I RETRIEVED A COLLECTION OF COLOURED CHALK STICKS from under a bus stop on my early morning fag-hunt. Chalk I had originally been minded to use for Pavement Art, a business I was peripherally involved with some years ago. So after decorating various doors and boxes with psychedelia, shrubs and daisies with mystical inscriptions beneath, I turned my attention to my hamsters who, according to an old owners' manual can, in full-blown hissyfit mode (and if you've never seen a hammy throw a full-blown tantrum you don't know what you're missing: the paw-stomping, teeth-gnashing, up-in-the-air-springing and yes poisonous-serpent-style hissings are not easily forgotten, especially as one's just witnessed one's docile (but ordinarily vigorous) tubby pet turn from domesticated furball into ferral streetfighter. They can allegedly in such revved-up states, easily snap a stick of chalk in half with one single chomp of 2cm razor-gnashers!
Not so Bashful Tubbymouse-Roborovski. Having examined said mineralistic intrusion with some consternation, she did seize it with little hands and took to nibbling it with quite some inquisitiveness. Tiny little toothmarks were left all over it. Spherical took one glance, fled, then glared at me furious through one of many Bashfully-chewed-out holes in the toothpaste-box! Itchy took to gnawing with far more enthusiasm than Bashful. Then promptly bit the end off!
All of which has set me to pondering what vital collective memories of long ago eves on the Mongolian steppes might be revived by such nibbles. I've heard pregnant roborovskis do well to gnaw on a posh piece of chalk called a "mineral lick" ... so I'm off to purchase the very same right now and see how well they do on it. Mineral lick? Mineral Chomp, once "Baby" Itchy's gnashers get anywhere near it..!
Speaking of which, here's a song by Noel Coward, specially adapted for Spherical:
Don't let your daughter get the mange Mrs Tubbymouse;
Don't let your daughter get the mange!
She'll itch, Mrs Tubbymouse;
She'll bitch, Mrs Tubbymouse ~
So don't let Baby Itchy get the mange!
To be sung to the tune of "Don't Put Your Daughter On The Stage, Mrs Worthington" (click below)...
... - THEY CAME along in unison, building-sized and on their sides, past the cheering crowds. They played military music and fanfare, and because everything w...
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