HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.


Gledwoods deutscher Blog

Bitte hier klicken ...


I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

"My Love Affair With Jewellery"

MANY YEARS AGO I used to make UV necklaces for the fluorescent clubbers of London.
Now that I'm more "grown up" (note the inverted commas) I'm interesteed in learning "proper" jewellery ~ silversmithing, gemology and jewellelry design. Hence my non-stop barkings on about bling over the last days.
I got Elizabeth Taylor's 2002 book My Love Affair With Jewelry from the library for inpiration. This 50ct sapphire "sautoir" (necklace and pendant), and this serpent watch are the best pieces.
Both are by Bulgari ~ of course. All the best pieces in that book are by Bulgari. In fact most of the most striking jewellery I've seen is by Bulgari. Bulgari are very good.
The serpent's mouth opens to reveal the watch face sitting on the golden critter's tongue. Very funky. (Dual purpose pieces are the best, doncha think?)
Although much of Ms Taylor's collection is pretty amazing, I was shocked by the amount of 18k gold she wears. Surely a lady of her stature could afford 22?
Abalone ~ from exotic sea snails ...

Matrix opal beads ~
these resemble the multicoloured millefiori against black beads I used to fashion out of Fimo for the more discerning nightclubber.
Opals of course, reveal their "opalescence" under ordinary light. Mine looked interesting by daylight, but lit up like a rainbow of volcanic lava under the blacklights most clubs and bars are fitted with.
SOME STONES do exhibit dramatic colour changes under changing light sources. Most famously ...
appears grass green in daylight and raspberry red under incandescent light.
Andalusite has been called "poor man's alexandrite" but actually has the very different property of revealing different colours from different angles of the fasceted gem ~ green from one direction and red from another. I'd particularly like to get hold of one of these.
And last but not least...
Aren't they funky?
The "startlingly simple" Context cut...
The "revolutionary" Spirit Sun cut...
The "whimsical" Lily cut ...

(Context cut left; Spirit Sun cut right; Lilly cut centre)

I got the wrong picture on Saturday. THIS is how they look. An entire natural diamond crystal is cut this simply... only 1 in 100,000 gems found are suitable... The cut is patented and available only through Tiffany... and how amazing does it look!!

("BVLGARI", if you prefer...)

By Deutsche Welle TV in English
Some of the stuff here is pretty amazing:

These 2 are advertisements by Bulgari:

(not in Spanish:)


Lesley said...

Hi Gled,
A good medium to work with is Precious Metal Clay. You can mould and sculpt it like Fimo and when it's fired (in a kiln or on a gas hob) it brings out the pure silver.

It's something I intend to have a go at this year. Here's a link that will tell you all about it.


Jeannie said...

24 carat gold is far too soft to wear as jewelry - 18 adds some strength to hold the gems, the shape, and not wear as quickly.

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Nice post, Gleds. I love jewellery, especially earrings. Aren't opals supposed to be unlucky?

Anonymous said...

Genial post and this fill someone in on helped me alot in my college assignement. Thank you seeking your information.

Gledwood said...

LESLEY: I heard about that, my stepmum is into that.

JEANNIE: you can get 22k gold at Indian jewllers everywhere and that's not too soft; also there's a gold 990 (out of 1000) ie 99% gold 1% titanium that's said to look like 14k gold ie quite pale, but has a wonderful strength...

WELSHCAKES: I think they're lucky for those not superstitious enough to be put off wearing them! Hopefully the "unlucky" tag is putting the price lower than it would otherwise be ~ haha!

ANONYMOUS: thank you. But who on earth are you..??!?

Lesley said...

Oh, I hope opals aren't too unlucky.... the opal is my birthstone! :O)

Sweden said...

love the context cut diamond!!!!!! soooo pretty

Gledwood said...

Lesley: o come on! As I said, the unlucky myth is a boon for the rest of us ~ hopefully it means opals are far cheaper than they otherwise would be ~~~ WAHEY!!

Context Cut diamonds take an entire flawless original diamond crystal ~ only 1 in 100,000 are suitable to do this, and cut that very simple design into them... The cut is ONLY available through Tiffany's at present... but how beautiful..!



Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.

Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!

Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

Copyright 2011 by Gledwood