I'm going to Berlin!

200mph/320kph GERMAN ICE TRAINS will run direct London to Frankfurt in three years' time, it was announced last week. I found out at the same time that Deutsche Bahn offer fares (one-way though ~ there had to be a catch!) from London to anywhere in Germany for under €50! The only (other) catch is you currently have to change trains at Brussels. A rail website gave two prospective rail routes to Berlin.
ROUTE 1: Eurostar London to Brussels Midi; Brussels to Cologne; Cologne to Berlin. Each journey taking about two hours.
ROUTE 2: Eurostar to Paris Nord in late afternoon; metro (or just walk 10 mins) to Gare de l'Est; night train direct to Berlin. If you don't get a berth and are willing to camp out in an ordinary seat the fare is under €30 one way!
I LOVE TRAINS anyhow, but it's the fact that you're hardly allowed any luggage on budget flights that really swung it for me.
I wanted to return home with a couple of year's worth of brilliant German books. That is, a weight-restriction-busting entire suitcase full of weighty tomes. Which you can't even keep with you on an aeroplane, and then if you kick off at the terminal because your luggage has basically been STOLEN, BA will prosecute and slap you with a lifetime ban (if you're Naomi Campbell)...
(A THIRD OPTION could be to fly, e.g. by Air Berlin ~ and buy a Kindle!)
SO I THOUGHT ~ if this is possible on one ticket; and most things are possible if you want them enough ~ it might be nice to overnight in Brussels, take a late night train to Cologne, spend the day there, moving on at night to Berlin arriving late at whatever room I've booked there (or park bench/space under a bridge (joke! I'm not into that kind of holiday any more. I "celebrated" new year 1991 going into 1992 with a crazed Japanese tourist, sleeping with homeless Berbers at Fez station. My Welcome to 1992 came at 6am when an angry station master started hitting my companions with a broom. He stopped what he was doing and looked aghast when he spotted my blond hair and pale face. In a way it was good he woke us up as I'd woken at five, convinced the poor old man next to me had died in the frosty night.)
Anyway, back to Berlin. I'm so excited. I'm going somewhere! At last!
Now I need my eyes and teeth seeing to. No cig-stained gnashers and new glasses or contact lenses. I'm not travelling Europe with my current intellectual scarecrow look.
Also I was looking into taking a night train to Budapest or Prague. (Budapest, I think. Everyone does Prague.)
I'm so excited! All these years of German and did you know, I've yet to set foot on German soil!
You'll all know when this happens as pictures of clean streets and exotic posts shall suddenly appear ...
In times past, I had always assumed this type of expedition would have to wait until I'd cleaned myself up enough to be OFF METHADONE.
I didn't realize, you see, that I'm allowed to travel with methadone ~ which they'd give in pills to prevent spillage tragedies. All I need do is provide proof of travel (ie a ticket) and enough notice and the druggieservice will give a certificate saying I'm entitled to hobnob across the EU with hardcore narcotics in my possession...
It's nearly 12 years since I went anywhere abroad. My feet are itching now, even more than that pussing wound on my leg!

***I JUST CHECKED AIR BERLIN's prices and was quoted €294.95 departing London Stanstead on September 28, returning from Berlin on October 7! Something tells me it's gonna be the train.***

Deutsche Bahn: bahn.de
Rail Booking: seat61.com
European Rail Ticket: raileurope.com
SNCB Europe: b-europe.com/Travel
British Rail Tickets: thetrainline.com

AN INTERRAIL (EURAIL) PASS valid for travel on 5 days out of 10 costs only £224!
http://www.internationalrail.com/interrail/interrail-global-pass.aspx

Underground Overground

FURTHER to my metro/subway/tube post the day before yesterday ~ about tube stations in cities near and far of which I know nothing about where they actually ARE ~ ie what's actually there above ground, here's the pictures:

TOKYO: HIGASHI-NIHONBASHI



Nihombashi/Nihonbashi (you can spell it either way) "Japan Bridge East" is Tokyo's major business district, full of high class hotels...

BERLIN: UNTER DEN LINDEN



This is what's actually under the legendary lime trees ~ rather a nice park with the Brandenburger Schloss at the end...

PARIS: LA MOTTE PICQUET GRENELLE



This interchange station, about 2 stops from the hostel where I once stayed in Commerce, in the 15th arrondisement, on line number 8, direction Balard, marks the intersection of Aveunue de la Motte Picquet and Avenue de la Grenelle. Pictured above: Avenue de la Motte Picquet (all very left bank) ~ and very swish!

LONDON: MUDCHUTE



Although, most disappointingly, there is no mud and no chutes to be seen at this DLR station, Mudchute is, amazingly, well known for its city farm where sheep graze against a backdrop of glittering towers..!

Metro Mystery...

