HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

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DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Friday, August 06, 2010

The Common European Hammy

FURRY FRIDAY


The European hamster Cricetus Cricetus is the biggest hamster in the world, standing one foot high on his haunches. His belly is black. He is very easily surprised... especially if he thinks a goblin is chasing him!


Common European hamsters live in Central Europe and West Asia. They love packing their pouches. They build deep, complex burrows with living rooms and special chambers for food storage, bathroom, bedroom and hibernation chamber. "Oh!" he says. "I hear a goblin!"


"Can't see any flying goblins...!"


"Where is the goblin? On the ground, you say..?"


"Hi there!" Casual hamster-style...


"Oh no, the goblin's back!"



Video: Common European Hamster Family
See how even baby hammies have varying personalities.
One is calm, the other won't stop pinging into that bush!


WISHING YOU ALL A WONDROUS WEEKEND!


22 comments:

Bimbimbie said...

Hugely cute and I think that dratted Goblin got at the video, it loaded and then wouldn't play so I shall have to try again*!*

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

So sweet. Have a good weekend yourself, Gleds.

The Invisible Seductress said...

Awwwww...What a sweet face!!!

Gledwood said...

Bimbimbie: that naughty goblin! The video is well worth watching. They're similar to the golden hamsters people keep as pets. Very similar. Just huge!

Welshcakes: cheers, and you :-)

InvisSed: They're v beautiful, aren't they. I think they're the prettiest of all rodents, by far!

Baino said...

A foot tall! God they're huge. Very cute although I'm not sure I'd want one wondering my house. (Oooh meant to say that British Cuisine being an oxymoron, I love kippers! Haven't had them for ages)

Gledwood said...

My family on my Dad's side refuse to believe British food used to be crap - it's much better now than it was. But every foreign person I've ever met vouches for this!

Yep the Common EuroHamster is the size of a big rat! They don't make v good pets, apparently, as they are too fierce and won't calm down.

Too interested in sitting on haunches, paws together in that fey pose, looking astonished as if the goblin bogeyman's coming to get them!

molson said...

Now that's a freaking big hamster. Would it savage your ankle if you made it mad?

Gledwood said...

Probably. I was walking along the street with Valium Marilyn when three pugs rushed up to their garden gate and instead of going for us. "They're savaging each other!" I exclaimed in an unfortunately loud voice. The next door neighbour was pissing around on her doorstep (not literally) and laughed her head off. Then the owner came out and sternly reprimanded the pugs, who slinked inside.

I wouldn't like to get savaged by one of those hamsters. Their teeth are no doubt enormous. And if they're anything like golden hamsters they can open their mouth to poisonous snake like dimensions of wideness for extra savaging power!

Gledwood said...

Anyway, I think they're more into savaging naughty goblins than people :-)

Sweden said...

OMG so cute!! i love the markings on these buggers, and i especially love when they stand up.
So thats what "pinging" is, basically sprinting fast? is this a word made up by you Gleds, or they actually call it A"pinging"

why dont u get one??
or a rat (ive been trying to get u to get a rat for ages) theyre so social and smart.

btw did u see the shout out for u on my blog? you are my oldest reader (besides my RL friends) its been what 4 years now lol

Janice said...

How adorable. His fur looks like mink.

Janice~

Gattina said...

I didn't even kow that there are so big once. Anywy I love these little critters, they are sooo cute !
Why don't you take one ?

jams o donnell said...

Ooh what a handsome fellow! Pity it isn't a good pet..

Furtheron said...

We are babysitting a friends at the moment... now ours is some small variety - I know nothing this is all my wife and daughters arena. Anyway I'm on the computer and the new one comes out and I turn around... it's a flipping rat!!! It is huge compared with ours - my daughter says it is normal sized (I doubt that) and ours is a dwarf... well I've never heard it sing one line of Hi Ho so I seriously doubt that

Gledwood said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gledwood said...

Swedes: if you opened a packet and it popped open and a sweet went flying across the room, you could say it pinged but it's not standard dictionary British English, no, so I suppose it is an expression I've coined.
I would like to get a golden hamster. Dwarf hammies or pygmies like roborovskis are too small, considering a bloody great gap lies under my door!
So I think I will get a golden one, with wild markings, which are exactly the same as the Common EuroHammy, except a white not black belly and they're only 7" long, not 12" :-)
Pandable lived in a 30" wide x 18" deep x 12" front to back tank, which would just about fit in a rat. But I thought I'd need more space than I could give one. Currently I have a tank about 24"x12"x12", which would be just big enough for a hammy. And a hammy cage. Bit I will need a rat wheel for the little blighter to ping on, else he'll go crazy at night and irritatedly nibble the bars and keep me awake, the swine!

Janice: not as soft as mink, though. I heard hammy fur used to be used in coat linings, and have seen a British comedian wearing what does look like a genuine hammy fur coat, huhu!
Siberian dwarf hamsters really do have luxury soft fur, amazingly so. Softest fur I've ever felt. But they need cool temperatures in summer, else they can't cope. I let mine ramble about the freezer compartment in my fridge on August afternoons and they really liked it!
They have fur on the soles of their feet, because it's so chilly where they come from!

Gattina: yeah I might get a golden Syrian hamster which looks just the same but is half as long and white bellied and easier (so I hear) to tame...

Jams: most of what I heard said EuroHammies were too fierce to be household pets. I have also heard they can be tamed, but... I wouldn't want to be bitten by one. So I'd just get a normal golden hammy instead. They look almost the same but a pygmy version :-)

Furtheron: you can get dwarf hamsters. Russian or Siberian winter whites or Campbells hamsters are dwarfs and live in groups unlike Syrian golden hamsters who never share burrows in the wild. Roborovski hamsters are the tiniest at 2" long, then Russian hamsters, about 4", then Syrian "normal" hamsters about 7" then wild EuroHamsters, up to 12"

Sarcastic Bastard said...

The photos are so cute, Gledds.

Gledwood said...

Cheers, Dears! :-)

jams o donnell said...

I.m so glad that hammie got away from the goblins! The European hammie is so sweet!

Liz said...

gosh, they're very unusual. And sweet. And big!

Gledwood said...

Jams: I think the poor hammy has goblins on the brain!!

Liz: enormous! They must be meerkat-sized at least.
They also, apparently, like swimming... which is most unhamsterlike..!

Syd said...

Really great photos. They are the most adorable critters.

I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

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