spilled the rremains of the cyder she was swilling. At one point we shared the same druggieworker who came from South Wales so she kept asking me to do my impression and nearly pooed herself cackling. (So those newspapers would most definitely have come in handy.)

They both asked me whether I'd stopped taking gear and remared how tidy and smart I looked. He claimed not to have done gear in eight months. I think the flat tone of my answer gave away my disbelief.

I couldn't really tell them they looked well as they didn't. I quickly realized the yellow tone of her sink wasn't most probaby a suntan at all but jaundice. She was in a terrible state. Flyaway-haired, painfully thin (like my friend Lucky used to be before she died)... she looked worn-out and frazzled. He just seemed worn-out.

And then they were gone. Weaving along the back ways home. Whether or not he or they both gave up heroin, alcohol's obviously a big part of their lives and it's very sad. Apart from that I don't know what to say ...

13 comments:

  1. Has seeing them in such a state put you off drugs and drink? I hope so. x

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  2. Gleds, alcohol and drugs take a toll and eventually more and more cells start to die. Physiologically it's like slow suicide.

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  3. Hopefully you won't end up like that. It's not a good look nor feeling. My father died from liver cancer (not from any abuse but metastatic cancer affter a bowel cancer) and his skin went yellow. His eyes looked like those in your photo here. Use it as impetus to give up the 'gear'.

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  4. It is sad what happens to people...Because you noticed it and it made you sad definitely means one thing...you're headed in the right direction. Hang in there Gleds....only positive, happy thoughts, okay?

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  5. I was in love and dated this guy Drew Gates for 2 years, he was from australia and a recovering heroin junky, he was still doing loads of drugs, oxy, valium, weed, dexterin, etc etc and an alcoholic, anyway he wrote a book called "the crooked beat" about when he traveled to thailand and india and being a junky, very entertaining book, you should check it out. you can buy it online.
    one time he got cotton fever from shooting up oxy (have u ever gotten cotton fever????)
    and i had to take care of him and he admitted to shooting up he had kept it a secret from me.

    i just got back from buying 10 oxy 80's and ive been waiting for them for a week i thought i was gonna go fucking nuts i needed them so badly. i dont blog about being a dryggy cause friends and fam reads my blog and i dont want them to know cause they think i quit. so shhhhhh our little secret.

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  6. It would be hard to know what to say, Gleds. It's very sad, though.

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  7. AKELAMALU: yes definitely. And I used to be worse than that. Far scruffier, anyhow ...

    SYD: EXACTLY!

    BAINO: definitely!!

    JEANNIE: I know :-<...

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  8. MDA: I actually do feel quite positive ... for a change ..!!

    SWEDEN: cotton fever they call a "dirty hit" here and I tried looking it up. It seems bacteria injected straight in the bloodstream cause an instantaneous reaction. I had it a few times but only once really seriously I was puking so much I could barely walk the next day !!!

    secret: OK but what happens if/when you really can't get them that must be an absolute nightmare ..?!!!

    PUSSINBOOTS: yep, sure is. I'm starting to regret all those yellow illustrations. It wasn't meant to be ridiculous or tacky, just once I started I couldn't stop popping more and more up there ...

    LETTUCE: I know :-<...

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  9. I really am enjoying your blog. There is a saying.. Most heroin addicts "age out". From my life experience I see alot of truth in that. All the copping and ripping and running loses it's thrill as you get older. I have seen those yellow eyes many times. I have had cotton fever. Ugh..You do your shot and than all of the sudden you are shivering, freezing, and have to get under ten blankets and it usually lasts about half our, the intenness. I think that is from re-using the same cotton in your cooker or what not. I am glad that isn't a part of my life anymore. I still get yearnings and twinges occasionally but they are so quick they pass. Methadone will get you out of that mindset of having to get well every four hours or so. Look at how you vision and perception of people and life in genreral is gradually changing. That is wonderful..

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  10. LORI: I hope I do get out of that mindset but find days on methadone very very difficult, for that reason especially ... I hope I "age out" too. I really hope so. I don't feel as absolutely obsessed by heroin as I did when I was younger and that's something ...

    AKELAMALU: ;->...

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