HAMSTERS & HEROIN: Not all junkies are purse-snatching grandmother-killing psychos. I'm keeping this blog to bear witness to that fact.

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DIARY OF A SLOWLY RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT

I used to take heroin at every opportunity, for over 10 years, now I just take methadone which supposedly "stabilizes" me though I feel more destabilized than ever before despite having been relatively well behaved since late November/early December 2010... and VERY ANGRY about this when I let it get to me so I try not to.

I was told by a mental health nurse that my heroin addiction was "self medication" for a mood disorder that has recently become severe enough to cause psychotic episodes. As well as methadone I take antipsychotics daily. Despite my problems I consider myself a very sane person. My priority is to attain stability. I go to Narcotics Anonymous because I "want what they have" ~ Serenity.

My old blog used to say "candid confessions of a heroin and crack cocaine addict" how come that one comes up when I google "heroin blog" and not this one. THIS IS MY BLOG. I don't flatter myself that every reader knows everything about me and follows closely every single word every day which is why I repeat myself. Most of that is for your benefit not mine.

This is my own private diary, my journal. It is aimed at impressing no-one. It is kept for my own benefit to show where I have been and hopefully to put off somebody somewhere from ever getting into the awful mess I did and still cannot crawl out of. Despite no drugs. I still drink, I'm currently working on reducing my alcohol intake to zero.

If you have something to say you are welcome to comment. Frankness I can handle. Timewasters should try their own suggestions on themselves before wasting time thinking of ME.

PS After years of waxing and waning "mental" symptoms that made me think I had depression and possibly mild bipolar I now have found out I'm schizoaffective. My mood has been constantly "cycling" since December 2010. Mostly towards mania (an excited non-druggy "high"). For me, schizoaffective means bipolar with (sometimes severe)
mania and flashes of depression (occasionally severe) with bits of schizophrenia chucked on top. You could see it as bipolar manic-depression with sparkly knobs on ... I'm on antipsychotic pills but currently no mood stabilizer. I quite enjoy being a bit manic it gives the feelings of confidence and excitement people say they use cocaine for. But this is natural and it's free, so I don't see my "illness" as a downer. It does, however, make life exceedingly hard to engage with...

PPS The "elevated mood" is long gone. Now I'm depressed. Forget any ideas of "happiness" I have given up heroin and want OFF methadone as quick as humanly possible. I'm fed up of being a drug addict. Sick to death of it. I wanna be CLEAN!!!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Attack of the Furry Entertainers!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Porkshire Trotettes Recipe and a Disney Dog


I REALLY WANT A DISNEY DOG LIKE "PEANUT" FROM THE KINGSMILL ADVERT:

Can you believe NOBODY has put Peanut the dog on Youtube? You have to click here, and you can see him in all his Disney cuteness ... scrabbling at the window because his cruel owers have blamed sandwich theft upon him ... poor swine ...

But if you're too lazy to click, here's a doggie just like Peanut the Kingsmill dog being tormented by a nasty biscuit-eating child:



HERE'S THE RECIPE FOR MY YORKSHIRE TROTETTES:

Trotettes are simple:
get Iceland's own precooked Yorkshire puddings (the type with batter already risen).

Cook beef/lamb, cauliflower/broccoli cheese, vegetables, gravy.

Slam in Yorkshire puddings for last 5 mins.



FROM GERMANY'S BILDZEITUNG:

Hornissen attackieren Schulklasse

Haßloch ~ Eine Schulklasse unternahm in Hassloch (Rheinland-Pfalz) einen Ausflug, ging in einen Wald. Plötzlich fiel dort ein Schwarm aufgeregter Hornissen über die Kinder her ~ offenbar waren sie dem Bau zu nahe gekommen. Drei Schüler, die Lehrerin (30) und ein Jogger (51) wurden durch Stiche verletzt, mußten ins Krankenhaus. Der Förster schaffte den Hornissenbau vom Waldweg fort.


German tabloid style is a little different from the English, so I cleared it up as best I could without straying too far from a literal translation:

HORNETS ATTACK SCHOOLCHILDREN

Hassloch ~ a school class went on a woodland walk in Hassloch (Rheinland-Pfalz). Suddenly a swarm of angry hornets attacked the children, who had obviously strayed too near the insects' nest. Three pupils, the teacher (30) and a passing jogger (51) have been treated in hospital for stings. Forest management removed the nest.


From Bild.de: Horror-Wespen-Report

More from Bild: Wespen-Invasion: Gefahr für Millionen

ä Ä ö Ö ü Ü ß ... How to type German umlauts ...

9 comments:

Syd said...

Thanks for the recipe. I wonder if I can get those Icelandic puddings over here. Hmmmm....
Killer bees strike again.

Akelamalu said...

Have you tried making your own Yorkshire Puddings? They're much tastier. :)

Gledwood said...

