Gledwood Vol 2 (Main blog)

HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

LIVE FROM LONDON

Gledwoods deutscher Blog

Bitte hier klicken ...

DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe) mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!
Showing posts with label gabbly. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gabbly. Show all posts

Monday, January 12, 2009

Me: Online: Tonight: Talkin' 2U...

I DID NOT STEAL chocolate. I yammed it down this morning... Ritter milk and biscuit which was a compromise for 2 cravings (thick, thick chocolate and biccies)... though I wished I'd gone for neat dark choc as afterwards I felt vaguely sick, yet craving more... Something dark chocolate never does. Ho-hummm.

The picture is supposed to be Whoopi Goldberg from the 80s film Jumpin' Jack Flash, which as you probably know, features lots of onscreen dialogue of the style now possible on my blog via my personal Gabbly Gledwood chatroom!

It's not just for yarning to me you know, you can speak to each others...

You know whether you've got company, and how much, by how many "gabbers" are listed online at any given time... The doorbell sound announces a new arrival at my page; the schmonng sound means someone's just said something.

To reply:

Just tap something out in the dialogue window, press return, and you'll see it join the rolling script.

The screen will tell you you're "gabber 609", say. Change this number into your name by clicking on that and replacing it with your internet "handle".

I shall be online tonight answering notes, queries and making general conversation with anybody around from 8pm local time which would be around 6am Australian and for you Americans is around 3pm Eastern, or midday to y'all on the West Coast...

Please give me a minute or so to reply if you initiate the conversation: I might be on another window, waiting to hear that schmonng that says someone's talking to me. (How do you bring up another window? I scroll down my own sidebar to that Google searchbox and take it from there. It means I can be in my blog twice without losing my place on Gabbly if I happen to skip off-page for a sec...

OK so looking forward to speaking to anyone who can be there 8pm "Universal" Standard Time!!

Here's a tune I hear time and time again:
Guru Josh: Infinity 2008

Posted by at 11 comments:
Labels: , , , ,

Monday, May 14, 2007

Attention All Gabblers; I'll Be Gabbling 2nite!!

MIDNIGHT TO ONE A.M. LONDON UK TIME ...

I HEREBY CONFIRM: I shall, all things permitting, be online to talk to anyone who wants via Gabbly from the hours of midnight to 1am London time TONIGHT.

Thanxx for all the messages yous left on it... do you like the newer bigger box? I think it looks much better ...

I'm thinking of getting a messages box as well that people can leave comments of a general nature (not connected to any specific post) ... don't know what it's called but it's v popular with the kids so look out for that too ...

Anyway! Any questions, greetings etc I will be there to answer as promised. Nothing short of nuclear war will stop me getting online tonight. Unlike Jumping Jack Flash by the way, you need to press return before the other person can see your next statement. If you want to talk to me and I'm not there at that precise moment I'm probably having a pee or a cigarette. Never fear. I shall be back within 5minutes tops and will be "talking" under my own name not a number so you'll know at once it is me. ...

Let's see what happens. Till tonight!!

Now I've not always been the best at figuring timezones as several 4am-awoken relatives and friends can testify ... but to the best of my knowledge these times are...

West Coast Pacific time 4pm-5pm
Eastern New York etc time 7pm-8pm
Central Europe (Amsterdam/France etc) 1am-2am

Surely everyone else can calculate from there.

London local time is currently BST British Summer Time so take that into account when adding/subtracting hours ...

OK!?!?!?!?!?! EVERYONE, SEE YOUS THEN.

***

ps has anyone tried out my babelfish button? just click on whatever flag you please - and up pops my blog in the relevant language!! i was amazed on clicking a coloured oblong i didn't know to suddenly see my life's writing in KOREAN!! the french seems pretty good. as does the german. but can someone who knows one of the several available languages please have a click and get back to me on the quality of the translation. because seriously i at present i don't have a clue ...

many thanxx ...

***

NB IMPORTANT: the gabbly box is not good for leaving permanent important messages if i'm not there to answer ... bc if two people start talking the messages will get lost out the top of the screen ... i'm trying to get a message strip as well to go over or under gabbly... you must've seen them, as i said, they're v popular with the kids ...

***

http://beckedontgiveadamn.blogspot.com/ - example of what I'd call the kids' generation blog. With messages in a strip down the side. I want to get that type of strip.

***

BTW Gabbly is not just there for me! You're supposed to talk to each other! So go on then!!! Give it a try!!

***

pps if those times are too late try 9pm London time - 4pm Eastern/1pm Pacific/10pm Central Europe ... I'll do all I can to be online then as well.

...Just want to see if anyone shows up really ..!

***

If Gabbling anonymously as your assigned number - you can change to your name easily. Go to the box where it says Name: and a number is inside. Delete that number and just put in your name. Press return and there you have it! A grey message should appear in the main dialogue box "gabbler xxx is now John" or whoever ...

If this doesn't do it, try clicking the little person to the right of the Name box. THAT should alter it well and truly.

OK kids; I'm off ...
Posted by at 28 comments:
Labels: ,

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Gabbly Has Arrived!

SEE THAT GREY BOX in the top right corner? That, my friends, is a wonderful device that allows you to chat (by typing) in real time (just like in the movie Jumping Jack Flash) to anyone else who happens to be online here at the time.

I installed it on a whim last night, seriously believing I had nowhere near enough traffic to warrant it (ie "1 gabblers" means you're the only one on there; "2 gabblers" well you're on for conversation, 3 is a potential crowd and so on ...)

I am thinking of holding court on it tomorrow night. Probably around midnight local time (British Summer Time/BST). Which would be 7pm New York; 4pm Pacific, & you can calcultate others from there ... But before that I want to reinstall it (making the box bigger) blah blah ...

So come on people TALK to each other. Don't be put off by the silly dating ad - that goes as soon as you start typing. Scroll up and you'll see my conversation with Wayward Son - literally one minute after set-up..!

Right I'm off to Mother Hubbard's.

It's lunch time..!

L8R ...

ps you can alter your number (in the little box between the dialogue and your little typing area) by highlighting in blue, deleting the number, typing in your name and clicking the lil icon just to the right of it ...
Posted by at 8 comments:
Labels: , , ,
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)

I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

Copyright 2011 by Gledwood