HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

LIVE FROM LONDON

Gledwoods deutscher Blog

Bitte hier klicken ...

DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Monday, February 09, 2009

Frank In-scented Itchy

I HAD A ROBOROVSKI DONKEY-DERBY last night... Round and round they ran, around 2-storeys (that is robo storeys ~ 5 inches high the lot) of wandering tubes from toilet-rolls, clingfilms, tunnels from toothpaste boxes and secret underground bases fashioned from Italian Grated Cheese containers... all this concealed within their gigantic (to human-scale) house-sized nest which is 6 robo-feet deep (no wonder they like nothing better than lazing in there seemingly 18 hours a day...)... replete with multiple food-stashes in bizarre places. Everywhere I looked was a Disneyfied perky-eared "mouse" nibbling seeds, emerging from a tunnel looking surprised or trotting 21 to the dozen on the wheel. They looked so cute I really wanted to give them a good poke them with their chopstick.

All the robbies do to that chopstick is nibble at it in a vaguely interested way: when I had Russian or Siberian hamsters, one Campbells, one "winter-white", my Campbells seized upon it with such alacrity you could pick up said stick and have him dangling 50 Campbells-feet in the air... If he was a dog he'd have been growling and slavering away... It's such a shame that was before the days of Youtube as I could have got hilarious film out of Naughty's antics...

BABY ITCHY ROBOROVSKI smells of frankincense... Robbies are so cute and furry and tiny and I always bring them to my face when I hold them... they've always had a perfumey smell (not a rank mousey stale smell like... well: mice...) Itchy does indeed smell of frankincense. You might think you don't know it but you do: it's in "church incense", a sweet, calming aroma... Their we-wee is again full of perfumey "notes" (as perfumiers like to say) and nowhere near as rank as ordinary rodent pee-pee... My old Russian hamsters used to smell a bit mousey, but then they were boys and boys' urine's always yukkier than girls as girls of all species will tell you in various barks, yelps, chirrups and squeaks of their own... Or plain English, when they're not getting their nails done... Ordinary Syrian or golden hamsters don't smell at all, except when they need cleaning, and then their wee smells quite horrid and sour.

I don't know why, because they'are hardly underfed, but Itchy and Bashful, seem tiny even as roborovskis go. Only Spherical is truly as tubby eg. as the furry porn-stars of my video Roborovski Luurve..!

A lot of my blog-readers seem to lose scale of how very tiny my roborovski hamsters are. Robbies are the tiniest of all dwarf hamsters so I'll try and give you an illustration: an ordinary Syrian hamster curled up is about the size of a tennis-ball; a Russian dwarf hamster would be about satsuma-size ~ but robos, the tiniest of the lot are barely any bigger than pingpong balls!

And with that thought I'll love you and leave you. I have to fly and get a roast beef dinner in giant Yorkshire pudding £1 meal from "chavtastic" Iceland... the feeding the "white trash" frozen superstore...

Illustrations: to the right ~ a tiny furry dur roborovskis; to the left no not some dodgy smoker's middle-eastern drugs ~ that's frankincense being used as incense...

Poem of the Day: Read Experience, Strength & Hope at Storm Before the Calm...

EFTERKLANG MIRADOR

Now we're walking up strange-street...

Visually very funky and musically a little bit: what oddness! I purloined this from Let Nature Be blog...




THE PRICE IS RIGHT 1ST EVER SHOW 1984
Hosted by the original Alan Partridge ~ yes Leslie Crowther, this is the classic opening British show of that gold-plated American gameshow THE PRICE IS RIGHT: starring NORMA STUPID

The woman made such an impression on all of us that years later "Norma Stupid" is still a family catchphrase at home...

This you have to watch: you couldn't mock-up something this retro if you tried all year...


33 comments:

Liz said...

Been reading back over your posts. I am very impressed with your shorthand! Can you type properly? I want to be able to do it without looking. (But can never be bothered to practise.)

By the way I don't dress like that to go to prison. Only when on the town!!!

I was trying to visualise how tiny your robbies are. And smelling of incense! How sweet.

Liz said...

