TALK ABOUT saving money and chucking the baby out with the bathwater: the drug service has new state-of-the-art creditcard-style urine tests. You pee into a cup, remove the end of the card and dip five little litmus-like dippers into the cup. Within a minute a "result" is recorded for cocaine, opiates, methadone, benzodiazepines and buprenorphine (Subutex).
Today's test had me down as a major coke fiend, borderline methadone drinker (even though I'd had it all that morning), negligable heroin user, benzo-fiend (benzos are things like Valium/sleeping pills and I've not touched them for ages). As for the buprenorphine I had again borderline used that would have put me in horrible withdrawals on top of methadone.
NB it was not the same test illustrated to top left, but along those "lines"...
So I walked out of there scratching my head until I realized I'd drunk so much tea before I came in that my urine was dilute enough to score "negligable" on everything. Where on earth the high coke reading came from I don't know. I did the test twice and both readings were identical.
I've invented a genius "Chinese" stirfry. I know none of my cooking really is authentic Chinese, especially the curry. My aim is for TAKEAWAY cooking: not food as actually eaten in China (with dead dogs/crows/etc etc)....
Anyway, for this you boil up long grain rice and store in fridge.
Stirfry one medium mushroom chopped extra-thin.
Stirfry two or three baby corn per medium portion per person again chopped extra thin.
Add about a desertspoon tinned sweetcorn per person. Fry all this. Add the magic ingredients (salt and MSG) and a bit of pepper. Voila: A MASTERPIECE!!!
Abba's Agnetha: Sometimes When I'm Dreaming
AWAY IN AMSTERDAM - Tomorrow I am going to Amsterdam to be the body guard of nearly 7 year old grandson Toby. It is about time that I leave home for a few days because I think...
1 day ago