Syd: Icelandic puddings? That's one way of putting it. Iceland is a frozen-food supermarket for lower-class folks, which is why I use it!

Akelamalu: Never tried! Though I beat my Mum's batter when I was about 11 and the resulting pudding came out football-sized ..

%->...

Reeny's Ramblin' said...

Isn't Yorkshire pudding hard to make? My Grandmother always fussed about the way they rise when you chuck em in the over.

A couple of weeks ago my Ma was in her garden and stepped on a hornets nest. She got stung 12 times and had to go to the emergency ward. She was told that once one stings you they leave a chemical in you that the others can smell, so they follow and this is why people usually get stung multiple times with hornets. I think the same goes for yellow jackets.

Gledwood said...

HORNETS? What on earth were they doing in her back garden?? I am glad I don't live in Canada! Yes the evil swines emit an attack chemical.

YORKSHIRE PUDDINGS aren't that hard to do nominally well. But like rice cooking, I think there's a definite art to getting them perfect ...

Puss-in-Boots said...

Nothing worse than angry hornets. I know, I've been on the receiving end of that. Horrible beasties they are.

Gledwood said...

I'm glad I don't live in Australia then!!

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I WANT OFF METHADONE AS QUICK AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!

METHADONE ~ A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH







Heroin Shortage: News

If you are looking for the British Heroin Drought post, click here; the latest word is in the comments.







Christiane F

"Wir, Kinder vom Bahnhoff Zoo" by "Christiane F", memoir of a teenage heroin addict and prostitute, was a massive bestseller in Europe and is now a set text in German schools. Bahnhoff Zoo was, until recently, Berlin's central railway station. A kind of equivalent (in more ways than one) to London's King's Cross... Of course my local library doesn't have it. So I'm going to have to order it through a bookshop and plough through the text in German. I asked my druggieworker Maple Syrup, who is Italiana how she learned English and she said reading books is the best way. CHRISTIANE F: TRAILER You can watch the entire 120-min movie in 12 parts at my Random blog. Every section EXCEPT part one is subtitled in English (sorry: but if you skip past you still get the gist) ~ to watch it all click HERE.

To See Gledwood's Entire Blog...

DID you find my blog via a Google or other search? Are you stuck on a post dated some time ago? Do you want to read Gledwood Volume 2 right from "the top" ~ ie from today?
If so click here and you'll get to the most recent post immediately!

Drugs Videos

Most of these come from my Random blog, which is an electronic scrapbook of stuff I thought I might like to view at some time or other. For those who want to view stuff on drugs I've collected the very best links here. Unless otherwise stated these are full-length features, usually an hour or more.

If you have a slow connexion and are unused to viewing multiscreen films on Youtube here's what to do: click the first one and play on mute, stopping and starting as it does. Then, when it's done, click on Repeat Play and you get the full entertainment without interruption. While you watch screen one, do the same to screens 2, 3 and so on. So as each bit finishes, the next part's ready and waiting.

Mexican Black Tar Heroin: "Dark End"

Khun Sa, whose name meant Prince Prosperous, had been, before his death in the mid 2000s, the world's biggest dealer in China White Heroin: "Lord of the Golden Triangle"

In-depth portrait of the Afghan heroin trade at its very height. Includes heroin-lab bust. "Afghanistan's Fateful Harvest"

Classic miniseries whose title became a catchphrase for the misery of life in East Asian prison. Nicole Kidman plays a privileged middle-class girl set up to mule heroin through Thai customs with the inevitable consequences. This is so long it had to be posted in two parts. "Bangkok Hilton 1" (first 2 hours or so); "Bangkok Hilton 2" (last couple of hours).

Short film: from tapwater-clear H4 in the USA to murky black Afghan brown in Norway: "Heroin Addicts Speak"

Before his untimely death this guy kept a video diary. Here's the hour-long highlights as broadcast on BBC TV: "Ben: Diary of a Heroin Addict". Thanks to Noah for the original link.

Some of the most entertaining scenes from Britain's top soap (as much for the poor research as anything else). Not even Phil Mitchell would go from nought to multi-hundred pound binges this fast: "Phil Mitchell on Crack" (just over 5 minutes).

Scientist lady shows us how to cook up gear: "How Much Citric?" Lucky cow: her brown is 70% purity! Oddly we never see her actually do her hit... maybe she got camera shy...

And lastly:

German documentary following a life from teenage addiction to untimely death before the age of 30. The decline in this girl's appearance is truly shocking. "Süchtig: Protokoll einer Hilflosigkeit". Sorry no subtitles; this is here for anyone learning German who's after practice material a little more gripping than Lindenstraße!































Nosey Quiz! Have you ever heard voices when you weren't high on drugs?

Manic Magic

Manic Magic

Gledwood Volume 2: A Heroin Addict's Blog

Copyright 2011 by Gledwood