SCOTT GARCIA: IT'S A LONDON THING
UK GARAGE
Melody Lee this is for you. Melody is in New Mexico. They have "underground garage" there. This is UK garage. Underground it ain't. Most dance music is normal as a nice cuppa tea ere....
this tune dates to 1997. BBC Radio 1 started playing it 2 years late forget their own brains one day the BBC will...
14:51 hrs. I'm calm. Calmer than I was before. A thought or a voice is repeatedly saying my name. Thats what was going on today. Things kept echoing every so muchth thought. Not
every thought. Not every other one... I can't remember. I didn't count fractions. I will go into the fraction and become a slice of cake. A theoretical one. Which is what a fraction is.Today I went for a drive. A magical mystery tour. Someone else wanted to score drugs. Ha! Riding about in a car was much more exciting than boring old heroin (didn't even ask).
At the beginning they went nuts because I said don't bring any crack? What?! Crackers or what? What he'd said was something to do with a stone. Thrown to my window. To alert me. Which made me think of crack and go off on one. What REALLY set me off was the sound of my phone alarm clock at 9:30. I'd gone to bed early, woke up very early when it was still dark and got up fairly early when breakfast tv? was on o i don't know 4-6 hours no idea. Aren't I supposed to be keeping a diary. I'm too distracted to be drunk if that's what y'all think. Too distracted to have money which has gone gone no idea where. Everything's "up in purpose" that's what my head says. This is supposed to be a stream of consciousness anyway, innit. Otherwise I'll forget where I've been. But I'm more together than when that really fractured up stuff came out. Me and that are the same, I'm afraid. It takes between 2 and 5 hours [by the clock] of trying to take us apart. And I do try. When it goes really intense, which is at least once per day, it gets intense enough for just words rhyming into chiming concentric magical mystery tour centre of the spiral type experience. To words breaking up. The ends come off and resonate so that is what I think, what I say, what I am. That is what I mean by oingoingoinging. Yesterday I just had noise, like two racing cars or however many cars driving or flying back and forth making a roaring noise. That was my thought. No English in there. That is when I managed to think in French. It calmed me down a little bit. Of course I can engage or disengage to an extent. Which is why I whack a weightless hyperspace tennisball back and forth in my mind, it feels fantastic. That is a way of expending psychic energy. It doesn't set me off. When anything sets me off I go faster and faster into those Intense Zones. I woke up with music going fast round my head and all ping zing zonging. Both times. Yet still managed to sleep! O yeah it was drugs. Prescription drugs. Zopiclone 7.5mg. See you don't need a monster dose.
I'm supposed to find my money card for Monday. And clear up a bit of something in Aladdin's Cave. Aladdin's Cave is what my house feels like. Full of unexpected wonderments. Yet very very stressful to actually engage with. Which sends me off into what I actually have control not to do right now. That sound-think thing.
So that's what's been happening. Hey a clear window. I don't want to come down. I don't want to be a miseryguts.
Hope y'all are having a fantastical weekend and DRUG FREE like me ha ha!
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Here's more hardcore:
Seduction: Starlight Judgement Day 1992 2/4
Seduction: Starlight Judgement Day 1992 3/4
Seduction: Starlight Judgement Day 1993 4/4
Seduction 3/4 Quest 1993
Seduction 4 Quest 1993
Only thing with zopiclone is you get a tolerance really quick.. like diazepam.. after a couple of nights of taking them they dont work no more.!
ReplyDeleteOne time I came out of rehab, clean.. but struggling, I went to my GP to try get some blues but all the cunt would give me was some claratyn! Bloody anti-histamine thing that makes you slightly drowsy..! Not even some zopiclone... obvs I relapsed
Glad your sleeping :)
yes im glad u r 2. i not in the least worried bout u. only in that u say u wud go into nut house before u did ote stupid, but u wud have already done something stupid by going in there, well stupid is a strange word, lets say dangerous. now that wud worry me! my older bro went in one. its a bit of a story(and with so few comments being left at min i already feel like i am bogarting the comment space) i bet they all back on the gear. . . bastards! no they all pissed. i dont know i just say that as most of junkies i know are coping (or not) by drinking special brew! perish the thought.anyway i digress. the story a bit long but by the time they had finished labelling him and causing him 2 question himself so much he dint know if they were right or wrong. he thought they were tricking him. maybe they were? i dont know. but he was sectioned cus he was homeless so the only way out was a door that led to the roof and it was nine floors up. . and well he died obviously, so dont go there. u just never know, what voids in you brain(s) they might fill and what they might fill them with. with their over read/ qualified/paid utter nonsense. u dont need 2 go. i know i dont know u and relly prob have no right 2 say that but the more time u give it the better it will get. it already has gone some way. i logged in to say something that i forgot when i read the para about nut house. so i gonna have fag and remember what it was. one corner at a time (head and house clear)just one small corner back wen i remember x
ReplyDeleteSid: i can't remember any tolerance, it does work even for weeks on end. i try not to take stuff like that every day. if u can give it a break after you get a sleep cycle... well that is what it is for.