Oh yes, and I had one of those Internet explorer can't open the page on your gabby thing. I'll try again tonight and see if you are there!

Syd said...

Funny little hamsters. They are interesting.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I would have loved to see the roborovskis donkey-derby! Even smell the roborovskis pee. With fairly warm weather here and the front door open for Alex, all the pet experience I’m having is the furball running in and out of the house pretending (I think) he is chasing something. Or, maybe something outside is really chasing him.

Baino said...

God I remember Leslie Crowther from being a kid and i left England when I was 11! 41 years ago! Erm interesting observations on the wee of Robbies et al ...of course the girls smell better . . .we always do!

Melody said...

You always post the coolest vids etc on your blog. I'm jealous! I'm so computer retarded I can barely manage. Blogger and Myspace are about as complicated as I get.

Akelamalu said...

Your robos smell of incense? I love the smell of incense!

Aunt Reeny's After Thoughts said...

If I had robbies I would carry them around in my pocket to keep me company when I am lonely. Just read you previous post on Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind which is one of my favorite films, I cry everytime I get to the scene when they are back at the beach house trying to remain together and the memory fragments and they slip away from it. Ugh, now I am getting all teary eyed again.

Storm Before the Calm said...

Thanks for the plug!

I must say - this is the first time I have ever read someone describe the smell of their hamster - much less their pee! Maybe people should discuss it more often, because I was quite entertained. Thanks!

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Your robo-derby sounds very exciting!

Gledwood said...

Liz: It took years to get shorthand anywhere half decent and that was by intermittently going at it obsessively for a couple of weeks, then dropping it for another couple of years or so...
Yes I wonder where the incense smell comes from but it is just them I suppose... Gabbly often misbehaves like that I will log my name in in a sec it is 11:05pm

Syd: Best pets I ever had and petshops tried to put me off buying them saying they're too fast and don't like being picked up ~ they're for watching not handling

Nick: playing "scaredy-cat"? and they do love to run from the wind...

Baino: What on earth Leslie Crowther was famous for before the Price is Right I've no idea... he was some sort of child star?
You're dead right about girls...

Gledwood said...

Melody: well you're one up from me if you've got Myspace sorted. Maybe because I don't like giving out details only telling stories blogger is for me...
... it took me an entire day from deciding to start posting vids to actually figuring out how to "embed" one and realizing you do NOT need a Youtube account to do this...

Akelamalu: yes they smell of the kind of heavy incense you get from aromatic woods and resins like frankincense, benzoin and sandalwood...

Eileen/Reeny: I used to sleep with a hamster up my sleep but would nearly always wake with him having escaped and running wild around the room and it always seemed to take half an hour to catch him...

Storm: probably people don't smell their pets like they should~haha! Roborovskis do smell more wondrous than any pets I've ever had...

Welshcakes: really funny to watch! The big Disney-mice with big Disney-eyes ;->...

Gledwood said...

Eileen: up my sleeve I was sposed to say ~ dur!!

Peter said...

Thanks for your visits and comments about the Victorian bushfires, they are still burning and creating heartbreak.

Gledwood said...

I'm glad the weather's changing and I hope they go out soon

La Couturier said...

thank you so much for leaving such a kind comment =]

gledwood said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Gledwood said...

hey you're welcome
i used to lap up certain style magazines like the (now out of print) Face magazine in the 90s... I can't imagine how cool it would be to get published somewhere like that...

Bimbimbie said...

You do find the cutest Robo pics to post. I did think about you and your Paddington Pigeons when that one landed here ... you better watch out full moon and all that, better get on home *!*

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Gledwood, yes, Alex could have been playing scaredy-cat! Or, he might not being playing. The furball loves to harass the dog next dog—and the do was quite a bit while Alex was outside.

Puss-in-Boots said...

Those robos sound really cute and it's nice that they smell so sweet. Mice are terrible! However, robos wouldn't do too well here with a couple of cats who would think they make lovely snacks...after a game of chasey of course...

Smack Happy said...

Hi Gledwood and Melody:

I'm a bigger 'Tard than both of you - took me half the night yesterday to figure out how to create G acct just to comment on that guy Noah's blog...which led me to you guys' blogs. Hope you don't mind if i join in on the fun.