SURELY y'all remember arriving in a big city, full of names ~ legendary and half familiar... you get off the plane, train or bus wanting to see as much of this place as possible ~ yet the first thing you have to do is plunge into a hole deep underground and ride the city's metro system before you can really see anything.

These are five metro stations in four cities (only 2 of which I've been to). The metro stations themselves are a point of fascination because I NEVER GOT TO SEE what was actually there...

PARIS:



Paris was the first metropolis I ever got to wander round at leisure for days on end ~ not London (long story). I was there for just over a week and saw more of Paris in this time than just about any place I'd ever been on earth.

LA MOTTE PIQUET GRENELLE was the interchange station about two stops from the Three Ducks Hostel in Commerce ~ which has a traditional provincial style park where old men play boules ~ and is about 10 mins walk from the Eiffel Tower. A pretty cool place to stay.
The name evokes no imagery in my mind as I haven't a clue what a motte, piquet or grenelle mean, but there is something catchy about those words, which is why it remains in my brainbox to this day...



LONDON: MUDCHUTE

In theory I should have seen something of this, perhaps the ugliest-named place in town, because the EastEnd Docklands Light Railway runs above ground. But no. No mud... and no chutes! Pity!



BERLIN: UNTER DEN LINDEN

Linden trees are lime trees. Unter den Linden U-bahn stop was for many years just to the west side of the Berlin wall and, railways aside, I have always wondered exactly WHAT is under those legendary trees...

TOKYO: HIGASHI NIHOMBASHI



You could translate this literally as "Eastern Japan Bridge", or render it in metro speak as "Japan Bridge East"...
I like the way it rhymes. And I would like to see the bridge. And I really want to go to Tokyo one day soon...



TOKYO: TSUKISHIMA

This means "moon island"... I would really like to see the moon shining on this mysterious isle in central Tokyo...

YOU CAN FIND OUT WHAT'S above/around these stations by clicking the highlighted links...

PS: so much for romantic images of the moon glittering mysteriously on waters around silhouetted kimono-clad geisha-girls strumming tuneless mandolins against cherry-blossom-strewn pagodas. THIS is what "Moon Island" actually looks like!!

Alpine Wanderings

THE BERLIN IDEA hit me because I had never been to a German-speaking country and yet I semi-speak the language. I focused on Berlin specifically because I like to be in the centre of things, so I would always think to go to the principal city of a country first... and East Berlin has long been an object of fascination.

Having said all that, emigrating was not an idea that sprang from the most positive frame of mind. To be frank, it was the only alternative I could think of, one dire afternoon, to suicide.

I still don't know why ~ and surely you can't judge a town till you've actually been there ~ but the idea of Berlin kind of leaves me cold. As cold as the perishingly chilly East winds that blow relentlessly over from Siberia in Berlin's sub-zero winters. I do still want to go, but am not sure how long I would want to stay.

An alternative town, with far more surface allure, would be Vienna. The photos I saw look beautiful and I like the thought of all that Alpine fresh air. I would love to go wandering up in the mountains and Austria is a tiny country of spectacular scenery with the wonders of the Czech Republic, Slovakia, Hungary, Slovenia, Italy, Switzerland, Lichtenstein and Germany all within easy reach.

Also I have heard the local konditorei (overpriced chocolate cakes/etc) is really good; and that the same number of people are spread out among Austria's sparkling lakes, glacial valleys, pine woods and cuckoo clocks as the 8.5 million crammed into London town!

And that's about all I have to say on the matter for now. It's hardly as if I've booked my ticket yet, so my travel plans remain wide open. Very slowly I am trawling the internet for the myriad details I really need to know before I get there.

It's a cloudless blue day. Fresh but not Alpine. Tomorrow's a public holiday so the main road's constipated with chugging jams of traffic on the way to in-laws, DIY-stores and Brighton Beach. I understand it's some sort of holiday in America, too.

Have a charming day, y'all. And I'll be back tomorrow...

Berlin

I TOOK MY FRENCH HOLIDAY IDEA and looked a little closer at what I actually wanted out of it. That is, to escape. And where I really want to go isn't France at all but Germany. And you can't go to Germany and not go to Berlin. So that is where I have decided I wanna live. As I said, I did years and years of German so I shouldn't have TOO much trouble filling in forms, reading things, etc. I will just need to get a really good dictionary.

I would love to say, "I'm going there forever. Never again shall I set foot on British soil." (I am very much tired of Britain. This country is sinking into a morass of doublestandards. Modern Britain deals with nothing until crisis is reached (who does that remind me of?) Problems are swept under the carpet: out of sight = out of mind. Civil liberties are being eroded here perhaps quicker than anywhere else in the "civilized world" and that really gets me. The "mother of all parliaments" is utterly corrupt; the home of free speech and all that is losing free speech. Spy cameras are everywhere. The populace are rude and violent. Immigrant communities rule over us and are full of attitude. Foreigners always seem to be first on the housing queue.

