HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

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DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Gledwood joins the 21st Century (at long last)

I BOUGHT a 3G phone today.

It is called a ZTE F102 and I got it from Argos, the shop that sells everything.

It has a 2 megapixel camera, it does free Skype, it does free Network 3 to Network 3 calls for 5000 minutes on a £10 3-month top up, it cost £46 including the top-up and 2GB micro-SD card. How could I go wrong?...

By living in Britain! I hear you cry. I bet could get the whole lot for $46 or less in the humungoulsy-bargainacious US of A.

... And the handsfree didn't work for a start.

But I did manage to brouse my own blog on it, which was pretty amazing. Saturday's doggies looked so furry and cute I wanted to stick a chopstick in the screen and poke them till they nibbled it.

Talking of dogs I saw a Basset hound parked outside the supermarket and couldn't take its picture because the phone was still on charge (how annoying) and I've decided to try that mobile blogging thing. Does anyone know how to do it?

Also does anyone know how Skype actually works? What should I all myself? And what's that Windows Live instant messaging thing all about? How do I know I've got a message if it's in my phone? Will the phone ring? What happens? Does the sun go into eclipse, the sky go black and the birds start stop chirping? [Pay attention Gledwood, you fool!] Or do I only find out two weeks later when somebody's really offended with me and cut me off their Xmascard list?

So many questions and not enough answers. Can anybody tell me how I would actually post a photo online? Considering I do NOT own the computer and don't really want my pixx stored on a public hard-drive if I can avoid it. Can't I just email it to the blog using the 3g mc-thingie-malarky? If so precisely HOW?

For those who are interested, you can read the phone's spec HERE.

PS don't those poor Bertie Bassett hounds look really hang-dog in that photograph. Trust me, the others I browsed through looked even more miserable. Not to be cruel, but they also look like they really smell of dog-blankets. Now how many Bertie Bassett owners are going to write me, all offended... (none!) The one at the supermarket looked really friendly and cute. It also seemed to like me. (Which is more than most people do. Haha!!)

PS I just doublechecked and Google, so it seems don't support 3-mobile for mobile blogging in the UK. But surely I can post a photo online some other way and link it via my blog? Does anyone please know how I do that????

(Bottom right photo: Vincent, who has a mobile blog...)

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

laptops with long battery life

Akelamalu said...

I'm afraid I can't answer any of your questions re your phone. I have a mobile phone with all those gadgets but all I know how to do is answer calls, text and take a photo! If all else fails read the instructions!

Baino said...

Hmm I use Skype all the time but on the Mac. You just download the software,think of a login name and start calling. It's free computer to computer but there is a small charge for phones to other users. MSN Instant messging is much the same. You build and account and can then chat on line via type. Be careful with phone use though because what's free PC to PC is often charged from phones. No help with pics I'm afraid, all my phone does is make and take calls.

Gledwood said...

Laptops with long battery life link:

http://www.cnet.com.au/laptops-with-long-battery-life-240090803.htm

Gledwood said...

There are no instructions at ALL about how to post online, unfortunately. I will try to register the phone with blogger tomorrow, if it ever gets charged up (which is looking doubtful ~ it's been plugged in with the battery registering EMPTY for the past four hours!) but thanks for the advice on MSN ~ the completest and utterest mystery to me in technology today. (Or tomorrow..!) ;->...

TerminallyUniq said...

hmmm...it sounds amazing, just the type of thing i'm looking for, to replace my 5-year-old cell phone!! all my current one does is text and call. so archaic!! it sounds like a bargain to me, though!!! i don't know where in the u.s. of a. you could find it cheaper. i wish i knew.

Syd said...

Gleds, check the owner's manual. I use apps for my iPhone and they are free. I can store photos on iPhoto and then upload them to Blogger. It sounds as if your 3G should do this as well, although I'm not familiar with that phone.

Puss-in-Boots said...

No use asking me, Gleds. I'm as unsure as you are. My phone does all that stuff, too. All I've done is take photos on it, but haven't read the instructions enough to find out how to upload them onto my blog. I'd rather use my camera...it does so much more. Good luck with the new acquisition...

Nicole said...

Hey Gled... wish I could help you more, but I only use my phone to make phone calls. I know that one can do blog updates, Facebook and all that stuff via phone, but I still haven't (my phone is too old).

Bee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vincent said...

Hey Gled, how's it going? That's awesome that you have a new phone :-)

I do not upload my photos from my phone directly. I download them to my computer and resize them and sometimes play other tricks on them. And then I upload to blogger from my computer.

I looked up the specs of your phone and it has Bluetooth and USB. So, you can use Bluetooth to hook it up to a computer wirelessly (can be a bit of a head fuck ;-) or you can use USB to hook it up using a cable. The latter is probably easiest as windows might automatically recognise your phone as a hard drive and allow you to access the files (= photos amongst other things). I suggest you try the USB option which requires you to hook your phone up to the computer where you do your blog. If that is a public one, you may want to remove your photos from it's hard drive after uploading.

I hope that helps, otherwise drop me a line on my blog k?

Good luck! :-)

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I have no idea about any of that. I despise all phones, so I don't have a mobile.

Good luck with it, Gledds.

SB

Gledwood said...

thank y'all...

ok: does anyone know how to upload to flickr or anything like it?

or even better a professional photo agency that will PAY when my pictures are used?

naomi said...

i like you, also want to delve into the world of photoblogging. it was never an option before, when i was constantly pawning my high-tech mobiles (after promising i never would) and well, even if i retained them for a certain period, i never had money on them to actually upload the piccies. that is why phone boxes were always king for me, as im sure you know.

i cant help but think how interesting it would be if you started taking pics of the certain things you write about (your trips to the supermarket to buy food...). you may think it is just a boring pic of a supermarket, but you will be suprised what you catch of film and well, the most enjoyable thing in life i find is people watching, no matter how mundane, its never mundane. let me know how the phone goes. google and youll get loads of help, search for photoblogging forums.

im still using my nans computer, i am hoping to get one with a ntl package though dont know if my budget will stretch. anyway, hope you are well, take care naomi x

Liz said...

Catching up as usual.

I am very impressed with your phone. Mine is a very basic one and I can just about text - if i can find it. It must be possible to post direct to your blog from your phone. I'm sure I've seen pics from people on holidays. Good luck with it. It will be interesting to see the places you write about.

I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

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