Gledwood said...

Bimbimbie: I got home and couldn't sleep (properly) all night: is that full moon..??

Nick: as I think it was my old English teacher once said ANY cat worth its salt can get the better of a dog, either by full-on attack or by kitty-wiles...

Puss-in-Boots: last time Itchy escaped I had little choice but to capture her by WHAM under a teatowel. Already her head was halfway out, eyes protruding as if they'd break free any second like black streams of toothpaste (what an ukky image) but that might describe how utterly desperate she looked, and it took her a full five minutes, after I wrapped her up and dumped her directly in the tank, to behave anything like normally again.

The other 2 couldn't stop sniffing at her like where have YOU been!!??!

SmackHappy: the fun is open to all. I can never comment there as the "adult content" filter never comes down, letting me in the blog, but not filling the page... all my fault for logging into blogger first so beware of that I have had endless trouble

ps how did you find all these junk blogs? it always intrigues me as I went for months on end thinking NOBODY ever posted and used

and the folks from junky life except Naomi were always FAR too uppity to deign to speak to me with my... ooo furry hamsters and ooo semblance of personality left ooo dear

Gledwood said...

Bimbimbie: I got home and couldn't sleep (properly) all night: is that full moon..??

Nick: as I think it was my old English teacher once said ANY cat worth its salt can get the better of a dog, either by full-on attack or by kitty-wiles...

Puss-in-Boots: last time Itchy escaped I had little choice but to capture her by WHAM under a teatowel. Already her head was halfway out, eyes protruding as if they'd break free any second like black streams of toothpaste (what an ukky image) but that might describe how utterly desperate she looked, and it took her a full five minutes, after I wrapped her up and dumped her directly in the tank, to behave anything like normally again.

The other 2 couldn't stop sniffing at her like where have YOU been!!??!

SmackHappy: the fun is open to all. I can never comment there as the "adult content" filter never comes down, letting me in the blog, but not filling the page... all my fault for logging into blogger first so beware of that I have had endless trouble

ps how did you find all these junk blogs? it always intrigues me as I went for months on end thinking NOBODY ever posted and used

and the folks from junky life except Naomi were always FAR too uppity to deign to speak to me with my... ooo furry hamsters and ooo semblance of personality left ooo dear

tut-tut said...

Hi Gled: Thanks for the visualization of an American roadtrip. I'm sending out healing thoughts your way all along the trip!

Gledwood said...

when I finally manage to go! It might have to be a European rail trip...

... American road trips always appear to be (in the movies) along what we call "dual carriageways" ie 1 lane each direction... and those battered middle o' nowhere gas stations and diners

I bet in actuality you take the "interstate" which is probably what I know a long journey in Europe by road would involve: hours and hours on autobahn, autostrada, motorway and whatever les francais call une "motorwaye"

hence the romance of the train, in which stakes Europe beats America hands down...

(I don't know that I'd even get a visa for America they hate reprobates...)

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Your old English teacher was wise!

Sometimes I worry about the dog next door because of the tricks Alex plays on her, even though the dog out weights Alex by about 90 pounds.

Lulda Casadaga said...

Hi..came via Lime...greetings from across the pond. Not a big fan of roddies...but, like the smell of frankencense. So, I would probably like your critters. Will have to look back on some of your older posts. time permitting...:)

My Daughter's Addiction said...

You know Gleds...you're absolutely right, I think my pee smells perfumey good too! :)

Janice said...

That one robo getting a lick on the ear looks like he/she is grinning.

Sweet.

Janice~

Gledwood said...

Nick: that dog sounds thick!

90lbs sounds like a huge wobbling bag of lard... oh! i thought you meant 90 STONE hahaha!!

Luida: enjoy!

MDA: and most perfume is golden yellow!~ those manufacturers might be onto something!!

Janice: aye that's true!

opop said...

情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, ut聊天室, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網, 影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友,

免費A片, 本土自拍, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片, 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 免費A片下載, 性愛, 成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊,

fgeegf said...

做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇, 爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性,

aaaa片, 免費聊天, 咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真, 免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,

I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

Copyright 2011 by Gledwood