HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

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DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Saturday, January 02, 2010

2010: Stop the Fur Trade!


FURRY FRIDAY ON SATURDAY: FICKLE FASHION

Curmudgeonly Hammy says: keep yer dirty mits off my fur!



When will the fur trade ever stop?

Real fur's popularity plummeted to an all-time low in the 1990s when the supermodels starred on billboards declaring: "I'd rather go naked than wear fur" ads...



... yet as soon as fur came back in fashion only a few years later at least one was quick to reverse her position ...



Here is a small selection of animals STILL bred for fur and used in coats, hats/ etc around the world.


Mink: these are bred in vast numbers for companies like Fendi... these weasel-like creatures also cause havoc when released into the wild by animal rights activists...



Sable:



Ermine (the stoat's winter white coat):
... aren't these the cutest?




Rabbit:



Even the golden hamster, traditionally used as a lining (because the fur's not that amazingly soft compared to the others) ~ though as recently as 2004 genuine hamster fur coats ~ with the hamster fur on the outside ~ were being sold in Scotland!



Hamster links:
Genuine hamster fur coats sold in Scottish shop!
Independent newspaper report ...
BBC report ...
CBBC (children's) report ~ featuring very cute hammy picture ...

Mink link:
£10,000 mink handbag by Fendi ...



BTW ermine was traditionally used as the white trim in royal robes: here's Queen Elizabeth I's famous Ermine Portrait as displayed in Hatfield House:



Feral ermine. Notice how fast it is... and see how even the dog rolls over warily in submission..!



This is funny: an entire family of wild mink bounding along the river-bank...



Wild mink pilfering fish!



10 comments:

lettuce said...

it is pretty depressing
and fake fur is so good! seems no need for it so far as I can see.

great vids. though, made me smile.

Happy new year Gledwood - hope 2010 will be a better year for you

Akelamalu said...

I did own a (rabbit) fur jacket back in the early 70's but it's long gone. Now I wear faux fur - it's good enough.

Loved the videos Gleds. :)

Gledwood said...

Fake fur will probably never be as soft, but it looks practically as good.

Lesley said...

Good post Gled. It breaks my heart to think of animals being robbed of their fur just to make a fashion statement and I agree that these so-called supermodels are so fickle....... they'll do anything to get into the limelight.

Gledwood said...

That's true what you said about supermodels ~ any excuse to get naked as well, by the looks of it!!

Baino said...

Haha wasn't Naomi Campbell the one who said she wouldn't get out of bed for less than $10,000? We kill thousands of feral rabbits and foxes each year they're feral and environmental pests, why don't they make fur coats out of them? I know the New Zealanders do the same with possum fur. Also feral over there, introduced by Australia. I don't like fur actually. Smells funny and drives dogs bonkers.

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Yes, indeed, stop the fur trade!

Syd said...

I think that it is inhumane about the fur trade. There is no need to kill these little animals.

Gledwood said...

BAINO does it really drive dogs bonkers? how weird!!

WELSHCAKES I bet it never will stop though. even I have mixed feelings about it ~ e.g. about antique fur ~ and what about leather? I wear leather shoes... and eat cows!!

SYD indeed, though see above

I've never owned fur anything, though I DID want to get my dead hamsters stuffed eating peanuts and looking perky-eared... ~ just like the pygmy shrews at Cuffley Woodland camp

I think they would have cost about £250 each though ...

Anonymous said...

i would like to point out that real fur always looks better than fake it's just because were so used to fake fur i have 5 fur jackets and there is nothing wrong with that

I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

Copyright 2011 by Gledwood