Gledwood Vol 2 (Main blog)

HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

LIVE FROM LONDON

Gledwoods deutscher Blog

Bitte hier klicken ...

DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe) mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!
Showing posts with label eurostar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label eurostar. Show all posts

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Something So Strong Sunday

BABY ITCHY'S FULLY RECOVERED FROM HER "towerblock tumble" ordeal... how did she get to fall 150 "feet" onto her side? By itchily jumping off my arm as she rambled around... I don't know what I would have done if she'd done herself any real injury...

My video of the day is one of my favourite all time songs: Labbi Siffre's Something Inside So Strong. The video you see is a politicalized Palestine-Israeli home-made version, but that's quite good too. (The soundtrack is the original chart single...)

Well I'm off to Mother Hubbs's for Sunday dinner... it's a rainy autumnal afternoon... last night, so I hear, the clocks went back, which was odd, because even though I presently own nothing with a clock in it I still felt the difference...

For some reason I have real itchy feet... no! Not literally in the athelete's foot sense; I mean "desirous of travelling" itchiness of the feet. Even when I compared Baby Itchy's elongated bum to a Eurostar train and briefly linked that word to the official Eurostar site I discovered it is now possible to take the special direct December Ski Train from London St Pancreas International (St Pancreas= patron saint of diabetics (!)~and if you believe that you'll believe anything!) you can travel direct from London to high in the French alps by 200mph train... a journey of some seven-&-a-bit hours, but how much more glamorous than flying!!

***

Don't forget the Sunday papers! Get your free copy of News of the World by clicking here!


***

And here are some amazing gurgling baby shots!
http://leanne-brischetto.blogspot.com

***

7:15pm I'M BACK!¬
Had a charming afternoon smoking lots of cigarettes and watching glowing colour television in the warm. I showed Mother Hubbs my Chinese Boy Rides Giant Beluga Whale video; she said it made her day.
She made gorgeous dinner, with perfect mash potatoes. Dry style. That is not creamy, with just a bit of milk-&-butter. Yum yum YUMMM!
I watched back-to-back nature docus until Mr Dodge came back roaring drunk (but friendly) and I thought I had better give them some space.
The best prog on was called Reef Gypsies, about the world-class Diver Tanya Streeter (she is very pretty!) who travels the world swimming like a mermaid amongst the exotic reef-fishies of the world... amazing stuff...

...2nd Video of the day
Top Wild Dives With Tanya Streeter

***

NEWSFLASH:
Ladies! Crap early 80s hair's coming back in fashion.
Yes! Footballer Wayne Rooney's squeeze Colleen McLoughlin was pictured with a dreadful super-bouffant this weekend. (Scroll down past Posh Spice for the hilarious picture...)

***

Remember the other day in my Sun news roundup I mentioned a "rude" recruitment poster for Hampshire Police on the back of a bus? Well I've now found it. No wonder the lady constable is smiling, I said. Just have a look at the "unintentionally" strategic positioning of that exhaust-pipe!

***

Space-age architecture; rude shop windows
http://pulsardaqui.blogspot.com for great pixx of Toronto...

Art and Science
http://art-science-definition.blogspot.com
What is the difference between art and science?

Travel Blog of the Day:
Travel Blog of an Indian Backpacker http://backpakker.blogspot.com
Amazing Vatican Basilica shots...

Most Striking Visuals of the Day
Lone Stidsen http://stidsen.blogspot.com
Top design from Denmark...

Do you celebrate the devil's own festival, Halloween?!?
If so you'll want a handy recipe for what to do with the insides of all those pumpkins you'll be hollowing out.
Chef Jules at Gourmet a Go Go http://gourmetago-go.blogspot.com
has a brilliant one. Second down from the top...

Fantastic home interiors!
http://medinasinbolivia.blogspot.com
This is how I want my interiors done after my multi-million-pound memoirs advance!
(You need to be a multimillionaire just to buy a house in London these days...)

***

Have a look at my most recent blog visitors!
See them scattered in a bright band across the world...
(The shadow depicts where it is currently night.)

Best Chunky Necklace-Making Blog of the Day
Bead-guiling Designs http://beadguilingdesigns.blogspot.com
Wonderfully baroque stuff!

Ordinary yet slightly bizarre link of the day:
Gilles Paulve http://gpaulve.blogspot.com
Rather banal pictures of French people eating outside... led to me making "diaree blanc" comments... dunno why
***

I'm reading a fantastic book Return to the Marshes by Gavin Young (sadly that clicklink is his obituary from 1991). A comprehensive history of the Iraqi Marsh Arabs from ancient times to the present... sheer poetry - in all the best ways...

More info on the Marsh Arabs' longterm struggle...
Posted by at 29 comments:
Labels: , , , ,
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)

I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

Copyright 2011 by Gledwood