ReplyDeletemy sniffy gp turned me down zopiclone. she wants me in her house while i'm not sleeping. wouldn't turn me down again.
been like that for years. severe insomnia. then oversleeping
and they can medicate you 7 nights a week indefinitely rotating temazepam 30-40mg or more, zopiclone 7.5-15mg and chloral betaine, can't remember dose it would be about 2x666 or equivalent in hydrate don't remember the numbers probably 2 big purple pills my ex was on them during extended home detox i KNOW someone on this so that crap they give you is just that CRAP
also they can give pain relief to a heroin addict, they can use ketamine, they can use propofol to whack you out
HEY DID YOU SEE THEM DOING LINES OF CHARLIE ON COME FLY WITH ME?? JUST NOW!! O MAN THAT WAS SO FUNNY. AIRPORT DRUGS BUST AND THEY TEST IT BY SNORTING IT THEMSELVES
oh yeah and they can titrate IV diamorphine up to 1000+mg or more if you need it, but it would probably be in a syringe driver, not hits, after the first one
they NEED TO KNOW METHADONE GIVES COMPLETE TOLERANCE AND PATIENTS ON METHADONE ARE RESISTANT TO ANY PAINKILLING PROPERTIES METHADONE MAY HAVE ON AN OPIATE NAIVE PATIENT that should be fucking obvious to any trained doctor what CUNTS do they MEAN TO BE SO STUPID, I SOMETIMES THINK THEY'RE JUST SADISTS. JUDGEMENTAL SADISTS.
strangely i get understanding in psych, they know i need to sleep, they give me sleepers. that's because they see someone with nothing wrong but a little confused (someone told me nothing wrong with me, i don't think it was a dr) i wonder if dr "poisoning my methadone" will give anything effective the key to sleep is in his hands and the guy on the street corner who sells zopiclone to people with FUCKED UP SCRIPTS A GENUINE SCRIPT FUCKED UP SO I FUCKING HAD TO SCORE [zopiclone] HOW SCREWED UP IS THAT
i'm coming straight off methadone as quick as i possibly can i keep forgetting to drink the SHIT anyway cannot remember when have to do it in one dose per morning
i said today i'm coming off the shit everyone in the car went WHATTTT!!!! "that is your lifeline" EXACTLY thats why i'm cutting it
NOT TO GIVE THOSE CUNTS ANY CONTROL OVER MY LIFE.
get rid of that FUCKING JUNKIE LABEL
OFF OFF OFF OFF OFF OFF i'm off
sorry for the rant. if i edit it i'll only get lost in cans/can'ts
not without putting in a totally different one and what will that say? existential.
i was really popping off on one going off on one boingoingoigngoingoging just now
i took a zopiclone can just feel taste coming on which is distinctive with zopiclone, a bitter taste in the mouth means its working
so the ibogaine is working???
(properly???)
buggalugz: what everyone's on drink instead of fucking gear? someone got the best one about we had to drive for half an hour to get it, i didn't even think about it, just wanted to get out of the car.
ReplyDeleteI'M NOT INTERESTED IN GEAR.
I have Found My Higher Power so I don't need to use.
NA don't understand that. Theirs might be serene. Mine goes with intense rapidity.
Long as i'm off heroin i'm relatively safe in a psych unit. NO FUCKER will ever ask me for it. I will ensure to that using my mouth or more. No bastard is bribing me to get drugs. No fucking way.
The nurse where i had to go to see a dr so the guy who took me there coudl have it on a form that i am who i am ie i'm PROPER me now, actually my whole self fucking who cares if its their idea of sickness i had to go play in a room for 2 hours until some nurse found me that was the first time i went ultra ultra fast, on my own, outside the earshot of main nurses outside main cctv area i don't flatter myself nobody spied on me but i tried not to make an exhibition JUST BEING MY FUCKING SELF you can't even wave arms in there they'll take it as a symptom you have to sit arms flat down, you have to talk slow, you have to stay on topic, you have not to light up when lady psychiatrist walks into room you have to not do so many things i was told i'd done all ov them i was told...
... that i was using heroin as a medication. first thing i noted on heroin: no sunny smiley days any more. no depression either until i tried to kick it, then i got that... then my moods started showing through despite all that
thanks for your caomments y'all
i'm off supposed to sleep don't know if it's going to work tonight... (don't know) "try"ing to sleep means going to bed. not doing that waste of time lying there for more than 5 mins if i'm not out by then i'm not sleeping it has to be quick
:-)
Hmm I was going to say that you sounded a little clearer, not sure after the comments. Ha . .word verification is Pandab
ReplyDeleteI felt v much clearer in the eve the night. I'm faster in the morning than the evening
ReplyDeletetook a sleeping pill around 930 didn't sleep till past midnight or 1am woke up around 7am.... well it couldve been earlier aren't i supposed to keep a diary this will go in the post
no i'm ok i'm fine how are you?