Thursday, March 24, 2011

Good Mood

I WAS IN A SOUR MOOD EARLIER; I'M IN A FAR BETTER ONE NOW. I was so exhausted I went back to bed. I'd woken up at five freezing cold and longing for heroin (such cold reminds me of withdrawals). I took no heroin, only methadone, and I'm feeling OK now. Ma Famille phoned me up and cheered me up earlier. See my instinct that outside things like swimming and comedy work for depression is absolutely right. My family say I should focus on positives and that my talk has somehow become full of psychobabble like "coping mechanism"; stuff that I didn't previously used to come out with. Then again coping mechanisms are things I need (though that's not to say I need be aware of them). I think my schizziness is a coping mechanism. It might be an "illness" but it's a way of coping too. Personally I think anyone who manages to live in today's diseased world without being on hard drugs or crazy or both either has something wrong with them (or is just kidding themself)... Or is such a remarkable person I want to meet them.

Everyone thinks my swimming idea is a good one. Hey I found my swimming trunks earlier; the baggy ones I actually want to wear.

I weigh 14 stone 4 3/4 ie 14 st 5 lbs. I have no idea how many pounds that is... oh yes I do I just looked it up there are 14 lbs in a stone so that's 201 pounds I weigh. That's heavy man! And it's very approximately 95 kgs. I wanna go down to 11 stone (77kg).

Now I have to buzz off I'm at an internet cafe; my broadband stick has run out and I thought it might be an exercise in interestingness, putting off posting to the evenings anyhow. (I felt so sour earlier I truly thought I was going to post nothing at all!) Well I'm better now and I get a new £40 stick next week...

I have the film Boogie Nights and some donuts to cheer myself up. Nobody tell me please Boogie Nights is no good; I spent £3 on the DVD!

10 comments:

  1. It sucks that your internet is down, and you have to go to a wi fi hot spot to blog. I miss your long blogs. It gives me something to read. I get to know you better. I'm glad I got to read anything at all.

    I'm going to send you my book via email. I want your opinion. Please be very honest. I now my prose is lacking in nearly every way. I don't have the edited version, so what you'll get is going to have errors in it. Its 139 pages long, so I'm going to send you the first half first, and second part when your ready. If you don't want to read it I will totally understand.

    I looked up all the Heroin books availble via ebooks and there was none like mine. There are better ones, but none like mine. I hope the book keeps the readers attention. May God's will be done onto me and you.
    Love ya
    Anna Grace

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  2. Here's my contribution for the day.

    Guinea pigs riding skateboards

    That's all.

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  3. I'm glad you are in a better mood. I need to lose wight myself so I should take up swimming too.

    As for Boogie Nights, it was £3 very well spent. A great film!

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  4. ANNA: but your prose is not lacking. Never has been. Just because you don't write like a smartypants bore doesn't mean you're not worth reading. I prefer "normal" stuff, like you write, to "clever" stuff (which isn't ACTUALLY as popular, anyway). Remember you can't write like other people but they can't write like you either. I thought you told your story well ~ the bits of it I read. Honestly I did. Please email it SOON. I get broadband back Monday or Tuesday.

    MOLSON: thanks

    JAMS: that film is really funny!

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  5. http://www.stumbleupon.com/to/9RnWAY/inoyan.narod.ru/kaleidoskop.swf/t:4d8cdb20c7098;src:reviews

    for you :)

    have you seen the film Clubbed to Death? its brilliant have a look for it?

    hope you are keeping well and start that swimming it will be great for your moods and general mental health / wealth xxx

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  6. p.s i am tired, stressed, anxious and pre-occupied with my teeth : i am dipping my toes into the world of depression/anxiety. i do occasionally when i was 18, on my 18th birthday, i was admitted to a psychiatric ward and stayed for 6 months i have been poorly in the past and sometimes i feel close to the edge - today is one of those days.
    it happens to us all at some point in someway we are all on a continuum between good mental health and poor mental health and we slide between the two points - i think.

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  7. Whatever helps I guess. Swimming sounds good.

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  8. Lol, your thoughts on people who DON'T do hard drugs made me laugh! There's absolutely at least some truth to that (and it makes me feel like less of a degenerate!).

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  9. Yeah, that is heavy man. I am 6 ft. tall and weigh 180. The swimming plan sounds good.

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