Having said all that, Neonaziism is what puts me off Berlin (and Germany in general) the most. But you can't have everything. And I never said I thought the grass over there was any greener. I'm just so sick of Britain. I want to live with a different set of problems.

And I intend to run away from my drug addiction.

I was already aware there are NA meetings in English in Berlin and that little link made going there seem a little less forlorn. I'm not "emigrating", just "migrating" for a while with 2 objects in mind. These being: 1: to get references/experience so I can actually go out and get a JOB ~ wow!! and 2: improve command of German enough to have usable skill rather than semi-useless semi-fluency.

I have never been to Berlin in my life. Neither have I set foot on the soil of any German-speaking country. My mind was oriented towards the region by years of language study at school, so it seems utterly ridiculous not to have gone. Also I long had a fascination with life behind the iron curtain ~ East Berlin of course was the gateway to all this. So when the wall came down without my having ventured behind it I was secretly rather miffed. There is something oddly romantic about former Soviet bloc chic. Giant alienating concrete architecture. Cold wind from the East ...

What really sealed all this was when my Mum said at the weekend: "well if you want to go voluntary work over there I'll help you out". And I thought: Yippee! Then I'm going!!

"BIRD HOUSE" COMMERCIAL
They're selling orange squash, not that I think anybody would remember it from this... but the advert is amazing. The bird is a canary in natural coloration...
I think this is classic ...



Oh and while we're at it, here's a McDonald's ad from Thailand
Note how the English word "spicy" comes through loud and clear:



OK I promise: last one
I love this piri-piri Thai lady:

Digital Radio

MY MUM said she was buying me a birthday present. I am now 38 years old. This is far too old to be a junkie. But anyway we went through Tesco's electrical department and picked out a cheapie CD player plus (what I really wanted) a digital radio.

The FM dial in London is so jam-packed with pirate stations playing outdated early 90s drum-&-bass I find it literally impossible to get a signal on the speech stations I actually like.

Nobody uses satellite radio in this country. In fact I have never seen (or even heard of) a set on sale, though I've heard a satellite called Hotbird does broadcast to Europe. What I got was DAB, which offers crystal-clear reception subscription free from local broadcasters on about 50 channels ~ though there's apparently space for loads more. Unlike ordinary FM radio, DAB broadcasts come via a "multiplex" where the signal on one frequency, eg 220 mhz is divided into 8 or more stations, making pirate DAB broadcasting a tad too technically complexicated for the average drum-&-bass towerblock hoodlum.

The radio pirates install their FM transmitters at the top of residential towerblocks and broadcast practically anywhere they please on the FM dial. Sometimes you can just about get talk radio but with a ceaseless pulse of dfff-dfff-dffffff sub-bass. Other times the DJ's voice comes shamelessly through on top, interjecting phases like "rewind selecta" and "big up da blah-de-blah-blimblom" (their mates). There's supposed to be a taskforce tackling these illegal broadcasters, who use random flats in the area (with another, low-power frequency as link) but they never seem to go away for more than a day or two. You can usually tell which is and isn't strictly "legit" because pirate stations broadcast in mono ~ so they don't light up the red stereo light. I'm all for freestyling on the radio waves don't get me wrong. I just find it annoying when they're decimating the BBC. Personally I think the legal broadcasters should all switch to digital and leave FM for anybody who wants a go. But apparently there's a problem because car manufacturers usually install AM/FM-only radios in keeping with pan-European demand and a lot of digital-only broadcasters claim to lose money. The latest "multiplex" got no bidders and so the future of DAB in the UK is uncertain.

Meanwhile I'm more than happy with what's there!

It's Bashful's funeral today or tomorrow. Oh, and I'm moving to Berlin. More about that tomorrow ...

VIDEO

It was the Eurovision song contest on Saturday night. Widely derided (here); taken incredibly seriously (in the East) it attracts transEuropean viewing figures of over 100,000,000.

I must have been out of my head because unlike former years (when I avoid it like bubonic plague) I thought to myself "this might be good!"~??!? and settled down with a nice cup of tea. Thankfully I conked out for the first half of the "ceremony" but this is what I remember:

PS If you come from lands far overseas and believe all European pop music is a tacky load of tat, see this before you cement your opinion (it will only strengthen it!!)

NORWAY (Best tune)
I was going to put this down as the best entry musically anyhow. And they happened to WIN also:



UKRAINE (Best visuals)
The singer mortgaged her flat to pay for this elaborate set. I hope she gets her money back:



UK
Musicals composer Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote the tune. Whoever wrote the lyrics ("it's my time, it's my time" repeated over and over) deserves to be shot:

("Royaume Uni" came 5th out of 25, with 42 countries voting...)