HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.


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I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

I love bling!



Guess the gemstones... be as specific as possible...

If you can't guess 'em all, just give the ones you think you know ...

(I'm interested to know what people think)...


& please say your favourite blingstones/colours














Gledwood said...

OBVIOUSLY I cannot give answers to the 12 but my for gemstones my favourites would be blue diamonds and sapphrires~ haha. not cheap am I?

Baino said...

I fancy the pink diamond myself but I'm not much of a jewellery person.
OH I'm hopeless with bling:

I"m pretty sure 6 is a diamond? 8 is a sapphire and 9 an emerald . . .10 I think is a pink diamond too and 12. Just different colours and cuts.

Jeannie said...

1. tanzanite
2. colour looks like ruby - do rubies come with the star?
3. garnet (or a fake ruby) (colour isn't right for either I think)
4. blue topaz
5. peridot
6. ?
7. ? fake emerald (too dark)
8. fake sapphire (not dark enough)
9. emerald
10. ? pink diamond? do they come pink?
12. diamond

Jeannie said...

I love gems. Would love a tanzanite like #1 - have a couple rings with them but they are small and not great colour but tanzanite is my favourite - used to be amethyst - but I also love sapphires and rubies and garnets -emeralds are growing on me. I have a LOT of jewelry

Anonymous said...

It's hard to tell from photos and no way to tell what size these stones are...but here goes for fun :o)

1. Fancy cut deep purple/blue Tanzanite - so rare! I want one!

2. 6 point star ruby.

3. Looks like a red sapphire, as I have one just like it.

4. Tricky...strange cut. If it was aquamarine, it would be a rare find in that rich colour, so I'd guess at topaz but not sure.

5. Probably peridot, but could be green sapphire or Tsavorite garnet

6. This looks like a rare Ceylon sapphire to me - they are pale sky blue like chicory flowers. Or it could be a blue diamond.

7. Emerald maybe. They're rarely clear and this one has visible inclusions.

8. Looks like deep sapphire colour but not a good photo as it shows little fire. Might as well be glass.

9. Probably too clear for emerald, so tourmaline or alexandrite maybe.

10. A bit stumped, it coud be a (disappointing!) pink diamond, a pink tourmaline, or pink kunzite.

11. Guessing again...chrome diopside?

12. Looks like an ice blue diamond - strange colour though.

See if you can find yellow kunzite - it's really unusual and sort of glows from within even if you shade it!


Puss-in-Boots said...

I love bling too...especially the real stuff that you're talking about. The coloured stones are my favourites...sapphires, emeralds, rubies, etc. Diamonds? If they're with other stones, yes, but on their own, they do nothing for me.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Wow. Tough to name them stones but you seem to have quite a few readers that seem to know what they are talking about.

All time favorite for me I guess is Sapphire but I am also into Tourmaline and amber.

Gledwood said...

Very good answers...

roll up roll up! MORE please!!

the quiz ain't closed yet! ;->...

Syd said...

1. no idea
2. star ruby
3. garnet?
12. aquamarine

Sorry I didn't pass gemology class.

Sweden said...

10 is my fav i LOVE pink, reg color and yellow diamonds so pretty as far as my answers i dont know lol

Anonymous said...

I'm still discovering gems I've never heard of before. To me "bling" is cheap OTT fake stuff - I couldn't use the term for genuine gemstones.

Puss-in-boots - what about coloured diamonds? A good white diamond, even a quarter carat, is an amazing thing! Hold one in the sun, and gently turn it around - it will reward you with a display of intense shafts of brilliant, dazzling coloured light, in all shades of the spectrum! Fancy coloured diamonds do too, I'm told. And they're tougher than other coloured stones - diamonds are forever!

Gledwood said...

Come on you 'orrible lot!
More answers please, the competition doesn't close till Monday!!

Gledwood said...

the answers are here


Jeannie you are the winner with 7/12, scoring 0.5 for answers 7 and 12

H got 8/12 right but gave a lot of alternative suggestions!

Baino 5/12

Syd 3/12



Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.

Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!

Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

Copyright 2011 by Gledwood